would you take my worlds apart? would you wrap me in bliss? would you sing with me? would you take me with you? would you take the beauty and leave the tears? or would you trash me now, and take the passion from my eyes and abandon me, stab me, leave me wretched and oblivious....

so i would sing, sing, sing, sing... til my vision of you parts like the sunset- til your shadow casts no more. i would sing forever just to be calm without your pace.. without your prescence. but every story has its beginning, and end. every story has a twist, and mine's no different.

I'm still depressed, emotionally unstable, confused, lost, and dratted. My life hasn't changed a bit... still the same shitty, pathetic, blank, and colorless life i had when i first started on my suicidal single paged site. still unloved, unappreciated~ but something IS different. something different this time-- and it makes a whole lot sense (oh.. but then again, i still don't think so). you probably don't understand why.. some people tried to do so, but they ended hating me.. which hurts me even more. ok, let's get into it.. really now.. really.

I love this person. I love this person to the bones. But this person doesn't see that. He doesn't see that I grumble at his feet-- begging him to at least reciprocate me a bit. even, just a bit... but he doesn't see me, he doesn't see me at all. The ironies serve as a boundary- and i don't blame him. in fact, i don't blame anybody. But it's so hard for me to keep this to myself. I don't know why i love him so much, i don't know why his very prescence brings chills up my spine, why, i don't even care now how he looks or how he'll be really like-- all i know is that this is tearing me apart. it's making me lifeless.. alive at first, but sucking every part of me as it continues..

i don't know if you're reading this- you probably don't have time for me.. i don't blame you. you're probably sick of me, sick of having to deal with me all the time.. and i'm. i'm.. sorry. it's not like i wanted you to get utterly sick of me.. to be frank, i wanted the total opposite. now you hate me, you're throwing it all back at my face, you're trying to make my life a living hell-- and congratulate yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back, you've succeeded. you've made my life a living hell.. you wanna know why? because i do love you.. even if it seems stupid- pathetic, shitty.. whatever you call it. and yes, i don't know why.. hell why.

love knows no bounds. i strongly decline, i'd prove this wrong. i'd prove this so wrong. love does know bounds, and it knows lots of them. i don't know which one served a barrier from me to you. or maybe, we're just all mistaken. love doesn't exist. maybe it's just a myth, something everyone would try to make a fuss about and fantasize on... but really, maybe it just doesn't exist. or at least, love that is true doesn't.

bottomline. tell me what you think, tell me and tell me asap. tell me! don't leave me hanging. if you hate me, tell me.. if you don't give a fuck about me, tell me.. and tell me- send me a note. tell me if you wanna get on with your hip life and lose it all for losers like me. tell me, coz i don't know now what to do. like how you did before.. i feel the same way.. now that you're really not.. responsive. i'm a hopeless case. i know that, even if it's hard to face.

and ps: i really do love you + and i think i still will, even if you --- trash me now, take the passion from my eyes, abandon me, stab me, leave me wretched and oblivious...

hey you, yeah you..
wanna see the first suidical page? click here.