The Walrasian and the Carpenter

by Selra H.C. Newrad

(with chortles to Lewis Carroll)

The auctioneer stood on the block

And called with all her might.

She did her very best to make

The prices come out right.

And this was odd because

No goods were yet in sight.

The firms were private enterprise;

 Demand perfectly elastic.

All sets were closed and quite convex;

No agents antiphrastic.

And, to maximize utility,

Consumers orgiastic.

The Walrasian and the Carpenter

Were swimming toward the land.

They wept like anything to see

Vast quantities of sand.

"If this were equilibrium,

Supply would meet demand!"

"If seven men with seven Macs

Theorized for ninety years,

Do you suppose," Walrasian asked,

"That markets then might clear?"

"I doubt it, " said the Carpenter

And shed a bitter tear.

"Jacobins, come and walk with us,"

The Walrasian said to all.

"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk

Inside our shopping mall.

You'll eye and sigh and then you'll buy

Scholastic folderol."

The eldest Jaco stared at him

But did not a word impugn;

The eldest Jaco shook his head

And raised his red harpoon.

Meaning to say, he did not choose

To leave the Jacocommune.

But n young Jacos hurried up,

All eager for the treat.

Their hair was brushed, their faces washed,

Minds filled with self-deceit.

And this was odd, because you know,

They'd heard of the Afreet.

The Walrasian and the Carpenter

Walked quick, yet serpentine;

And then they rested at a bank

Owned by a Zollverein.

And all the little Jacos stood

And waited in a line.

"The time has come," Walrasian said,

"To talk of many things:

Of zinc - and lead- and manganese -

Of mink and bargainings -

And why the market's boiling hot -

And whether bears have rings."

"But wait a bit!" the Jacos cried,

"Before we touch the door;

For some of us are out of breath,

And all of us are poor!"

"No hurry," said the Carpenter.

"We like esprit de corps."

"We'll buy your land, your oil, your gold,

Your cheap, skilled labor, thousand-fold.

Your lovely women, sable-stoled,

Shepherd them to our manifold.

The only law we must uphold

Is 'Prices fall on things unsold.'"

"But not our lands!" the Jacos cried,

Turning a little blue.

"After such kindness that would be

A dismal thing to do!"

"The day is fine," Walrasian said.

"Time for our rendezvous."

"It was so good of you to come,

Now cease your tiresome yapping,

There are no morals - good or bad -

In a Walrasian mapping.

The prices fall for one and all,

Consensus overlapping."

"We want justice!" cried the young,    

"Lest we lose our enamor;

The West is best; it passes the test!"

And they began to clamor.

The Carpenter said not a word.

He only raised his hammer.

"It seems a shame," Walrasian said,

"To play them such a trick

After we've brought them out so far

And made them trot so quick!"

The Carpenter said nothing but,

"We've just been politic."

"I weep for you," Walrasian said.

"I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out

Firms of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-hankerchief

Before his streaming eyes.

"O Jacos," said the Carpenter,

"You've had a pleasant run!

But you'll not Trotsky home again.

An answer came there none -

And this was scarcely odd, because

They  all knew who had won.