BURN UP W
No, this isn’t an anti-Bush rally
Review by: Craig “Fatter Than Detective Sipowitz” Norris
Length: 4 episode OAV
Genre: Action, comedy
Watched: All, subbed
Ah, hot chicks with guns. When that is the main element of an anime, it can be a hit-or-miss proposition. The good ones (Noir, Burst Angel) are really good. Unfortunately, the bad ones are really bad. This one definitely falls toward the latter end of the spectrum.
Plot synopsis: When things get too hairy for the police to handle, the special division Warrior is deployed to clean up the mess. This all-female group of specially-trained officers uses unorthodox methods and all the weaponry at their disposal to always get their man. Unfortunately, this time their “man” is a woman, and she’s developed a breakthrough electronic drug that puts people totally under her control.
Artwork: The uniforms seem a bit off for this anime. For girls that require extra-large tops, it seems that all that was available to the police department were small. Hence, our typically well-endowed leading ladies constantly seem as though their assets will perpetrate a “jail break.” Normally I don’t complain, but this time it is really, ridiculously noticeable. I guess the artists working on the key animations had trouble drawing fabric folds, and decided to circumvent that by making everything skin-tight. Aside from that, character designs and mecha look about like one would expect from a futuristic female cop anime.
Music: Well, I certainly wasn’t tapping my toes to this music. Like much of the rest of the anime, the soundtrack was very bland, barely serving to even accompany on-screen action very well. The opening and closing themes are all factory-assembled J-pop with no catchiness to them at all. In-episode tracks may as well have been white noise, because I certainly was unable to pay attention to them. And that says a lot, considering I generally disliked everything else about this OAV as well.
Characters: One truly aggravating aspect of this OAV is that each character has a personality that is so drastically divergent from everyone else, and yet they all love and respect one another as if they were family. Rio is the hotheaded main character who would much rather be on the front line than filling out all the paperwork she gets stuck with. She also has a big problem with keeping money in her pocket. She often flirts with her superiors to make them give her what she wants. Her main romantic pursuer is fellow officer Yuji. Yuji seems to care about Rio, but too often degenerates into leering and drooling at her body. Not that I can blame him, but there’s something to be said for being a gentleman. A word of advice: take a picture; it’ll last longer, and it doesn’t hit you when you stare at it! Maya is aggressive and trigger happy, constantly begging the department to let her shoot more. In fact, she has threatened to quit unless they let her shoot more. She’s always the one who gets sent to the rooftop with a sniper rifle, and that’s the way she likes it. Lilica is the youthful computer whiz that helps the Warriors coordinate information and plan attacks. It is not known why she decided to work with the Warriors, especially since it is known that she is the daughter of a very wealthy family. Nanvel is the robotics expert that, due to budget problems, is often sequestered in the basement area of the police complex. She and Lilica together can tackle and solve just about any technological mystery. Maki is the leader of the Warriors, and is the one who is responsible for deployment. She also seems to be the keeper of the finances, as she is very cognizant of costs. Her hard-line disposition prevents a lot of the friction among the Warriors from raging out of control. Of course, each character has their own unique hair colors and hair styles, so as to quickly identify them at 1,000 yards. The characters may be unique from one another, but they are very similar to other female cops from other female cop anime.
Plot: If this had stayed a straight comedy, it would have been at least mildly entertaining. The first episode was particularly thought-provoking, showing what average morons would demand if they had a hotel full of hostages at their disposal. Personally, I could relate to the guy who demanded that the cute pop idol perform a naked bungee jump. But they couldn’t let the silliness stand alone; the creators decided to throw in some needless, overly-cliché, and shallow drama. The centerpiece being the token friend of the main character—whom we got to know for all of five minutes—that gets killed off in a superfluously bloody, stupidly senseless way. Of course, that flips Rio’s switch from being a flirty credit-dodger to a vengeance-crazed hellhound. And, to make matters worse, the main plot does not get resolved at the end. Apparently, this OAV is meant to be a lead-in to the TV series, Burn-Up Excess. Aptly titled, because anything that would continue this disappointing production certainly is excessive.
CHICKS!: I guess, if you really need a reason to watch this (and there aren’t many), this is what you should have in mind. Aside from the juvenile Lilica, each member of the Warriors team has eye-popping curves that could cause a multi-car pileup if visible along a major highway. Rio is likely the most sexually uninhibited of the girls, as she shamelessly manipulates her superiors by flirting with them, and is not above earning extra cash by selling her panties. If she wasn’t such a money-pit, I’m sure she would be the perfect hot date. Maya has the personality of Charlton Heston wrapped in the body of Jenna Jameson. Therefore, any member of their local gun club would probably give up their ankle holster to go out with her. Although, if you don’t make her happy, I have a feeling she may decide to hunt you for sport. And since I can’t run very fast, that rules me out as a potential suitor. Nanvel seems rather ditzy, so it’s a wonder to me how she can develop such sophisticated robotics. Also, it’s amazing that her skin is so tan, despite being holed up in a basement 99 percent of the time. Then again, anime chicks don’t traditionally conform to the laws of nature (particularly gravity, if you know what I mean). Maki probably has the most stable and reasonable personality of the chicks. She knows how to motivate the people who work for her, and knows when to bend the rules. She’s probably the best overall girlfriend material out of the bunch. Just don’t expect to win many arguments against her. In terms of raw physical dimensions the chicks are all to die for, but their personalities are a bit too one-dimensional to spend an inordinate amount of time drooling over. By all means droll a little though; they’re damn hot.
Overall: The funny parts weren’t all that funny, and the dramatic parts weren’t all that dramatic. Aside from some nice cleavage and panty shots, there wasn’t anything in this OAV that interested me at all. Worst of all, it doesn’t even end; it was just meant to be a taste of what Burn-Up Excess has to offer. Unfortunately it tasted bad. Though I elect to stop before the main course is served, I will leave a good tip: do not watch Burn-Up W.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ Funny fanservice
+ Some decent action
- Poor soundtrack
- “Comedy” is not that funny
- Drama is plain awful
- Characters are too exaggerated
Rating: 3.5/10
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