Quantum Econodynamics and the Huckster-Orlon Theory of international Trade

by

Selra H.C. Newrad

    As most readers know, according to classical Huckster-Orlon (H-O) theory, if the ratio of hucksters to orlon in the U.S. exceeds this ratio elsewhere in the world, the U.S. should be exporting hucksters and importing orlon so consumers everywhere will attain utility maxima [i.e. get more bang for their bucks].

    Unfortunately, countries whose citizens are similar with respect to income, tastes, and skills - in particular, the leading industrialized nations - want to trade the same kinds of things.  That is, everyone wants to trade hucksters for orlon irrespective of comparative advantage in these factors of production.

    This has completely upset international trade theory and has resulted in an enormous trade deficit for the United States; we have experienced an influx of hucksters despite an initial, relative abundance of this factor.  Consequently, imports in orlon have fallen to historic lows: consumers are having to settle for short-sleeved sweaters with half as many ribs and socks one size smaller than they are accustomed to buying.

    In order to export hucksters under these conditions, it is necessary to create a complementary product or service which is more desirable to consumers than the hucksters but which cannot be obtained without them.  Automobile tires, for example, are complementary to automobiles; it took an enterprising economist to realize that if we could sell people cars, we could also sell them tires.  Clearly, without the automobile there would have been limited demand for these tires.  As everyone knows, an enormous American industry arose in response to the need to create a market for automobile tires.  So it can be with American hucksters.

    One obvious complement to hucksters is California, or to be more precise, pieces of California.  The Japanese cannot undersell us here since they don't have California (at least not yet).  Furthermore, we can restrict the wholesale supply of California pieces to our own hucksters.

    Surely, there are millions, if not billions, of Brazilians, Canadians, Italians, and Russians who would shell out a dollar or so to own a genuine piece of California.  A few years ago our hucksters succeeded in unloading pet rocks on the U.S. populace at $5 a pop; now they can expand on this concept as well as the market: take an authentic "mineral deposit" from the Mother Lode, throw in a map showing its original location and a "deed" to it and the rest of the world will be begging (especially if we see to that local demand cannot be met; there is nothing like a shortage to whet the appetite).

    Imagine, for instance, the typical Chinese worker, deprived of Disneyland, the Napa Valley wine country, and a ninety-minute freeway commute, lording it over his comrades with his piece of California.  Naturally, it would be prudent to select a variety of rock which, though abundant in California, is rare or non-existent in the proposed market area The purchaser must feel - and his friends must feel - that he possesses something unique, something of value.  And for those Marxists who insist their purchases have utility as well, the rock can double as a paperweight or doorstop.

    To ensure adequate sales we must, of course, export our hucksters along with the rocks.  Here, at last, is a product which is not labor-intensive (the rocks, not the hucksters) and for which world demand can be met without significantly diminishing a valuable, natural resource or cutting into domestic consumption.

   We quantum econodynamicists may have our heads in the belfry of the ivory tower, but our investment capital is firmly planted in the rock-solid, California economy.  Indeed, with minimum ingenuity, California and her hucksters can be the "going thing."