"I love you Ranma!"

THE AKANE ARGUMENTS      What is it about Akane that draws all these cute guys to her side? Is it her cute smile... when she does smile? Or her incredible martial arts skill... when she isn't tripping over her own feet? How about her cooking... when it's not causing ulcers -- but then, that's never! Whatever the case, she's got a mile-long list of possible loves, from the underage Prince Toma to the ancient Happosai. And for each one, there's a thousand reasons why they could never replace Ranma in Akane's heart. I'll only be covering Ranma's major rivals, and you'll notice, there's not alot of them.... ^_^

"Oh Akane..."

Akane and Ryoga? Never! 1. Ryoga will like any girl who accepts P-chan.  Ranma pretends to be his fiancee to ruin Ryoga and Akane's date, and Ryoga  believes him! What kind of gullible fool is he? Or maybe just a lonely lovelorn soul ..... but that's another story.  If you studied P-chan's eyes closely as Azusa held him, you'd notice a heaven of ecstasy, not panic and embarassment! Hey! Ryoga goes after Akari, lover of pigs (no not literally...hmm, maybe except in Ryoga's case heheh) see this link 2. He's living a lie with Akane!  Ryoga hides his curse from Akane because as P-chan, he gets the benefit of Akane's warm bosom and bed. That sneaky little devil.  He doesn't actually have a horrible sense of direction. He just pretends so everyone will feel sorry for him, weeping at his sad plight and thus, feed into his own perpetual depression until he can blast Ranma with an enormous Shi Shi Hokodan. 3. He was the perpetrator in the case of the Bad Haircut. Even though she now likes her short hair, Akane was deeply traumatized from the humiliation. Couldn't you see the despair, the sheer anguish in her eyes? 4. Ryoga and Ukyou! It's so obvious in the anime, duh!  see Ryoga and Ukyou - a Perfect Pair

 

Akane and Shinnosuke? Yeah right!  1. She doesn't love him. Gratitude does not equal love. When he asked if she could love him, Akane said "I don't know, I guess..." purely out of pity and guilt. Here's this guy who's dying because of her, his only cure is gone, and then he professes his love. She's not a mean girl, just violent. She's not one to just laugh in his face and say, "Are you kidding? I belong to Ranma!" (Although we all know that's what she was thinking.)  After a year of Ranma's strange courtship, Akane was starved for affection, and was very much influenced by Shinnosuke's compliments on her cooking -- though they were mistakenly placed. 2. He would always forget about her! By the end of Akane's trip to Ryugenzawa, Shinnosuke already forgot that he told her his feelings. How soon would it be until he forgot her completely? No heartbreak for him! 3. Their children would be humongous and very, very hard to look after.

 

"Hey, Kuno baby..."

Akane and Kuno? Frightening....  1. Kuno's in love alright, with himself! He can't choose between Akane and the Pig-Tailed Girl and thinks either of them care who he picks.  "Blue Thunder?!" "Rising star?!" "I will date with you?!" Such a show of modesty! 2. He talks and acts weird. (But it is romantic... sometimes) "They love least that let them know their love. Maids say no to that which they would have construed 'aye.' I follow my love -- into the depths of hell itseeeeeelf." Can anyone explain that to me? He thought he could have a better chance at Akane if he beat her in a fight, then told every other guy at school they'd have to do the same! No wonder she hates guys. The only time Kuno's ever seemed like a normal guy was when he was in class, actually dressed in uniform, saying "HE'S-her-FIANCEE?! Nooooo. I won't allow it!" 3. Kuno and Nabiki, of course! Awwww, it's so sweet when they insult each other. Nabiki: No, this is how you spell [your name] Incompetent. Kuno: I detest you. Nabiki: I'm so glad. It's just their form of foreplay. Whenever Akane beats him up, Nabiki is always the one to bring him to the nurse's station. See? She does care. (and not just about his money)  ^_^

 

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