Is
It Wrong to Fall in Love?
chapter 5
by Manille
Even as I brought Yusuke and Keiko to the Reikai on the night of the seventeenth of May, neither of them spoke a word. Keiko gasped occasionally as I avoided an obstacle in the sky, but Yusuke just tightened his grip around her waist, nothing more.
I tried to joke, once. "Hey, so who among the two of you eat too much? My oar is getting too heavy here. Or have the both of you gained weight?"
"Only one other person is allowed to ride here," Yusuke muttered.
"Um…er, right," I had stuttered in response, a bit embarrassed because Yusuke was very right. But for the sake of them, I had to bring two people, ne? Weren’t they even the slightest bit grateful?
I had taken Kuwabara-kun and Yukina-chan to Reikai a few hours before; Kurama-kun had gone there himself. Yukina was scared as well, but the ever-gallant Kuwabara Kazuma was there to comfort his beloved Koorime.
But not the couple I was carrying now. I heard Keiko stifle her scream as we entered the portal that divided the Reikai and the Ningenkai. I felt her lean her head on my back, tickling me a bit as she did.
"Hey, Keiko-chan, don’t worry!" I tried to console her when Yusuke didn’t. "You’re not going to fall!"
"I-I’m scared!"
"Yusuke!" I yelled. "Comfort her, please?"
Bad idea. Yusuke didn’t do anything. Heck, what in the three worlds was wrong with him?!
I had no time to ask, for the palace swam into view. I flew the oar higher to enter the palace through the balcony, like I always did. I heard another gasp from Keiko.
"Here we go!" I yelled, trying to calm her. But it only made her more frightened.
And Yusuke—for heaven’s sake, Yusuke, her boyfriend—wasn’t even doing anything to calm her. I made a mental note to strangle and confront Yusuke later on.
As I slowed down upon reaching the balcony, I heard excited shouts, music, and clinking of glasses from somewhere inside the palace. It had to be the huge banquet hall. Koenma-sama’s office, on the other hand, was dead empty.
"Looks like we’re not dressed for the occasion," I said cheerfully, stopping the oar so that they could hop off. "But don’t worry. Koenma-sama had given me some clothes for you guys to wear."
"Wow, that’s really…um, nice of him to do," Keiko replied timidly. She was still stealing glances at Yusuke.
Sugoi. The guy still had that faraway, almost upset look.
I let out a dramatic sigh. "Yeah, and I just hope…SOMEONE around here could just thank him." I leaned my head close to Yusuke’s, just in case he didn’t get it. "That’d be pretty easy, ne, Kei-chan?"
Keiko’s cheeks turned pinkish. She looked away—if I had looked closer, I’d say there was a hurt look in her eyes. I must have said something.
What are you talking about? I scolded myself. You HAD said something!
"Saa," I yelled once more, throwing my hands up. "Let’s go. Your clothes are waiting." I led them into Koenma-sama’s office. On his desk were a lovely periwinkle kimono and matching sandals for Keiko and a less formal long-sleeved polo shirt and pants for Yusuke. "There they are. Now get them and follow me," I added, a bit irritably.
We headed out of the room and into the wide, closed hallway.
"Doushita no, Botan-chan?" I heard Keiko ask. "You don’t look too okay."
I pasted a wide grin on my face before I whipped around to face her. "I’M PERFECTLY OKAY!!!" I cried, linking arms with her. "Hey, you go with me and dress in my room, okay?" I turned to Yusuke. "You go there—" I pointed to a door across the hallway—"and dress up. And by the way," I added for good measure, "behave when you meet Koenma-sama."
Yusuke didn’t say anything. In what seemed like a daze, he walked towards the room I pointed out.
"Okay," I said, breathing out. "What’s wrong with him?"
I led Keiko to my room as we talked. "I still don’t know," Keiko replied, shaking her head fretfully. "He—I talked to him over the phone last night, but he told me he’s…busy." Keiko pressed her lips together firmly. "Busy…thinking."
I cocked an eyebrow. "Thinking about…?"
She shrugged. "May 18, I guess." She clutched the kimono to her chest. "I’m really sorry, Botan. He seems to bother you as well."
"Well…he does," I admitted. "Very much. The two of you drive me crazy."
Keiko let out a wry smile. "Sumimasen."
"Hope everything works out."
"Hai. Me too."
By then, we were in front of my room. "Oh my," Keiko whispered. "What a neat room!"
"Thanks," I responded.
"It looks so…happy!" she complimented. "Just like you!"
I had to laugh. "Happy, huh?"
"Yeah. Why?"
I reached for the kimono I had left on my bed. It was a dark-violet in color, made with ningen silk.
I heaved a sigh. Koenma-sama gave me the kimono. He wanted me to wear that on his last night as a bachelor.
As much as I had tried to forget about him and his nearing wedding day, he still hovered above my mind, trying to penetrate through the thoughts I had of Yusuke and Keiko. And now that Keiko mentioned about being "happy"….
"It’s…not always like that," I finally said, softly, yet it was hard for me to say.
Keiko kept silent, letting me continue.
"Yes, maybe I am cheerful," I went on. "But I can also feel sadness, Keiko-chan. And anger. And any other feelings you can feel."
"Yes, I know that," Keiko said. "Of course you do. Everyone does. What I meant was…well, most of the time, you’re happy. And," she added, "I quite envy you for that."
I let out a chuckle, but I was deeply searching at her face. "Yeah? Why?"
Keiko turned her back on me and began to unbutton her blouse. "You comfort a lot of people with your cheerfulness. And you look like the type who just…forgets about her problems so easily."
I turned around as well. "Really?"
"Yeah."
I smiled slowly, but it was a despondent one. No, I didn’t think Keiko would ever understand. It was because she knew Yusuke would always love her, and would always take care of her—because he had done that since their childhood. Even if Yusuke were unreasonable at times, Keiko would never have a broken heart. Never. Unlike me.
Happy. Happiness—or at least pretending to be happy at this time—is probably the best shield that I have that would help me make it through Koenma-sama’s wedding.
I couldn’t do anything else, could I?
I felt an invisible force grip my heart tight. It DOES hurt, I thought, sighing