Is
It Wrong to Fall in Love?
chapter 4
by Manille
See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know
I’ll be waiting for you here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more…
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more…
"How about this?" Ayame asked as she held a dress in front of her. "This will suit you well."
It was pink. Heck, I’m tired of pink. Maybe I should wear black or something…
I shook my head. "Maybe…some other color?"
"What are you talking about?" Koenma-sama butted in. "Pink suits you very well. It matches your blue hair and the color of your eyes."
The more Koenma-sama assured me, the worse I felt. He shouldn’t be doing this to his future bride. But then again, I was just being paranoid. Ayame just nodded, agreeing with whatever Koenma-sama said.
I scrutinized the dress again. It would probably reach down to my ankles. It had spaghetti straps, a low neckline, and a slit on the left from the thigh downward. It was made out of a fabric that seemed to shine when light strikes it.
It was beautiful; I had to admit it. And they were telling me to wear it on their wedding. Me, the maid of honor.
"So you think that," I muttered silently to Koenma-sama. "No wonder you gave me this kimono."
"Hey, that’s not fair!" Koenma-sama crossed his arms in front of him in an attempt to look pathetic. "Would I give you that if it looks crap? Think of wearing…neon green, for one!"
Ayame chuckled. "I think Botan would look pretty in anything."
"Oh, geez, Ayame," I said, smiling. "I’m touched by what you’re saying. But no, neon green is NOT for me, thank you."
Koenma-sama and Ayame laughed. I giggled along, for the sake of it.
Why do they have to be so nice to me when they should know how I’m feeling?
This is bad, I thought as I neared Keiko’s ramen house. Koenma-sama had told me to drop by between my ferrying duties and invite Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara-kun, Yukina-chan and Kurama-kun for the banquet.
Surely enough, Yusuke was there. The shop was empty, save for him and Keiko. He was sitting on one of the tables while Keiko was on a chair, her elbow on the table and her chin propped up on her hand. She was grinning up to him amusedly as he talked. It was as if he was telling her a story. Then both of them broke into laughter, with Keiko pushing him mildly on his side.
This would be the only time when Keiko would let Yusuke sit on the table, I thought idly, knocking on the door.
"Botan!" I heard Keiko exclaim as she opened the door. She engulfed me in a bear hug. "I thought you wouldn’t return after some time again!"
"Hey, you," Yusuke said, sauntering over. "What happened to you a few weeks ago, when you left us with that daft look on your face?"
"Yeah," Keiko nodded, a bit vigorously, as she led me inside and took out a seat for me. "What really did happen, pray tell?"
I kinda expected this, I thought, closing my eyes for a moment as I sat down. Why did I EVER agree to Koenma-sama?
"Oh. Ha-ha!" I laughed nervously. "That? Well…uh…."
"Uh-huh?" Yusuke urged. And in my opinion, he was taunting me, as if he knew every bit of what was going on. Keiko just looked on, innocently, as usual.
Kami-sama help me, I silently prayed. "Uh…er, you see…" I looked down on the ground for a guilty effect. "You’re right, Koenma-sama didn’t tell me about his wedding."
Keiko and Yusuke glanced at each other.
"And…er, you know, I got quite pissed off. That’s all." I grinned. "Nothing much, I just heated up at the wrong time. And I’m really sorry about that, you guys."
"Hey, it’s nothing," Yusuke said, waving a hand in front of his face. He nudged Keiko on her shoulder. "Told you so."
I raised an eyebrow. "Told Keiko what?"
"Yusuke!" Keiko chided. She spread her hands out in front of her. "Nothing, really."
"Heh," Yusuke shook his head. "Keiko’s romantic side got the better of her and she thought you’re mad at Koenma for marrying another girl."
Oopsie. I had no idea Keiko could figure me out so easily.
"Aww, Yusuke!" Keiko glared at her boyfriend. She smiled apologetically at me. "I’m really sorry, Botan-chan. I didn’t mean it that way—I mean, I just thought maybe…and that doesn’t mean it’s right…ne?"
I forced a weak smile. "No, Keiko-chan, you’re mistaken. It has nothing to do with…feelings…or whatever."
Keiko frowned. "I’m really sorry for saying something so untrue," she said softly. "I always jump to conclusions every now and then, I could get into trouble with spreading rumors…"
"Everyone jumps into conclusions, I suppose," I replied quietly. "And you didn’t spread any rumor, Keiko-chan. Yusuke here," I looked at him pointedly, "just told me what you confided to him, and he shouldn’t have said it."
"Oi, watch what you’re saying!" Yusuke yelled at me. "I’m a man of truth and I’ll do whatever I have to do to know it!"
"Oh, you would, eh?" Somehow, Yusuke’s words struck my chest hard. What if he investigates or something? "Even to risk Keiko-chan’s life?"
Yusuke was obviously stunned. Keiko let out a giggle, bringing her hands to her lips. I laughed along at the ruin of the only male ego in the room.
"Okay, okay, so I lose," Yusuke mumbled, throwing his hands up. "What brings you here, anyhow? Just to say hi or is there something else?"
"Yes, there is something else," I answered. "Koenma-sama is holding a banquet the day—er, the night before the wedding. He wanted you to come to both occasions."
"Why, I thought he’d never ask!" Yusuke exclaimed. "SURE we’d go!"
"I-in Reikai?" Keiko asked reluctantly.
"And where else?"
Keiko looked at Yusuke. "But…aren’t they after you?"
Yusuke laughed. "Not anymore," he replied.
Keiko wasn’t convinced yet. "But…Reikai is…literally, a world away!"
"What am I doing here, then?" I asked, smiling.
Yusuke’s eyes widened at me. "Oh, no you’re not, Botan," he said. He pointed at the direction of my oar, which I was holding at that moment. "I won’t let Keiko ride on that thing! When I rode on your oar, I thought I was going to die!"
"You were dead already," I pointed out.
"You know what I mean!"
"Hey, for both of you, I’d make the ride smooth," I assured them. "How does that sound, Keiko-chan?"
"Well…I’m afraid of heights…"
"Keiko," Yusuke began, "when you fall, I’ll be right there on the ground to catch you."
Keiko and I stared at him.
"And no figurative language intended there, okay?" he added.
"Well…" Keiko was hard to persuade. "When will the banquet be?"
I nodded once. "It will be on the full moon," I said. "And the banquet will be on the night before."
Yusuke turned to Keiko. "When will the next full moon be?"
Keiko checked the calendar near the table where we were. "Uh…May 18, according to the calendar."
I noticed Yusuke’s left eye twitch at the corner.
"Something wrong with that?"
"May…18?"
"Yes. Why?"
Yusuke looked at the two of us. All we could do was to stare back at him.
Yusuke’s gaze landed on Keiko’s face. "I…I can’t go to the wedding," he said. "The banquet, yes. But not the wedding."
"But Yusuke!" I cried. "What would Koenma-sama say?!"
"Look, I’m sorry, but I really can’t!"
I almost couldn’t believe it. Yusuke had lost all his earlier perkiness and was now looking like he was about to fire a blast of his rei gan at us.
What was with May 18, anyhow? I couldn’t remember anything memorable with that date. Where was Yusuke going to on that date?
"C-can’t you cancel your appointments for that night, Yusuke?" Keiko looked perplexed as well. "And for that matter, do you have any appointments?"
"I’m afraid I do," he said in a chilling tone. "But I can’t tell you what it is now."
"But—"
"Sorry, Keiko. Botan." He began to stand up. "I have to go."
Keiko stood up as well. "Yusuke—"
"Look, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?" Yusuke told her as he opened the door. "Ja ne."
"J-ja mata," Keiko said under her breath. And with that, Yusuke left the ramen shop.
Keiko and I were silent for a long while.
"Was there…something I said?" Keiko finally asked quietly.
"May 18?"
"What’s with that date?" Keiko was still staring at the door.
"Any birthday or anniversary that you recall of?"
Keiko shook her head stiffly. "He…he always kisses me goodbye…"
I arched both eyebrows.
May 18.
I guess I’m not the only one who dreads that date.
"Weird," I muttered. "He couldn’t just walk off like that without telling you anything!"
"I-I know. I wonder what bothers him so much…it has got to be something to do with me, asides from the day itself."
I didn’t say anything.
"He…he’s just too hard to figure out," she continued.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "People are like that." And I’m like that, too, I wanted to tell her. Hard to figure out. No wonder no one loves me for what I am….