THE BISHOUNEN

Tis morning.

Kenshin: (screams) TAIHEN!!!!
Kaoru: (in kitchen) (drops frying pan on Sano's head) Kenshin! (darts in direction of distress)
Sano: (with frying pan on head) Oi...
Yahiko: Kenshin! (takes off after Kaoru)
Kenshin: TASUKETE!!! (sob) OH MY GOD!!!!!
Kaoru: (skids into bathroom) Kenshin! Kenshin, what is it???
Kenshin: (dejectedly kneeling on floor, hands on face) Kaoru-dono, Kaoru-dono wh-what's happening to me?
Kaoru: (kneels) Kenshin, Kenshin tell me what's wrong!!!
Sano: (appearing in doorway) Oi, what the hell's going on in here?
Kenshin: (trembling) I-I...something's wrong! (hides face)
Kaoru: Please, let me see! (grabs Kenshin's hand)
Kenshin: (do-kun) (do-kun)
Kaoru: (uncovering Kenshin's face) Oh no! (gasp)
Yahiko: (sweatdrop) M-MASAKA!
Kaoru: (jaw drops) K-Kenshin...!
Sano: Huh? (peers closer) What's with those 3 blonde hairs on your chin, Kenshin?
Kenshin: (panics) What's wrong with me? Oshiete, kudasai!
Sano: (shrug) You've got a beard.
Kenshin: (frowns) A...what???
Kaoru: (bangs Sano on the head) You idiot, don't take this so lightly! Kenshin has HAIR on his face!
Sano: (crosses arms) Who'd have guessed? (chuckles)
Kenshin: (blushes) Sano...
Yahiko: No way! It's impossible! That's against the bishounen handbook! Kenshin can't have facial hair!
Kaoru: (sweatdrop) (puts hand on Yahiko's shoulder) Yes, Yahiko. Yes, but he DOES! He DOES! (regards Kenshin with compassion)
Kenshin: What shall I do? (moan) This hair on my face will surely be the end of me!
Yahiko: (smirk) Doesn't seem to hurt Kaoru any.
Kaoru: (snarl) NANI??? (flattens him)
Sano: (laughs) Yeah, Jo-chan's got enough yang to kill a horse!
Kenshin: (painfully) Sano...!
Kaoru: GRRRRR! (gnaws on Sano's hair)
Sano: Kenshin, don't worry. With any luck, it'll just spread to the rest of your body and make you pleasantly fuzzy!
Kenshin: (pales) No...!
Kaoru: (screams) We've GOT to do something!
Yahiko: HAI!
Kaoru: I'll get Dr. Genzai! Sano, you stay here with Kenshin and make sure he stays as smooth as possible!
Sano: (sulk) And how'm I supposed to check that?
Kaoru: (dustcloud)
Yahiko: (sigh) Congratulations Kenshin, you're a man!
Kenshin: (hyperventilates into Meiji era paper sack)
Yahiko: Kenshin's taking this awfully bad.
Sano: Do you think anyone ever told him about the OTHER guy stuff?
Yahiko: You mean like--?
Sano: (covers his mouth) Shhh! Shut up, stupid! You'll upset him!
Kenshin: (moans on floor) (rubs chin)
Yahiko: I think the cake is gonna hit him pretty hard.
Sano: Nah, he should know about that by now. When his voice starts changing and his hips lose their baby roundness, we won't hear the end.
Yahiko: Being a bishounen is tough on guys, isn't it?
Sano: (shrugs) The chicks dig it. They relate to 'em more, I guess.
Kenshin: (weakly) Y-Ya...hi...ko, can you please get....get me some....tea?
Yahiko: Hai.
Kenshin: (hugs self) I'm pretty, I AM pretty, I'm pretty....(moans)
Sano: Yeah, sure ya are Kenshin! It's just a little hair!
Kenshin: (sniff) But I've never had hair on my FACE before! It's unnatural!
Sano: (shrug) Dr. Genzai has hair on his face.
Kenshin: (bawls) I'M HORRID!
Sano: Aw, don't say that. Some chicks dig the facial hair thing!
Kenshin: WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Sano: (scratches head) Oi! What'd I say?
Kaoru: (runs in) Kenshin! Kenshin, I'm back! (clutches Sano) How is he?
Sano: (smirk) Hairy.
Kaoru: (bites fist) Oh god no!
Dr. Genzai: (picks up Kenshin's chin) Hmmm.....3 blonde hairs. There's still hope.
Kenshin: (big sparkly eyes) Meow???
Dr. Genzai: Your face can be saved, Kenshin.
Kaoru: Oh, thank goodness!
Dr. Genzai: (hands Kenshin some Burmashave) Use this on your face tonite and only ONCE tonite and you won't see those hairs for a long while.
Kenshin: You mean they come back???
Dr. Genzai: In some cases. Although, your bishounen status is not threatened by 3 measly hairs.
Kaoru: Are you crazy? If I found hairs on my chin, I'd die!
Kenshin: Yeah!
Sano: What's the big deal? I get 'em sometimes.
Kaoru: You are a brute, Sano.
Sano: And Kenshin isn't?
Kenshin: I'm....I'm...I'm a bishounen! (drives fist through the wall)
Yahiko: (appearing with tea in hands) Wow, sugoi Kenshin! Let all that manly rage out!
Kenshin: AAAGGHHHHHHHH! I'm notta brute!
Yahiko: Such machismo!
Kaoru: You shut up, Yahiko! (bops him)
Kenshin: Oh! (stands up quickly and straightens up bathroom) Oh, look at this place! I've made it a sight! Yare, yare, I'm so messy! (smooths out ponytail)
Yahiko: (sigh) Was cool while it lasted.
Sano: (turns around) Make sure ya powder your nose before you show your face to me again. And don't forget to check your legs for any hairs. They DO pop up.
Kenshin: (lifts hakama) Oh god, where???? (freaks) (examines legs)
Kaoru: (eats Burmashave) Tastes like clouds. (grin)