The title is a bit down, for "artistic" reasons.


	(The Tendou residence, early on a Sunday morning.)
	(Ranma and Genma appear.)

Ranma:  Y'know Pops, maybe training on Tokyo Tower isn't such a good 
idea.  We nearly got arrested last time.  Not to mention you mistaking 
that Hikaru chick for me.

Genma:  So who knew there was more than one pig-tailed redhead in town?  
And I have put plans in motion to distract the police.

	(They run off.  Akane and Nabiki emerge.  Nabiki is wearing a 
business suit.)

Nabiki:  I appreciate your coming to the real estate seminar with me.  
It's in a rough part of town and I can use the company.

Akane:  Uh-huh.  You want a free bodyguard.

	(Before they are quite out of sight, the door bursts open.  It's 
Happosai, with Soun attached to one of his ankles.)

Soun:  Please reconsider, Master!  Not the Miss Tokyo Beauty Pageant!

Happosai:  Sniveling wretch!  Be grateful I have an extra ticket.  
(softer) Better you than that spoilsport Ranma.

	(He leaps off, Soun barely keeping up.  Kasumi comes to the door.)

Kasumi:  Byebye, Father.  Have a nice day.  Dumdedumdedoo...

	(The scene switches to the backyard, by the pool.  Suddenly, a 
blue hole appears in the air.  Four figures hurtle out of it, one 
catching another just before it would have fallen into the water.)

RyougaR:  Smooth move, R-Ball.

RanmaR:  You're welcome.

	(We now see that the figures are similar to others we've seen 
before.  One is Ranma, who appears identical to the one we just saw 
leave.  He's carrying what looks like a cellular phone.  The second is 
Akane, but she's wearing a black leather "Mrs. Peel" outfit with gadgets 
hanging from the belt.  The one that almost got wet is Ryouga, who seems 
a trifle older.  He has on a yellow tuxedo with black trimmings, and 
wears a mustache.  The last person is Dr. Tofu.  He's gained 20 years, 30 
pounds and a full beard.  For some reason, he is garbed in a 15th Century 
Chinese magistrate's robes.)

TofuR:  How much time do we have, Mr. Saotome?

RanmaR:  46 hours, 23 minutes and 2 seconds from mark, Professor.  Any 
clue as to what kind of world this is?

AkaneR:  This is my backyard!  I recognize the pool and the house, and 
over there's the rehearsal hall.  We might finally be home!

RyougaR:  I'll believe that when I see it.  How we going to check?

AkaneR:  Well, first let's check the rehearsal hall.  It should be empty 
this time of day.

    (They open the doors and contemplate the martial arts training 
equipment.)

AkaneR:  A martial arts dojo!  Well, since Dad is a ballet instructor, 
we're definitely not home.

RanmaR:  Maybe he switched while we were gone?

All:  Naah.

	(Kasumi appears across the way.)

Kasumi:  Oh my!  Ranma, you're back so soon?

	(The visitors turn around.)

Kasumi:  What an interesting outfit, Akane.  And Ryouga's too, and Dr. 
Tofu?  What are you doing here?

TofuR:  Homina-homina-homina.  (Starts twisting RyougaR into funny shapes.)

RyougaR:  Hey, watch the threads!

AkaneR:  Excuse us, Miss, but you seem to know us, and who are you?

	(We see the closest thing to shock on Kasumi's face since the 
haircut incident.)

	(Space, with a spiral of globes spinning off into the distance.)

RanmaR (v/o):  Imagine infinite Earths, the same planet, the same year, 
but different realities.  Worlds where the Soviets invaded Japan; where 
your dreams of being a superstar came true; where Nerima is a complete 
and utter loony bin.  (Clips from various episodes, including this one 
:-)  They exist, and I've found the gateway.

				RIDERS
			by Scott K. Jamison
(Ranma 1/2 stuff created by Rumiko Takahashi.  Sliders stuff created by 
Tracy Torme, unless you believe Gharlane of Eddore who claims it was all 
ripped off from a much better unsold pilot.  No infringement intended.)

	(The Tendou living room, where Kasumi pours tea for her 
unexpected guests.)

TofuR:  I feel I must apologize for my earlier behavior, Miss...Kasumi, 
was it?  But you bear an amazing resemblance to my dear departed wife.

Kasumi:  That's all right, Doctor Tofu.  You act like that all the time.  

	(RyougaR stifles a laugh.)

TofuR:  Professor Tofu actually.  I teach astrophysics and ontology at Tokyo 
University, or at least I did until young Mr. Saotome invented the Riding 
device.

Kasumi:  "Riding"?

RanmaR:  It's a method of traveling to alternate Earths.  We "ride" along 
a sort of connector--

Kasumi:  The Einstein-Tezuka-Takahashi bridge?

	(RanmaR facefaults.)

TofuR:  Very good, Kasumi.  Like my wife, you have a keen mind behind 
that beautiful face.

Kasumi:  Thank you, d-Professor.  I would have liked to have gone to 
college, but I had to drop out and take care of my family when Mother 
died.  So I read a lot to keep up.

AkaneR:  Mom's dead?  And you say you're my sister?  Back home, I only 
had one sister.  Do you have a Nabiki Tendou?

Kasumi:  Yes, dear.  She and my Akane are off at a real estate seminar 
today.  By the way, are you and Ranma engaged?

RanmaR & AkaneR (together):  No!, I mean yes!, I mean--

RanmaR:  You take it.

AkaneR:  Well, Ranma did ask, and I was thinking about my answer, but 
then we went Riding, and the timer got broken, and all sorts of things 
happened, and we're hopelessly lost.  

Kasumi:  Oh my.  You two are engaged here, but things haven't gone very 
smoothly in this world either.  I must admit I'm surprised to hear you 
invented this, Ranma.  My you is much more the physical type.

RanmaR:  I guess I owe a lot of it to my father.  He said I'd be the best 
at something, and it turned out to be science.  He was always pushing me 
to study harder, innovate better, learn more.  he died a couple of years 
back, and the Riding device is at least partially my tribute to him.  Is 
my father still alive here?

Kasumi:  Why...yes.  He and your duplicate are out training today.

RyougaR:  And my double?

Kasumi:  He's around somewhere, I'm sure.

RyougaR:  Maybe I can give him a few tips on getting into showbiz.

Kasumi:  ?

RanmaR:  Our version is Ryouga "Crying Man" Hibiki, rising karaoke star.

Kasumi:  I don't recall Ryouga ever saying he was interested in singing, 
but you never know.

RanmaR:  Well, I feel like a little exploring.  Kasumi, is any of this 
currency right for this world?  (Spreads out a handful of bills.)]

Kasumi:  These, and these look right.  (Holds one up.)  Why is Mickey 
Mouse on the 500 yen bill?

RanmaR:  Long story.  Okay, everyone be back in time to Ride, and that 
means you, Crying Man.

RyougaR:  Hey, R-Ball, have I ever missed a Ride?

AkaneR:  Not for lack of getting lost.  Or finding a pretty woman.  See 
you later, Kasumi...my sister.

TofuR:  If it's all right with you, I'll just stay here and feast my eyes 
on this young lady's beauty. 

Kasumi:  Flatterer!

	(Fade to AkaneR walking through the swankier part of Nerima.)

AkaneR:  Lose a mother, gain a sister.  Though what I'd really like to 
gain is my old job at the computer store back.  Even if it means having 
that putz Gosunkugi as my boss again.  Just to sleep in my own bed again, 
have my own life back--


Kunou (off):  Akane Tendou!  At last you have come to me!

	(She turns around and sees Kunou, bokken in hand, rushing towards her.)

AkaneR:  Ack!  Dark Emperor Kunou!  You'll never take me alive!  (Draws a 
flashlight from her belt, which sprouts an energy blade.)

Kunou:  Akane, you honor me by doing battle with swords.  Though I have 
never thought of black as your color, this time I shall date with thee!

	(They clash.)

AkaneR:  "Date with thee"?  That's a strange way to describe what you did 
to those poor girls in your harem!

	(She has advantage.)

Kunou:  Harem?  What harem?  I love only you, my goddess, oh, and the 
pig-tailed girl of course!

	(He comes back.)

AkaneR:  Oops!  Judging by counterparts again!  I've got to stop doing 
that.  Can we back off and start--

	(Kunou strikes the light saber from AkaneR's hands and puts the 
point of his bokken to her throat.)

Kunou:  Oh frabjous day!  Caloo! Calay!  At last I will date with *gurk* 
(as a ribbon wraps around his throat.)

	(Kunou's lovable but slightly wonky sister bounds into the picture.)

Kodachi:  No!  The evil Akane must be slain so I can be with my beloved 
Lord Ranma!  HOOHOOHOO hoohoohoo HOOHOOHOO!

	(The siblings begin to battle each other; AkaneR sneaks off.)

AkaneR:  I think I liked her better as head of the Resistance.

	(Fade to a different part of Nerima.  RyougaR is looking confused.)

RyougaR:  I could have sworn Tamura Productions would be down this road.  
Let's see if I can find a karaoke bar instead then.

	(He walks a bit further and reaches the Nekohanten.  Shampoo is 
sweeping the step.)

RyougaR:  (sotto voce) Hey, hey, hey!  It's that cute waitress I met on 
the world of no clothing!  Now she was a wildcat in bed.  I'll bet the 
same lines work on her.  *chuckle*

	(He walks up to the Chinese girl.)

RyougaR:  Hi, sweetheart.  You probably don't know me, but I'm the Crying 
Man, and right now, I'm crying for some sweet loving from you.

Shampoo:  Nihao, Ryouga.  Why for you sweet talk Shampoo?  Shampoo 
thought Ryouga like Akane!

RyougaR:  That's in the past, my purple-haired dumpling.  She has eyes 
for no one but R-Ball, and I'm a man who needs a flexible woman.  (Starts 
stroking her shoulder.)  I know how to please you.  (whispers in her ear.)

Shampoo:  Aiyah!  How Ryouga know that?!  Shampoo never even tell 
Great-Grandmother she like that!

	(Mousse appears.)

Mousse:  Ranma!  Take your hands off my beloved Shampoo!

RyougaR:  Uh oh, jealous boyfriend.  But I don't look that much like Ranma.

Shampoo:  Silly Mousse!  This not Ranma!

Mousse:  (Peers through glasses)  Hmm, moustache.  Good Lord!  Mr. 
Tendou!?  How could you, sir?  Robbing the cradle!

Shampoo:  Is not Mr. Tendou!  But...Ryouga no have mustache!  Who imposter?

	(She pulls out her bonbori, while Mousse's sleeves sprout sharp 
objects.)

RyougaR:  Time to become "Running Man" Hibiki!  Feet don't fail me now!

Shampoo & Mousse:  Wait!

	(all exit stage left.)

	(RanmaR comes into the picture from stage right, licking an ice 
cream cone.)

RanmaR:  I've been getting the strangest looks.  My duplicate must be 
very well-known here.

	(Ryouga appears in his traveling garb, and spots RanmaR.)

Ryouga:  Ranma!  At last I have found you!

RanmaR:  No need to be so melodramatic, Ryouga.  It's only been a couple 
of hours.  Say, where's your moustache?

Ryouga:  I will finally have my vengeance for all the misfortunes you 
have visited upon me!

RanmaR:  Chill out, Ryouga.  You were the one who reset the timer, remember?

Ryouga:  You can't trick me with your babbling!  DIE, RANMA!

RanmaR:  Whoa, stop!  Ryoogah!  Not the face!

	(Ryouga whups RanmaR good.)

Ryouga:  Defend yourself, Ranma!  Have you suddenly lost your pride?  I 
thought the school of Anything Goes martial arts never gave up!

RanmaR:  But...I don't know...any...martial arts.

	(Ryouga looks stunned, while a crow flies past his head.)

Ryouga:  Happosai must have done something to your mind again!  I know 
what will bring you back to your senses!  (Rushes off.)

RanmaR:  Who's Happosai?  Now I get it, this is the other Ryouga.  Kasumi 
didn't mention he was a homicidal maniac.  Better get out of here before 
he comes back with a chainsaw or something.

	(RanmaR crawls a few feet, but Ryouga reappears (yes, he's too 
confused to get lost!) with a bucket.  He throws water over his opponent, 
then waits expectantly.)

RanmaR:  *splutter*  That was uncalled for.

Ryouga:  You're still a man!  How have you done this?  Give me the cure!  
(Hauls RanmaR up by his lapels.)

RanmaR:  No hitting!  Look, pal, I'm not the Ranma you think I am.  You 
see...

	(FADE TO BLACK)

To be concluded!


SKJAM!
"A good man, sir.  Not someone I'd give a sharp object to, but a good man."

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