Eat, sleep, school, poo.


Journal number eighteen: Ugh!!!


3.26.05
1:43 AM. OK so Do Won and I aren't broken up. He just never checked his email. The unfortunate thing is that the whole time we didn't talk, I tried to justify all my hate towards him. Thinking about nothing but hate for a few days kinda twists the mind. Things will have to change, definitely. Or else someone's gonna get decapitated.
Going steadily insane. Getting paranoid. Becoming uber fashion conscious because spring is coming and I worry about my pants falling down below the hem of the shirt. That's just wrong. Especially on fat people, but especially me too because I'm hairy like a man.
I'm in a total state of wackzoid right now. I am leet. You have been pweezorbed. I've never laughed so hard in the past month besides when I heard that. Man. I miss my family. And I miss Khris. We should really call each other more often. But there's nothing much to say because we're always doing the same shit. Well, the restaurant occasionally has its moments, such as the beer fest one Saturday night. Damn. I still regret missing that. Oh. I'll be changing the web site perhaps. It's time to change journals anyway since it's already officially past spring.


3.25.05
Trying desperately to alleviate this bad mood.


3.24.05
The GSI's are striking all over campus, picketing in front of all the entrances to all the major buildings. Because of this, many classes were canceled and some kids just decided to not show up anyway feigning support for them. Why are they striking? They're fighting to maintain their health insurance coverage from the school as well as a decent wage. Earlier today you could hear them screaming all over, chanting, even singing. I only saw one sign. It said "Will Teach For Food." Har har. Anyway, it was hard to get in and out of buildings without being harrassed. It's probably why the Korean professor scheduled our class today in Starbucks. It didn't work too well though because it seems many other classes had the same idea. The place was so crowded it was hard to hear each other. On top of that, it was only 25 minutes which didn't allow for much productivity to occur.
Well, because of this strike, only 10 ( out of perhaps 20 ) people showed up to theater this morning. It was a pretty good time though. We had to "translate" a kabuki play into another genre such as Beijing opera, Kunqu, or Noh. My group got Noh. There were only three of us, and I think only one person actually read the whole thing. As Noh is a pretty boring and abstract show, we just decided to act out this "fight" scene. In Noh though, fighting would be shown abstractly through dance. Fans are used as swords or other weapons. So I made a fan out of a piece of paper for this other girl who "beat" me up with song and dance. It was entertaining to say the least.
Feels like the world is flying out of whack. At least it's sunny though. Snow yesterday, happy rays today. Pretty fortunate since we have to go outside for the botany lab today. Our GSI wrote us a heart-felt email explaining that he would picket in the morning, but come to lab later since we the undergrad students would be the ones really suffering by missing a "fun" lab and important information for the next exam. What a swell guy.
In bitter news, Do Won has not contacted me since our repartee online last Tuesday afternoon. Oh shit. I have to go to class. Lost track of the time.


3.23.05
It's snowing like a banshee outside. Everything is so beautifully depressing, I can barely contain myself. Breakup with Do Won seemed horribly imminent yesterday. For a while I couldn't bring myself to feel anything, but now this crushing weight is on my chest and can't be lifted. I wrote an email and apologized for how I've been acting. I've probably only called him a few times since spring break, if that. We're both pretty busy though... Anyway. Everything sucks right now and regardless of whether or not we're still together, it's still going to be difficult. My life has been a lose-lose situation quite frequently as of late.


3.21.05
Oh, it was the first day of spring yesterday. Why is it still so damn cold then? Arghhhh I'm in heeeeeell~~ Homework hell~~ I got acne busting out all over my forehead and chin because of this never-before-experienced level of stress I'm under. My face isn't a strawberry yet but . . . it was shocking to see those little gross bubbles inflating on my skin. Gross!!!!
Well anyway. Better get back to work. Yipee. How wonderfully mundane my life is!


3.20.05
11:39 AM. A gray morning. Buh. Taking a shower and going to school. If I stay in the house for much longer I'm gonna go totally whizack. Couldn't really sleep last night. I kept waking up every one or two hours in between crazy dreams.
Hope I didn't bug anyone last night. I think I had the stereo up kinda loud until 12. As the night wears on, I seem to become more and more deaf or something.
Oh, and finally. Things with Do Won seem so close to the end. He said he wouldn't call me for a while until we can sort things out. Well he called me last night and again this morning for no reason. Actually he called this morning to wake me up, but I was already awake and it isn't Monday. He can't remember that I'm a day behind . . . Well. We'll see how things turn out. I remember going through something similar to this in November.


3.19.05
7:58 PM. "For now it's just another lonely day." Dunno why but . . . life is very lonely. I haven't felt this empty for a while. It's too cold and rainy to go out. Inside though.. it's cold too. There is nothing. Where am I going to end up in four years? Even in two years? There are never any assurances. It's hard to live with so much uncertainty. I can't deal with it.


3.19.05
Sweet tomato, it's getting really late in the month. My doom is approaching! Doom!! DOOM!!! Still gotta write that comparison paper. Then a 7-page paper in April. Holy, holy crap man. Think I'm gonna die.
Right now someone put so many dishes in the sink they took mine out and left it on the counter. Why don't they . . . just . . . DO the dishes. Hmm. I went to the Korean store to buy ramyun. I thought I was buying the cup or bowl kind, but it was actually a 20 pack of the regular kind. And all my pots are dirty right now. How convenient. So I ate a hot dog, which was a bad idea. Two minutes after I ate one, I got a headache, not dissimilar to the headache I had on Monday. That's curious, isn't it? So I threw the other one away and just started eating some tortilla chips. Mm, chips are good. Man i think those people are here to look at the apartment!! Gotta go!!


3.18.05
UGHHH!!! Too much crap due all at once. And tomorrow the landlady is showing the apartments so I have to clean my damn room by 3. And my botany exam didn't go that well today. By the way, St. Patrick's Day sucks. : P


3.17.05
2:31 AM. The funeral was held today at 11 AM. We got there a little bit before it started so we could see grandma one last time before the casket was closed. It was too overwhelming to see her there without life in her body. She looked very much at peace though. The hardest thing to see though was grandpa, his eyes rimmed with red. And then to see my dad, who always seems to be this unfaltering pillar of strength, shaken. Towards the end of the lunch held after the service, Adam got the stuff out of the car and I gave it to grandpa.. the sweatshirt and cat toy. It looked really silly to bring out this bright yellow fuzzy thing on a stick, but there wasn't anything else to do about it. Well, I just promised him that I'd come back to visit him after I finished school. Then Adam and I left to go back to Ann Arbor.
Everyone's feelings are still very fragile of course. I hope with this finality though there can be rest and peace for everyone, especially grandpa.


3.15.05
1:43 AM. I had a headache from 4 PM to . . . 11 PM. That was pretty horrible. Then Khris called and my head started feeling better. Yay! As it turns out . . . everybody got beers . . . because the boss was gone to a wedding or something. She said he called and asked her in slurred speech to give the phone to the other guy who was in charge that night. I can't believe I missed the coolest day in restaurant history.
Oh yeah. I was tutoring this afternoon. At 4. When I got ther she didn't look too well. As it turns out, she had been cleaning her bathroom with a ton of clorox and her stomach started to feel funky. She at lunch anyway though . . . jja jang myun. And that made it worse. So I suggested we quit five minutes early. It was a good thing. On the bus ride home I felt incredibly nauseous and my head was going to explode. Suddenly my mouth started watering and I knew what that meant. I jumped off in front of my old dorm and followed some people inside and found the old bathroom I used to go to all the time that didn't have a key card lock on it. Sweet, sweet relief. Man, having headaches is such a pain.
Ah yes. I asked my Korean GSI about missing the quiz on Wednesday and she told me to email the professor. I was kind of bored and lonely, so I just decided to walk over to my professor's office and see if she was there. Indeed she was! And she said "long time no see" even though I'm in her class every Tuesday and Thursday. Hmm. Well, I started off with a few burning questions I had had about Korean for a while. Then I told her I needed to reschedule the quiz because of the funeral. Somehow after that the conversation was redirected toward third year Korean and what my plans were after graduation. Translator? Not a good idea after all. She also mentioned something about her nephews and mom coming to visit her and that she may need someone to look after that since her mom doesn't speak English. Or going to Lake Michigan together? Hehehe. Hehehehe. My Korean professor is very kind.. don't know what else to say about that. She also said she'd keep an eye out for scholarships if I do happen to study abroad next year. Hmm. Hmmm~
Sleepy now . . . zzz.


3.13.05 Part II
4:09 PM. Looks like I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon. The sun's been shining ever since I got up but nothing but acid's in my stomach. Mom said everyone's doing relatively all right though. Messed up.


3.13.05
Life is such an ephemeral experience, isn't it. This is one of those times when emotions suddenly come to a stop because something so mind-boggling has happened. In the final days before her death, it was impossible to imagine the suffering and anguish experienced collectively by the family. Now, the vigil has come to an end. Goodbye, Grandma.


3.11.05
TGIF man. Shit. Eunie ( as I like to call her in my mind ) told me about this multicultural festival thing at her dorm. There was a bunch of different booths featuring primarily snacks of different countries. She was holding up the Korean booth. I left after about 10 minutes because it was way too crowded and there wasn't enough oxygen. So I went over to the liberry for a while to finish my Korean homework, then came back to hear her "sing". She was in this group of about six girls who were doing this . . . this world rap or something. I feel as if I've heard it before. Pretty um, unique, haha.
Despite my determination to not call, I called Yujin to ask her if she still wanted to borrow the Family Guy DVDs. She said she didn't have time because she has a lot of exams coming up, but then she realized that I meant I wanted to lend them to her ( as opposed to watching all of them together ). Then she suggested eating lunch together on Sunday. There's always time for eating, isn't there? Didn't expect that though. Social situations make me so uncomfortable.
Last night, dad told me that they went to visit grandma at the hospital. Her tongue rolled back into her throat, resulting in a loss of oxygen which caused brain damage. So now she's in a coma that she probably won't wake up from. It's so strange to even imagine it because I just saw her over winter vacation. She seemed to be her usual self, talkative and everything. On the one hand, I wish I could go with the family to see her one more time, but on the other hand, facing death is too much. With the exception of my aunt, who I only met once in my life several years ago, no one in the family has passed away. It will be a struggle for everyone in the future.
The rest of the weekend must be spent concentrating on homework, however. The botany landscape project is due on Monday, the Korean assignment which I somehow finished is also due. Theater is the usual nightmare, especially with the two consecutive classes on Chinese coming up. There's always too much reading for that. Then on Friday I have the delayed botany exam which had originally been scheduled before spring break. After four weeks, classes will end and final exams will begin. A little scary. Bite the bullet.


3.10.05
Grandma's not doing too well.


3.9.05
Oooo, it's almost midnight! Guess my mom isn't going to call me back anymore eh . . . I had to come here last minute to finish a homework assignment. It wasn't really worth it because the one reading I had to open didn't have much information pertaining to my half of the assignment. Grrr~ I thought the lab here closed at 11:30 but it's 11:42 and the place is still pretty packed. Having been here for not that long, I decided to go visit everybody's Cyworld pages again. Everybody being . . . the only two people I really know with Cyworld pages. Damn them and their exclusiveness!! No, it's ok. I've made peace with that. Anywho, Do Won only seems to have female friends who leave him messages. Is it considered gay for guys to talk to other guys too much online or something? Or does he really just have a bunch of girl friends? Weird~ I called him earlier this evening ( his morning ) and he was just about to leave for school. Apparently he was packing his cute little brief case that he has to carry around instead of a backpack as it is an ROTC requirement or something. Aww. Makes me wanna sew elbow patches on his coat.
Well, I'm still majorly behind in theater, I have to finish that paper for botany because another paper is going to be due in a couple weeks, and . . . yeah that's about it for now, but more shit is on the way!!!
I'm kind of losing this enchantment with typing in Korean. As you may have noticed, this whole entry is (surprise!) in English. Without being able to converse in Korean with anybody, I feel like my efforts are in vain. Why? Because I have no idea if I'm putting these idiomatic phrases together correctly or not . . . if the word is actually used in daily conversation . . . it's a little frustrating. And when I do get the chance to speak in Korean, suddenly I'm stunned and stupefied to the point that either I can say nothing or very little. Bah. I better get back home before I pass out. Hope the snow stopped . . .
P.S. Hobak jook with honey doesn't taste as good as it sounds. At least not the premade kind in the little can.


3.8.05 Part II
너무 너무 서툴러. 우울해. 꽃무늬. 지랄하네. Just a lot of nonsense from a nonsense person. Oh, the weather outside is frightful . . . and I've got no ramyun. I went to the Korean store but they were already closed. Note to self: store closes at 8. Too early. Anyway, I'll have to go dig out some Smack ramen or have a soup or something at home. I wasn't hungry at all an hour ago but now I'm starving. And I'm stuck at the computer lab, a mile away from my house. How convenient. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. This is one of those moments where just giving up and falling into the gutters of society sounds not so bad. But I'm just bitter because it's cold.


3.8.05
Yes friends, winter is back like a loch ness monster asking for "tree-fitty." Should've walked over to the Korean store when it was still warm to get groceries. Well, now I just have to walk over there and return an icecube.
I checked my mail today. Lo and behold there was something in the box. And it was the best kind of mail there is: a check. For fitty dollahs from ACT for doing that retarded survey. Life is sweeeet. Now I'll have about $300 in the bank and can afford about 90 coffees.
I just spent the last 5 minutes calculating how much I should spend on coffee or how many coffees I should allot myself until the end of the semester. Whoa. Obsession. Money is best left for groceries and the like. Such as Shin Ramyun.
Hmm what to do what to do. Take a nap, then go to the store, then go to school OR take a nap, go to school, then go to the store? As you can see, the nap will not be delayed or ignored as my body is very weary. I actually paid attention to EVERYTHING in theater class today. This is the first time that's ever happened. I still haven't completely decided on which plays to compare for that paper that was due . . . a week and a half ago. Er. Oh well. The time will come now doubt. Grandiose plans are forming in my mind when it'll actually end up being a big smelly pile that the teacher will strike down with digital red ink, much like my last paper. Yes. Hmm.
Do Won called again this morning. Something about his nephew playing with a strawberry, then his mom taking it away, then his nephew wanted the strawberry again, so his mom got mad . . . It was hard enough to think of things to talk about before when we were face to face. Either that or I was too dizzy yet to properly ingest what he was saying and the incoherence was really my fault. Blaaah. Nappy time . . .


3.7.05
First day back to school. Successful. Woke up on time, got my ass out of bed and went to class a minute before lecture actually started. Wow. I came back from tutoring about half an hour ago. I was going to just straight up do some homework, but I somehow ended up on the exact same computer as last night . . . the computer that won't open the acrobat files. So I can't really remember everything. I'll have to do it at home. But for now, my stomach is horribly horribly empty and it demands that it be fed immediately. While I swore to myself that I wouldn't spend more than $20/week, this'll be just for this week . . . 비빔밥. 정말 사랑해. 먹어놓을거야. 무하하하하하!!
In other news, not much is going on. Sweet. Oh, except Do Won called me this morning before class. He was drunk of course and claimed that he could speak English very well, so we should discuss something very serious. Mm no. What a fart knocker ( haven't used that insult in quite some time ).
Oh wait. Last thing. I had been trying to get a hold of Hisato over break. I amazingly ran into him as he amazingly actually went to class today. Apparently I did leave my notebook at his apartment so he'll supposedly come to school again tomorrow and bring it with him. Yay.


3.6.05 Part II
11:42 PM. I am rewarded with a trip to school in that the computer lab is still open. AND I can type in Korean style apparently. I just never noticed that option before.
아... 외로워... 그리고 답답하다. I can't open an acrobat file on Ctools because my computer sucks or something. I wanted to print out a play and read it tonight so I can actually get the Tuesday assignment in on time. Then I still have two others assignments . . . hmm. This week is going to be tough, definitely. I gotta check the dates for everything. A lot of crap is due soon. Ahhh!! My life sucks a lot. And I gotta keep this shit up until April 28, which is when my last exam is I believe. Thaeter. Saving the most hellish one for last. Ugh~


3.6.05
Well I'm back in this lump of poop called Ann Arbor. Sorry to you who actually liked this place, but it's really not my style. Especially because of the fact that I can't drive and have no money. I didn't go to sleep until 5 AM last night because of necessary gaming, packing, and then a shower. It was about 4 when I took a shower. My legs were shaking beneath me the whole time so I knew . . . it was time to hit the hay. So little time to enjoy typing in Korean, playing video games, and watching Family Guy ( even though I've seen every episode a hundred times by now ). Dad woke me up at 9:30 this morning so I got a healthy 4 1/2 hours of sleep. The sick, twisted feeling in my stomach was reminiscent of my last two years of high school. Speaking of which, I took a picture on my phone from there. Soon as I get it I'll upload it.
Warm today. But the cold shall return, no doubt. Warmer weather would lighten my spirits somewhat, but then sweat isn't much to jump about either. Hmm. Wait, I was talking about this morning. Yes. Well we packed up and left around 10:10 which my dad counted as late. We stopped by a coffee shop to pick up some caffeinated goodies. The same guy that works there all the time struck up some conversation this time around. Someday, I should ask about him. Yes. Well we got our stuff and headed for the high road. We got here in about two hours, unloaded my crap into the amazingly somewhat fresher smelling house. Then we walked over to the ol' breakfast place on Main St. Chit-chatted for a while, then came back to the house. Dad was always interested in going to the Michigan store in the Union, but he didn't want to walk quite that for. So we said our farewells back at the apartment. We've had to say goodbye so many times that it got old, but today for some reason I feel especially melancholy. The room is just very empty now. I had already started to unpack but then got drawn away by the computer to write this entry. I should probably get back to that before I get too tired, then take a nap to rest up for a journey over to the fishbowl for a homework fiesta. Huzzah.


3.5.05 Part II
11:43 PM. Hehe. After work tonight, Khris bought us some stuff to eat. We brought it over to the bar. She had sushi and I had pan fried mandu. After that she had some red bean icecream or some such thing. We were smoking at the bar for a bit, then decided to go over to the little lounge area because were in the direct line of sight of too many people, including the boss. Well after that, the boss told us to make sure to rinse the ash tray out with water while simultaneously pulling a very grotesque face at us. Nobody knew Khris smoked, and apparently some people didn't know I did either. The boss was talking all incredulously with this other waiter who is a known smoker. That guy was saying something about how they were tall, strong, smart . . . haha. What a weirdo. Then the boss repeated what he said in this loud, sarcastic voice. Yeah. Good way to end the last day there. Being lazy and pissing off the boss.
Yes, well anyway. Food was good. But more homework still awaits me. I think I shall retire to the basement until the olds go to sleep. Then I must pack up my things in preparation for the move back to my stinky apartment tomorrow. 너무 슬퍼해... 여가 조금만 더 있으면 좋겠어. 그렇지만 방학은 이제 끝났네. What a melancholy feeling.


3.5.05
봄방학의 마지막 날입니다. 어떻게 해? 오늘밤은 일을 해야되고 내일 아침은 학교에 돌아오겠지. 나머지 숙제를 이따가 해야 되나봐. 기분이 안 좋아!!
Everything sucks. I stayed up until 3 AM last night trying to do my readings on bunraku, but by the time I got to the bunraku website which was the actual assignment, I was too tired to do anything. Gotta get to that now I guess. Whoa. Gotta go to work in 3 hours. Damn. Keeps getting better and better.


3.3.05
Times are rough man. Really rough. First off is the issue with housing. I have to get rid of my apartment for now over the summer months. I've been advertising since January and only now have I received someone interested at all, but they only wanted it for May and June which is the spring semester. My dad said . . . well, you wouldn't want them in there in August anyway because you'll want to move back in at the end. I thought . . . I'm not moving back there, am I? I was under the impression that I was going to rent for four months somewhere else, then go abroad for another semester or so to either Ewha or Yonsei depending on how the loans work. Another thing is that . . . going to Korea is a moot point. MOOT! URGHH!! 짜증나...


3.2.05
Man I am in theater hell. It's Wednesday night and I've only finished 2/6 overdue assignments. Mom's helping me work on another one. She said we'll go to a coffee shop tomorrow early in the morning and work on this with the laptop at our side. That should be interesting. Personally I enjoy reading on the couch with a blanket over me. The last assignment only took about an hour . . . well an hour to read and find the pertinent information, but then it took another half hour to get it into a readable form. Dad got mad at me for having taken this class in the first place even though I told him there weren't any others open and that I didn't know the format of this class was going to suck so much. Really, who can stare at a computer screen for 4 hours straight? And the Thursday assignments are a bitch because you've only got Wednesday to do them. Technically they post the assignments ahead of time, but it's impossible to get ahead unless you started out that way from the beginning. You miss one and it's curtains!
I'm still really obsessed with being able to type in Korean. I've changed my MSN ID about a billion times with various lyrics/vocabulary I've learned after checking out Bugs music. Good stuff.
Can't . . . take this!! RRR!! And then that five page paper . . . hoooooly shiiiiiiit. I thought I'd actually get good grades this semester and boost my GPA a little bit. Looks like it's gonna go for another tumble again.


3.1.05
피곤하네... 도원이랑 헤어질까? 싫어하지만.. 넘 힘들다. 눈물이 많이 흐르고. 그는 나를 두고 떠날까 봐 도원곁에 머물고 싶어. 하지만 그거 정말 나쁜 이유다. 부모님을 위해서 학교를 계속 다녀야지.. 암튼 이젠 숙제시간이다. 아.. 등이 벌써 아퍼..
Ok. For those who couldn't read the previous paragraph, I was basically saying in broken Korean that . . . well, I was complaining as usual. My dad gave me a talk today about how going to Korea was extremely unrealistic in terms of money, and that I basically can't go. However, he didn't want to say "you can't go" just because he didn't want to look straight up like a bad guy. If I could magically come up with 2-3,000, this may work itself out. I also have to continue school next year. For one semester at least. I won't be a junior until the winter semester so I can't even apply for a program until whenever the deadline for that is. Furthermore none of us know if there's any scholarship/loan money that can go toward that. Hmm.
Theater is kicking my ass just because sitting at a drafting table in a creaky chair isn't a very comfortable place to sit for 5 hours and read tiny, blurry words in an Acrobat file. Yes there's zoom, but the print gets worse and I have to scroll all over heck to read a single page.
Work was slow today. About 12-14 tables came in. Distributed among 3 servers, that's not very good. I saw one table's tip . . . they gave $4 for a $38 bill. Come on. Let's be a little more generous, huh? You're paying for your own darn social security buddy!!


2.28.05
12:36 AM. The last day of February. Then comes March, the long ass month. Not looking forward to being in Ann Arbor on St. Pattie's day. What a drunken riot that's going to be.
I pushed some buttons on my mom's computer and I can now type in Korean on here. 이봐. 이상하지... Kinda wish I had XP so I could do this at school too. Actually, if I fiddled around with the school computers . . . but then they might have all the settings locked along with everything else. Might as well give it a try though. That could be interesting. My journal entries might be bilingual in the future.
Shouldn't have told dad about the landscape project. He's getting way too into this. He's usually never involved in my school work affairs, but now he's butting in like it's his grade on the line. I should appreciate it though, he's taking some graph paper home for me tomorrow. He's also going to help me measure the property boundaries at some point. At least I'll have half that poo poo done before I go back to school. Then I have a whole week to write the report without feeling pressure. Theater on the other hand. Actually, there's no posted assignment for the first class after spring break. I better bust a move on those other six though. Damn. What the hell am I waiting for . . .
한국말만 공부하고 싶은데... 슬프다. ㅠ.ㅠ ( But I want to study only Korean. I'm sad. T.T )


2.27.05
3:09 AM. Last night ( meaning Friday) I was up until 4 AM. Why? Well, a lot of things happened along the way. Paul and I had already planned to hang out when I got home. He called while we were just pulling into town we figured on around 10. He and his girlfriend picked me up at my house. As usual, we went to Denny's. And as usual, the service was really slow and terrible. As my earlier dinner at Big Boy had been horribly insufficient, I ordered Moons Over My Hammy. We ended up staying there for a long, long time. Eventually Khris called Paul's phone. I wondered why she didn't call me first, but as it turns out she had. I just didn't hear it ring. Anywho, blah blah blah, Paul and Ellen get amiable towards the end. Finally we go up to pay. Plans are made to see Khris, so Paul drops me off at her house first where she is already cozy on the couch watching the original Batman movie with all that "pow kablam" stuff. Paul . . . takes his time, but eventually comes back. We watch some TV for a bit. Do Won called a couple times. Paul started making some cracks about . . . crack. Do Won seemed to be believing him, but we straightened that out. Anywho, it was about 2 AM already, so coffee seemed pretty out of the question at that point. Paul and I leave. As we're passing by our houses though, he changes his mind. So we go to a late-night coffee place nearby. Kinda dingy. I recalled being there before because my brother's band of long ago had played there. Anywho, we chit chat for a bit, shootin the shit as usual. Till 4. Who needs alcohol when you're sleep deprived?
This morning at 8:30, my niece and nephew arrive because my brother had to finish some school stuff. I slept through it until about 12 at which point my bladder was a pretty driving force getting me out of bed. By that time, mom and dad's patience was already running slightly thin as my nephew is extremely active and asks too many questions and my niece seems to have something of a princess complex as of late. By about 3 they were happily dressed up in winter garb and driven out to pick up Aaron, then brought back to their house. By about 4:30, I had to leave for work. WORK. Eww. It didn't go too badly. There were too many new faces to remember for 4 shifts, but all seemed like good people. I have no idea how much I made though as nobody had cash by the time I left. It's all good. Let the cash grow~
Khris had apparently amassed a small wealth of mistakenly made food. We absconned with it and brought it back to her house where we consumed it. The wanton soup had only two wantons, and I wasn't too appreciative of the sesame oil in the broth, but it was food. Good food. Food that doesn't come from a can. We were planning on coffee afterward but it was getting late and my parents don't appreciate their car being out past decent hours. My suggestion was that we meet up at the Korean church, well, Korean school for me, and then we'll go hit up the cafe. After that I can pick up the pictures that Do Won told me to develop. Damn, I hope it's not too much. I got doubles. One roll was 24, the other was 32 exposures.
Ah yes. And then tonight. I was watching Comedy Central's Secret Stash thing. They were showing Chris Rock at the Apollo Theater or something. I never saw his act before but holy sweet funny, it was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen in quite some time. It was kinda dated I think though . . . 1999, but that's ok. Race and gender jokes are timeless, aren't they.
After tomorrow afternoon, no more horsing around. It's time to do that theater homework. Ass: In Gear!


2.25.05
So death will come slowly but surely. Some good news. I emailed my theater teacher. He informed me that, contrary to all logic, only half a grade is subtracted for lateness for every homework assignment. This means there's no real incentive to get things in right away, even if the due date is past. So basically, if I can do really well on those assignments, I might be able to still get by with a B or something. Then I can do that stupid 5-page paper too. It seems like there's no real requirements besides just trying our best. I think that's all they can really expect of us because they continuously throw out a massive amount of information, jump around thousands of years, and switch between Japanese and Chinese theater all the time. How can we keep it straight? He remarked that he had been concerned about my failure to turn in assignments. So. He knows who I am. Not good. But after spring break, I hope to get all this poo poo sorted out. That and the landscape project. There are too many things to accomplish.
1. Theather is ueber alles.
2. Botany landscape project, although if I run out of time, I just need the yard measurements and a big piece of posterboard.
3. Renew my passport, just in case.
4. Develop Do Won's pictures. Why do I have to?? $$
5. Buy a Broken Social Scene CD. I've been itching to get one for a while.
Oh, and yeah. Work. Three would be optimal, but I have a feeling I don't want to be jerking my boss around. Unless . . . Khris can really get me a job during May-June at the greenhouse. Despite the fact that it's minimum wage and blistering hot, there isn't much too it and you can sort of come and go as you will. Sounds good to me. Better than sweating it out at the restaurant where crying employs are yelled at, then laughed at. Hmm. Well, better start packing up. I'm leaving in a few hours. Man. I feel kinda lonely. Jealousy rears its ugly head . . .


2.24.05
Heh. Killing time at the fishbowl. Luckily I got a computer. Now I'm just waiting for the bus for Botany lab. I hope there isn't another surprise exam.
Just for the hell of it, I decided to go to Do Won's web page again to see if anything was going on. Yujin left a message. Amazingly, I understood every single thing she wrote. She just wanted to say that she hoped he got there OK... that it was amazing that only yesterday he had been in Ann Arbor and now he's in Korea... that she tried to call me a couple nights ago but I didn't pick up. She said she's a little worried so she wants him to call me or something. I already told him about that though. Once again. People don't think I know what's going on. But I do~
Hungry. I ate a lot last night and was pretty full, but now I'm starving again. I even cooked some rice but I didn't eat any of it. The kernels are starting to look funky, although it's probably my imagination since rice doesn't exactly get old. At least not very quickly. So I'll eat it after I get home. But damn. I don't want to wait another 4 hours until dinner . . .
Last night I managed to finish the one assignment for today, but I did NOT do anything about the 5-page paper. In class there were several people missing as usual, so the teacher decided that perhaps it was time to start calling roll again since students so frequently miss his class. It's true. All you really have to do is submit the assignments online, do the readings online. There's no reason to go to class unless you do have some sort of intrinsic interest in Chinese/Japanese theater. Well, now there's a reason to go again.
I neglected to ask the teacher if it was still worth it to do the late assignments. Perhaps it would've been wise to do that in person . . . pull a puppy face or something. Oh well. Guses I'll just ask.
Damn, I'm really, really hungry. Think I'll have to get something before it's too late. Oh, but before I go. Last night Do Won told me online that his mom heard about the crazy rumors from his host mom . . . who in turn heard it from this "retard" barber shop woman. I dunno what the hell's going on with that exactly, but he said his mom was pissed and will not allow him to ever go back here in the future. So he's decided to claim independence and go back on his own money. And even if he doesn't make enough, he said he'd send it to me. Something tells me no money is going to be made. He hasn't had a job yet a day in his life and I don't think he's gonna get one in the near future because of his studies. Anywho, despite all my rage and fury against him, he remains as a kitten, so it's hard to stay mad. That's just not my personality. Staying angry causes me many a headache and too much acid in my stomach anyway. Life is still poo poo, but at least it's not acidy poo poo.


2.23.05
12:02 AM. I've been consulting with people today. Mom, Khris, and Paul. Khris doesn't usually give out much in the way of opinions, but mom seemed to be edging towards breaking up with him, and of course Paul has been suggesting all along that I promptly break up with him. This all centers around the issue of language. It's really nobody's fault, there's just many misunderstandings along the way ( although I'd like to think that Do Won is just plain dense when it comes to other people's feelings anyway ). Now I have to write a few papers for him to prove to his dad that he did some studying here, although he never really went to class. If given the choice, he should not come back here next winter since his presence has caused me to be permanently fucked in my theater class. I just discovered that I have a 5-page paper due this Thursday. We just have to compare two plays, one Chinese and one Japanese. Since I haven't been doing my homework all this time, I have no idea how I can critically contrast/compare them. My spring break is also fucked. I have to work. Who knows how many days my boss will want to assign me. Khris has informed me that the bitchiness is getting worse over there. There's no way in hell that I can work there for two months after school is done. Right now I just feel like my life is a worthless lump of shit.


2.22.05
1:39 AM. Do Won is leaving for Korea at 6:30 this morning. He waited too long to reschedule his flight. He has some military things to attend to anyway when he gets back. I had to call the airline for him several times over three days to see if any seats opened up, but there was nothing. Probably because so many students are going back to Korea since their winter break is over.
For three days I've been crying. I could feel that loneliness creeping up on me again. After this afternoon though, when we went to meet Yujin for the last time together, I thought that everything was going to be OK. And things were OK for a while. She drove us to Best Buy first, then to Meijer so that Do Won could pick up some last minute things for himself and his nephew. I got a few groceries too as long as we were there. Finally we went to a restaurant to eat dinner. They spoke in Korean the whole time we were there. Normally I'd get pissed because we can't all talk together, but I didn't care. Suddenly I realized that Do Won was trying to make a play date for me with Yujin. Then he said "chingu ga upsuh" which means "she doesn't have friends." That pissed me off. First off, they're all making plans and talking about me. I'm sitting right there. He talks as if I don't understand anything he's saying, so he can say anything about me in front of me. Second of all, he just declared to her that I have no friends so she should take it upon herself to do some pity work and hang out with me. He might as well just say that I'm stupid and a loser. Tears started to come as I was emotionally unstable anyway. Yujin was like, "Oh, you understand??" I nodded. Then she knew right away. So she said, "Oh, he's a bad boyfriend!" Do Won had no clue what was going on. I had to spend the next few minutes choking back angry words. Then we left.
Yujin stopped in at another restaurant to say hi to her friend. Do Won couldn't understand why I was pissed so he just said, "I'm sorry, Anna!" I said he embarrassed me and that he was stupid. He still didn't get it. Anyway, Yujin drove me back to my house. Do Won came up. I tried to explain to him again, but he, for the life of him, just couldn't get it. He just tried to hug me, but I didn't. This would be the last time I'll see him for the next 4 1/2 months. Nevertheless. I was pissed.
He called about half an hour ago. He said he finally understood because Yujin explained it to him in the car. That just infuriated me more that she, who's sort of in the middle of this, had to spoon-feed him my feelings. This is probably we we had so many spats over the course of the month. Anyway. I just cried. I didn't imagine we would part like that, especially since the last couple days had been going relatively well.
Spring break starts this Friday. My boss' wife called me earlier today apparently and said that they wanted me to start on Friday at 5. Unfortunately that's when I'm getting picked up. So this Saturday, I'm back to work. And no doubt I'll be back again once school is over because I need money like what. Going back to Korea is imperative for me. I just hope before then Bethany will finally give me a damn call and tell me what's going on with my younger biological brother. Jae Soo. I've been waiting for 5-6 weeks now and still no word. The last time I called she said that I should just wait, that they're working on it and that they'll call me. No word on any approximate date. Ugh. It better be his eighteenth birthday coming up soon, or else we can all just assume they're slow as hell over there.
Ah yes. Do Won needs to prove to his dad that he actually went to class ( although he didn't ). One of his classes was for composition. He wrote one draft and he's supposed to have ten papers done. Guess who gets to write five for his dad? Yes. What about those six theater assignments I didn't do? Huh? I'm pretty much screwed for a while catching up on all this homework crap whether it's mine or not.
So what does it boil down to? I'm still glad he was here. Even though we fought a lot, I still knew he'd be around the corner. Someone there. It was worth the time. Things will get back to their dull routine as the semester wears on.


2.18.05
I took my narcissus galilee home from the gardens yesterday. I didn't notice it there because it smells earthy everywhere, but this plant really, really stinks. It's filling my room with odiferousness. If that's even a word. Hm. Yes well. I got my tax return. Suddenly my bank account is filled with $354.35. I thought the federal was only 290, unless I got the state simultaneously somehow. Weird. But cool. Yesterday I skimped on the groceries because I could only buy $24 worth. Next time though . . . I'm getting stuff. Good stuff. Like cookies.
As for now though, there's nothing to eat for lunch except for rice, kimchi, and one cup of shin ramyun, but I've been eating that shin ramyun for the past three days. It's probably burning a hole in my stomach.
Ugh. My mood is steadily lowering the longer I sit here. Why? Because as I write, dishes are made for me to wash. And a movie is playing that I didn't and won't get to see. But it's Friday. And Friday is pay day. And next week Friday I'm going home for spring break. Hm. Hmm. Melancholy. But irritated none the less. What am I talking about? You cannot know!!


2.16.05
How was Valentine's Day? At first, it was quite uneventful. The night before we had drunk a bit of something. I don't remember. Or maybe just Do Won drank. I think we played a card game and he kept losing. He told me some secret stuff. Like about . . . RJ . . . yeah. Grr. Anyway. V-Day. I went to class. Came back. He tried to make some weird Omurice ( rice omelette ) but it didn't turn out very well. Then I had to leave really quick to go to tutoring. Buh. I came back with a pineapple. What a cute little fruit. Yes, well. Do Won was there watching Bebop or something. I'm not really sure what happened after that but, I got into a bad mood again. Then he was like . . . OK, I'll go. So he got all ready to leave, but I told him to stay after all. After that, we had fun. We went to get a movie, went to the arcade to play pool and DDR, then we got a pizza at Papa John's. We got "Hero" and "Nowhere to Hide," a Korean movie. I thought they were both going to be dumb, but they were actually all right. The Korean one was pretty funny actually. Go green apple smirnoff!
Yesterday, despite quite the downpour, we ventured outside at night to go to the Korean store. There are two stores in A2. I knew where one was, but the other I wasn't sure about. Do Won was pretty sure it was close by. So we looked and . . . lo and behold, there it was. Practically right across the bridge, a 10 minute walk. So when I have money, I'm going to the Korean store every week. Or day. Depends. I can't believe I didn't know it was so close earlier.
After getting back to my house, Do Won left for his home. On the way home he just reminded me that he was leaving next week. What a poo poo head. My parents are picking me up for spring break the same day he's leaving. I'm glad I'll be home at home for a week instead of feeling lonely in my apartment. But still. When I get back here in March, life's gonna be hell. March through June. But what's four months compared to five?


2.12.05
I didn't go to sleep until 5:30 last night. I woke up around 1, then called Do Won's host family's house in a fury because he said that he was coming here in the morning. He was like . . . yeah uh . . . let's me in front of Starbucks. And now that I think of it, there are two different places he could be at. Damn you Starbucks and your omnipotence! Man. The clock on my computer froze last night. It read 1:10 when it was actually 3, but I didn't notice the time go by. For the first time ever, I had been doing homework. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't know what hour it was. Even when I finished though, I still wasn't tired, but hunger was biting at my stomach. So what . . . I busted out yet another Shin Ramyun. That stuff must be eating me alive by now. Then I retired to bed to watch a few episodes of Cowboy Bebop for some reason.
The laundry is screaming at me to be washed, but unfortunately there is no time now. Actually, I have to meet him in 35 minutes. Before that though, I need to drop off a very late letter to my birth mom at the post office. Hopefully they don't close too early on Saturdays . . . It's so short. It's hardly even worth mailing, but something should probably be said.
Nothing much else going on these days. Just a cycle of school, ( not ) doing homework, anger, happiness, pennilessness, coffee, and sleep. Sigh . . . Severely burnt out . . .


2.10.05
After a brief heatwave, the weather's reverted back to snow and ice. How wonderful.
I went to the mall on Tuesday with Do Won to buy some new pants. Got them at Forever 21 for $24. They're all right. Why is it that all my jeans these days need to be washed in cold water? Are they really so sensitive? Wussies.
Life's always going up and down and now it's down. Hungry. Bored. Cashless for the moment. I'm not going to get my tax return for a while yet so I have to save the little bit from my last check that's in the bank. Bluh. I wanna go home to eat but I have to stay here and do some damn theater homework for a while. I either need a new computer or I should live in the fishbowl for the next 2 1/2 months.


2.8.05
Yes, rice and kimchi is quite the good snack. Mmm mm. Only problem: my tongue is on fire and my face is sweating at every pore.
So we're back in Ann Arbor of course. It's Tuesday. Everything's cool. As it turns out, I'm getting $293 from my tax return. Mom did it for me this time. My job is to do the renewal FAFSA. Anywho, that'll be coming in a couple weeks. As for now, I deposited most of my work check at the bank yesterday, plus I got my $20 from tutoring. So now I have $41 in my wallet. I was planning on going to the mall today because the zipper came off my favorite pair of jeans. Suck. Hopefully after class I won't be too tired. Woo whee.
Do Won's quite the bean. Quite. Well yes. Time to take a nap before botany section.


2.5.05
Guess what. I'm in Grand Rapids with Do Won. We took the bus at 3 yesterday and arrived here around 8. It was quite the harrowing journey. We were trapped in stinky Kalamazoo for about an hour and a half. We killed some time by consuming potential heart-attack causing food for half an hour, then we spent the rest of the time in the station. It was so weird. There was this girl from my psych section last semester on the bus. She also went to Grand Rapids. Or somewhere. We didn't say anything to each other so we could avoid potential weirdness for many an hour.
When we arrived in Grand Rapids, nothing was familiar. Apparently they had moved the station without telling anybody. Fortunately the new location was just around the corner from the old one so my parents didn't have too much trouble finding us. Yay. Well, we went home. Last night was pretty bad though since I called the IRS finally. We've all pretty much come to the conclusion that I already received my $169 last year and that nothing more is coming to me. So that means I'm a lot poorer than I thought I was. All right. Well at least I got my check from work finally. $68. That'll keep me afloat for about . . . two days.
Today. Hm. The majority of the day had been driving around with Paul. How did that happen? I dunno. He just got into the car without much ado. We went to Meijer and got rid of all my coins. Paul bought some boot laces. Then we went to . . . Seoul Garden to see Khris. She said she'd call me when she's done with work. That should be around 9-10 hopefully. Then we'll all go and see Paul I guess. The whole crew's supposed to go to Denny's or some such. Well, I better be off, but I'll be BACK BIOTCH.


2.2.05
3:38 AM. Yeah. Can't sleep. It's either too hot or too cold. Got a head ache. And other factors are involved. At any rate, it's making it impossible to sleep. Annoying. I'm gonna be groggy as hell tomorrow, I can tell you that much for sure. Sleep has been somewhat elusive lately. No wonder I can't do my homework.


2.1.05
Hmm. February. Choclatey.
I'm down to my last few dollars with only a $20 a week income. I was supposed to get like an $80 tax return, $50 or so from my last pay check, and I will be getting $50 for doing a survey for ACT ( but not for another three weeks ). Where is my money??? The first two sources previously listed were supposed to come to me a LONG ASS TIME AGO. It's a little scary that I may never see that money.
Hmm. Hopefully some studying will occur today. In fact, I think studying WILL occur today. How exciting. I can't wait!


1.30.05
Do Won's birthday was almost a success. Well, he seemed happy anyway. We went to Meijer in the early afternoon. We spent about 2 hours there just looking around for crap. School supplies, food, more food, and more food. We ended up with a pretty big cartload of crap that we had to carry back to my apartment. That included a large, unweildy 5 pound bag of rice and a 12 pack of Pepsi along with an assortment of canned soup. So we got on the bus and went back. Man. That was a long trip . . . walking along the street. Fortunately it wasn't that cold. Do Won had only invited Yoo Jin so far, so I called Duk Hyun. At first he said that he had just been sleeping when I called him earlier, but then he said he was too busy to come. I said I'd do his homework for him so he could come over, but he just laughed heartily and said no. Oh well. So Do Won and I started cooking a bunch of crap. He made sandwiches by cooking roast beef, cutting up some mozzarella slices, and scrambled some egg. Then he put it all on toasted bread. I just made macaroni with some pieces of hot dog. Then we heat up chicken noodle soup. Ah yes, there was a honeydew melon in there. Add rice, kimchi, and alcohol, and there it was. I had been planning on getting him a cake earlier, but it turned out he didn't want one anyway so. Yeah. Yu Jin couldn't stay long because she had a bunch of stuff to study. Mid terms coming up and all. So she left. Do Won and I just kinda fell asleep. Actually he fell asleep and I talked to Adam online, seeing as how he had just bought a new laptop with a wireless card in it. So he was over at mom and dad's playing around with it. Oh, and mom and dad were gone to some inn with a jacuzzi for mom's birthday that was earlier this week. They're probably back by now.
This morning, Do Won cleaned up all the dishes and I heated up the left over macaroni. We used up the rest of the eggs for scrambled eggs, got some toast together, heated up the rice in the cooker, and of course, busted out the kimchi. Afterward he ate some gerber baby food concoction and I had a cup of apple sauce for dessert. Oo. Ooo!! The gettin's been good lately. And I'm a thousand times happier because my room isn't such a god-forsaken mess anymore. The future looks brighter these days.


1.28.05 Part II
So am I bipolar? Borderline? Nah, not borderline . . . my behavior isn't consistent with all people like that. Bipolar . . . it's not really an up and down thing. It's more of a happy-to-pissed-and-back type of thing.
Well, one thing that surprised me and made me happy was that the woman who I tutor gave me a bag of fruit and cheese. Mozarella and cheddar! Jackpot! So yes. I will happily eat it.
Hmm. Yes. Too lazy to write more. I just wanna eat and be merry. And I have a shopping list to make. Foooooood.


1.28.05
Yeah. Last night was bad. Then good. Then this morning was OK, but it turned out bad. Then I went to school. When I came back, I found that Do Won had actually cleaned my room. It makes me feel a lot happier. That was part of the problem . . . the room was always a mess and it made my mood worse because I kept tripping over his shoes and backpack. I looked in the rice cooker and I guess he made some because there was a little bit left over. I ate it ( cold ) with kimchi. We're supposedly meeting down by the arcade after I get back from tutoring, but maybe we won't. Don't know. At any rate, I feel kinda bad because he's taking the brunt of all my mood swings. The cause of them though are things that he does but can't really stop. If I could explain it more clearly, I would, but I don't even understand why I get so pissed sometimes.
Anyway, it's almost time to go tutor. Yay weekend. Time to chill the hell out.


1.26.05 Part II
8:41 PM. I'd give it two days or so. Then I'll just have to kill myself.


1.26.05
1:15 AM. For the first time since last August, I exchanged words with Sunny. Man, that was so crazy. Apparently she's studying in Seoul now. Gotta look her up if I go there next summer . . .
Dude. So bored. Stuck here doing homework. Do Won's snoring and it's bugging the hell out of me. RRR!! Must . . . control . . . fist . . . of DEATH!!
Damn, I don't have the patience for anything anymore. All this homework is piling up. In theater, that's definitely NOT A GOOD THING because now I got about 400 pages of reading ahead of me this week. ARGH!!!!!!!! KILL ME NOW!!!!


1.22.05
Half-lit boredom. There was this really annoying high-pitched whine in my room. I thought it was coming from the TV or computer, but it turns out it was a light bulb that was on its way to death. Now my room is funkily lit and it's bothering the hell out of my eyes. In addition to that, I'm bored, tired, irritable, and have a hell of a lot of homework I should be doing but can't ( because I'm tired and someone's sleeping in my bed as usual dammit ). Wanna go out and clear my head but I can't. I'm trapped in my house.


1.21.05
I'm full of cheesy rice. How disgusting. This would be better with some corn in it to lighten it up, but it's better if the rice is refridgerated for a little while.
It's so damn cold outside that I can't feel my extremities at all after 5 minutes. They're just blocks of ice hanging off my body. How horrible.
Ugh. Stomach. Ughhhh.


1.20.05
I'm starting to think that I do seriously have some weird social/psychological problems. These inexplicable mood swings. I missed Do Won so much during the past five months. I thought about him everyday. Now that he's here though, sometimes I feel resentful of his presence. Maybe things just aren't turning out the way I thought they would. Besides that, I've grown accustomed to living in total solitude and being completely independent of all others. Now I'm trapped in this weird class situation, I have to tutor 3 times a week, and I'm on a weird sleeping schedule. All of it is messing with my once stable mind. Wanna go home . . .
On a lighter and completely unrelated note, I had botany lab today up at the gardens again. For some random reason, they had us collect dead plants out in a little field and then put them in a juice jar they told us to bring for a winter bouquet. No reason. Mine looks pretty sad and retarded. Then for this group project, we transplanted a couple of little plants ( a wandering jew and a . . . plectrant . . . hus . . . austra . . . lis or something ) and took them home in a baggie. We have to record how we take care of them everyday and see whose plants turn out the best. So basically, what do plants like and what they don't like ( i.e. kills them ). I feel bad for them because I'm the one that's taking care of them. Hopefully this time, if anything, I'll underwater them.


1.19.05
Holy crap. How can I keep up with my homework when in one class they assign nearly 200 pages of reading per week with assignments? What the hell? Then Do Won's always around. It seems his friends are bored in Ann Arbor too, so there isn't that much to do. I can't entertain him though because I got a bunch of shit going on. It's worse than last semester even though I'm taking one less class. For the first time ever, I MUST attend EVERY lecture and section AND turn shit in on time or else my grade's gonna suffer like hell. The homework itself isn't that hard. It's just all this damn reading in theater. What a nightmare. UGH!!
I woke up this morning and called Bethany. As it turns out, the lady who was supposed to contact me didn't even know that she was supposed to contact me because once again, Holt messed up. All she got was this really ambiguous message asking who she should contact within Bethany. There was nothing furthre about me and my situation. Idiots. Well anyway I filled her in and she said she'll get back to me in a couple days. Hopefully I can find something out. Whee. Wouldn't that be exciting.


1.18.05
The weather sucks. Makes the nose hairs freeze seems like. Hmm. I wish some people would visit me. But of course nobody wants to go outside these days. The Starbucks giftcard refill my mom gave me will probably disappear quickly again. It's like the arctic out here man.
I need to restock on some groceries. Not much. Maybe just some hotdogs and KETCHUP that I left at home. Now it's in mom's fridge. I don't remember why . . . oh yeah. We had to take it home because mom turned the temperature in the fridge here way down so the frozen stuff in the freezer would melt. ( She was cleaning the Pepsi explosion out of there. )
Well. I was thinking of taking a nap or something, but it looks like Meijer or the floor is in my future. Horrible. Horrible.


1.16.05
Holy . . . holy CRAP!!! Did I just get a job as an English tutor for $10/hour??? SWEET LORD I DID!!! I was in such a bad mood recently because I thought I got beat out, like the last 25 times, by the competition. But hey, things are going my way for a change. Wow. Wow wow wow. Well, I better not get my hopes up TOO much because things can always go wrong but. Man. This is pretty cool. As of now, it seems like I won't have to worry about eating in the future!


1.15.05
Do Won is finally here. It's like a weird fantastical dream. Hmm. We drank coffee at Starbucks, ate lunch at a Korean restaurant, then took a bus back to my apartment. He thought the house looked kinda ugly on the outside, but thought it was ok inside. I have a mini-fridge afterall. He came like a wiseman, bearing gifts of crazy Artbox brand notebooks, a big package of neoguri brand ramyun, and a bottle of soju. Wow. He packs very well. Hehehe.
Being able to finally talk in person seemed to stimulate a lot more conversation. Usually on the phone there wasn't that much to say but now we can talk about shared experiences since we're making happy new memories together now! Awww~ Hopefully we can go to a botany lecture together. He can see what it's like to sit through a Umich lecture in an old-ass lecture hall. Hehe. Wow, I'm giddy.


1.14.05
Hmm. Doing all the laundry right now. Bit nervous. Maybe I should be doing some homework to alleviate my awkwardness. In one or two hours, Do Won should be in Ann Arbor, or Detroit at least. Not sure. Hmm. Hmm. Wonder what I should wear tomorrow. Man. Weird. Weird weird weird. Dunno what to do with myself.


11.13.05
12:09 AM. I'm debating whether or not to take a shower. I guess I have to step foot into the bathroom anyway to brush my teeth but MAN! It stinks like ALL HELL in there!! It's bad enough that the toilet's plugged, but those guys just urinate on top of it anyway. That's so damn disgusting it makes me ill!! So my option is to just go to sleep and feel like poo, or take a shower in a room that smells strongly of nasty. It's worse than shit, which makes me wonder what the heck they tried to flush down it. Sharing a bathroom with guys is so gross. Well. I do have some spray, but I have a feeling that the battle with the toilet odors will be short-lived. Hmm. Gotta make a decision soon though. Tomorrow's my 10 o' clock class. Ugh. UGHH!!
Do Won's coming on Friday, though it seems like Friday will never come. I should probably be savoring the suspense, but as I feel frozen in time, well, it's hard to get excited.


11.11.05
All's well that ends well. After checking CTOOLS every ten minutes last night, I finally got an e-mail that said the due date for today's assignment will be delayed until tomorrow night. But then, we have another assignment due tomorrow night too. But it's not that bad. Something about writing a few paragraphs. Anywho . . . yeah. Right now I'm in between classes. It's 1:31 PM and I have a bio section at 3. How inconvenient. Mom suggested that I just go to the lab and start doing my homework. Last night I was pretty keen on the idea, but after getting a mere 6 hours of sleep it didn't seem like such a good idea. So I'm home now wearing my comfy slipper socks and looking at the chilly scene through a well insulted window. Yes, life is good indoors.
My current messenger ID is "I (heart) Do Won ^^" which may not have been an excellent choice to keep on for an extended period of time seeing as how my mom is on there and it's embarrassing, but whatever. Everyone knows now.
My cold is ending, but in such a fashion that everything is hardening up into goobers in my throat. How deliciously disgusting. Hope you weren't eating when you read that.
Anywho, I'm gonna chillax until 2:30. See you later. Oh by the way. He got his visa and he'll be here very, very soon. But he doesn't sound very enthusiastic. Wonder why.


1.10.05
DARN YOU COURSE TOOLS TO HECK!!! Why put ALL the homework on one website that has questionable availability? Right when I need it, the site goes down! Geez. The teachers will probably say I should've done it earlier. But I couldn't! My computer is poopy and apparently so are Umich's servers. So now I gotta go back at night and get 12 readings done and turn in my homework before midnight. I'll have to BS this one and just find the first five quotes that I come across. Oh well. All I can say is, CTOOLS better be up by the time I go back to campus or else I'm gonned be pissed beyond all sanity. I've already missed the first homework assignment in Korean.
Hmm. Do Won called last night. He said that after he finished the visa interview, he went to see "The Incredibles" by himself. Aww. Korean guys don't like going with other guys, and if he went with a girl, he figured I'd be jealous. He did that last time anyway, but I think it was with his cousin. Well, at least he got to see it. Before I went to see "The Life Aquatic" with mom over Christmas break, the last time I saw a movie at the theater in the U.S. was quite a while ago. Maybe a little over a year ago? February? Something like that. It always smells funky and I get headaches if I sit in the dark staring at that giant screen for too long. No bathroom breaks either. Therefore, watching movies at home is better.
Here I am eating easy mac in my unlit room listening to Broken Social Scene again. Just kinda mulling over my school situation. This time last year, I was probably at work hating my life but at the same time looking forward to seeing Do Won practically ever weekend. The snow here in Ann Arbor is irritating but not totally unbearable. Taking the bus more often would probably make life nicer, if only I utilized that nice, free option. The only problem is that it stops at either 4:30 or 5 . . . maybe 5. Except on Friday . . . they keep running till 11. Why am I writing about this?
13 credits. Pretty low. Keep looking for a job. My bank account is suffering. But I want enough time to spend with Do Won when he gets here. I hope everything turns out OK . . . I don't wanna live without chicken and bibimbap . . .


1.9.05
Trying to get myself in the mood for eating. I considered going to church this morning but I didn't go to sleep until 5 AM last night so . . . that was sort of out of the question. There were some guys hammering on a house since 9 AM too so that disrupted my sleep as well. They've been going at it ever since. Now it's 2:38 PM. But yeah. Eating. I'm trying to envision a delicious soup that I can eat while at the same time trying to work up the energy to get my clothes downstairs for laundry. If all of this is completed in a relatively timely manner, I may strike out for my ritual Sunday coffee. Hmm.
Do Won actually called me last night, but I was in the shower at the time, so I called him back. He seemed to be in good spirits. He was at school studying though, so he was outside the whole time we were talking getting cold ( unbeknownst to me at the time, I thought he went near the bathrooms or something ). Anywho, his visa interview is tomorrow. He has to go to the U.S. embassy. Kind of a scary place. I think there are a bunch of soldiers with guns standing around the gates. But yeah. I'm hyped, and I hope he is too. The only thing is that he'll probably be staying with his host family again. He always had to walk from their house to campus which is a good 45 minute walk. Or there's a bus I guess, but I don't imagine it picks up/drops him off very close to wherever he needs to go. He said his mom surprised him that morning saying that he should go to some school near Berkley, but he said he wanted to go to Michigan still. Man. His parents are scary. They just wanted him to have a diverse U.S. experience or something. But I told him Californians are dumb anyway, hahaha. Come on, they have Schwarzenegger for a governer.
Still thinking about that soup. Yeah. I should get down there before someone else invades and takes over the washing machine . . . Oh. Yes. And many sympathies for Paul whose car got broken into last night. Some thugs took $100 worth of groceries that he had JUST bought at Meijer. Sucks. A lot.


1.8.05 Part II
Did I do a boo boo? Did I just email that bio question to an entire group of people, and not just prof E? Uh oh. UH OH!!!! Well anyway, I'm still not getting an answer either way. Sucks.


1.8.05
Certain songs bring back fond memories of how I, as a child, envisioned the future to be. Usually it's a chilled out ambient track, such as the one I'm listening to now. What a touching, yet fleeting moment it is, to remember the sweet innocence and hope of a six year old on a quiet, starry night.
And then we are jolted back to reality, the one in which I must leave my apartment in a daze and go buy a book, maybe a coffee if I find an ATM nearby. Man. Life's all about those little sprinkles of happiness, but it's so hard to get back to the hustle and bustle of other unpleasantness. Sometimes it's just nice to sit back and get lost in some sentimental wave of nothingness. It's like a brain massage. Hopefully, I don't fall asleep in the next 10 minutes because I'm sorely tempted to.
After class yesterday, I stopped by the bookstore for a delicious coffee and to look around for Do Won's birthday present. His is on the 29th of this month. I should really be thinking about Mom and Adam's since their birthdays are earlier ( and coincidentally within 3 days of each other ) but . . . hmm. I dunno. Anywho, I actually managed to pick something out. Hopefully it's a little more popular than last year's gift.
Now off I go to buy the gardening book . . . whee. ( 3:12 PM -_- )


1.6.05
Two hours. Two hours with no break. The most boring class ever. Noooooooooooooooo!!! I should probably be frantically searching wolverine access for other classes that have opened up, but I'm the type of person who stays resigned to their fate. And mine is to be in a really boring Chinese/Japanese theater class. The only redeeming factor is that the professor's commentary is rather interesting in addition to the fact that he seems a little nutty. He reminds me of . . . oh now I know . . . he's like the crazy rocket scientist in this episode of Cowboy Bebop. Doohan? Something like that. Just with shorter hair. Anywho, yeah. Lot of reading, lot of boring. I'm hoping it's more of a B.S. class than it comes off as.
Oh, this water tastes so fresh and clean. Delicious.
Ah yes. Have you noticed that my mood seems somewhat improved? I checked out my canker sore today and it seems to be diminishing. My cold is also chilling out, although I still have a lot of phlegm and stuff in my throat. Makes me wake up in the middle of the night because I can't breath or something. Oh well. Getting better. All the better to brave this crap ass weather. Darn you snow! Darn you all to heck!!
I feel like a child today. Puhahaha!


1.5.05
Still sick. Tongue still hurts. I slept from about . . . uh, 5 yesterday, woke up briefly last night to eat leftover bulgogi, then went back to bed to sleep until 10:30 AM this morning.
DAMN. My tongue hurts a LOT. Ok. Now I'm just in a bad mood. But I'll say this. I got 194/200 on my Korean exam. That is all.


1.4.05
Well, I'm back in Ann Arbor again. I've never felt this crappy. The weather sucks, my cold is still raging, I've had this sore on the side of my tongue all day making it difficult to even swallow, depressed, and alone again in my box. I've passed the previous two hours by checking my e-mail and watching The Royal Tenenbaums that Khris let me borrow last night. She also gave me a little spherical candle holder thing and a rock from Colorado. They're pretty spiffy. After hanging out with Khris, Paul called saying he had told Jae we were all going to hang out, but I felt pretty tired at that point. Unfortunately, I needed to get Jae this German book for his future German studies, so Paul said he'd drop by in the morning to get it, which he did.
Oh. More interesting things to keep my mind away from other matters. Khris and I went to a Japanese restaurant last night and ran into this guy from high school who we haven't seen since . . . well, we were all still in high school. It's funny how people get all buddy buddy with you even though you never spoke a word to them beforehand. Oh well, it was fine. His name is . . . James. Woooo. Weird. Everyone looks a lot different two years later. I wonder if I do. Yeah, I do too . . . fortunately.
What else. Uh. Uhhh. I dunno. Man, maybe I should just sleep for a while. I got some food in the fridge I can just heat up. Left over bulgogi from my free meal at the restaurant, courtesy of Kenny. Wow, what a stand-up guy he is after all. Crazy huh? He served me and everything. My doggy bag was all neat and orderly. Amazing. Yeah so there's that and some pizza from Sunday night. Hum. Yep. Maybe it's an evening nap time. I got class tomorrow at 12 . . . only $290 in the bank . . . it's cold . . . and no, I'm not technically schizophrenic.


1.3.05
Dammit, I apparently still can't remember that it's 05. Sheesh. Anyway. I'm DAMN ILL and it sucks. And I think Booger just knocked over some wood in the basement. Ugh. Well, off to the restaurant to drop of my uniform. Whee.


1.2.05
Only one more day before I gotta go back to that hell hole that is A2. Well, it's not a hell hole, but I'm startin to like it again at home. If all my crap was here, it'd be even better! Cable in my room, DVD player, playstation. Yeah. Man. It's still a while before Do Won gets here. Bluh. They better hurry with that visa crap. What an annoyance.
Hmm. Went to my grandparents' house today. Uneventful. We only stayed there for a couple hours with the whole fam.
I'm gonna go out with Khris tomorrow for dinner hopefully, then coffee. That'd be a lovely way to end the vacation. Hopefully we'll go to that little Japanese restaurant in the strip mall. Awesome. But my mom's makin some sort of special chicken thingy doo tomorrow. So I'll get two dinners I think. Hmm. How to accomplish this gracefully. Man. I was thinking of going back to my high school tomorow but my mom said the weather's gonna be crappy . . . and I probably won't be able to convince myself to get up that early anyway. I was also thinking of going to the restaurant to see Khris and return my uniform in addition to getting some mandoo. That'd be a sweet deal.


1.1.05
Where's the five on the keyboard??? Arghhh. Well. We're smack dab in the middle of the first decade of this second . . . uh, thousand years of the solar calender. I guess. Woo. Woo. My mom usually makes cheeseballs on New Years Eve, but this year it was TGI Friday's uh, chicken quesadilla rolls or something. They were pretty good, but I only had one because she let me eat her leftover chicken yakisoba from the restaurant. Yeah, they dropped in on me. They came right after I returned from the hospital delivery. that was crazy. I got off for about 40 minutes to deliver three boxes of food to this doctor guy who wanted to treat the nurses cuz they had to work on the holiday. He gave me a $10 tip, then I proceeded to get lost in the hospital trying to find the exit. Good thing I didn't get hired for the university hospital job.
Well, yesterday was my last day for working. I ended up with about $100 outside of my Christmas money. So now I have enough for books I hope, but probably not enough to live on for four months when it comes to food. No more Korean take out for me. Whaaaaaaa!!!
Ah yes. Do Won's going on this required ski trip somewhere. It's for 3 days or something. Apparently he's going with a bunch of his friends, but he said he didn't wanna go. Hmm. What's his problem? Urgh. And Duk Hyun doesn't want him to move in with him, haha. So now he has to move in with either his host family who lives a billion miles west of campus, or he has to room with someone in a cheapo apartment like where he was living before. Hmm. I think he'll stay with his host family so he can get free Korean food.


12.31.04
I feel like bonified poo poo. Man. My mom made me an egg sandwich and I couldn't finish it. My stomach's funky, my head's funky, my throat's got mad phlegm going on. It's really gross. Oh yeah. Booger hit the glass door on the entertainment center in the basement last night and shattered it into a million pieces. My mom thought I was lying about it. Geez. A little credibility here!!!
Anyway, I don't feel like working. Really. But this isn't one of those days you can get off unless you got some projectile vomiting going. I'll probably come around and get into the zone. That is, unless I just pass out and fall on the floor. That'd be pretty cool. Hopefully I don't just fall sideways, spill a bunch of stuff, then right myself. If I fall, I should fall completely and not be able to get up of my own will.
Hmm. Feel like walkin over to the pharmacy a minute. Well, it'll take more like an hour to get there and back I think. Not too much different from school I don't think. Better get dressed . . . it's warm as heck out there. Feel kinda awkward. What should I wear . . .


12.30.04
Yeah, I ended up getting Katamari Damacy. I hope my brother isn't upset about that. But man, I needed that game so bad. I've played it almost every day since I got it. Addictive, non-violent fun!
Today my mom and I went out to eat at the mall. Our waitress was this girl who I used to work with at the good ol' restaurant two summers ago. She looked pretty familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it until she pointed out where we knew each other from. Wow, what a coincidence! She said though that being a waitress there had been too stressful, so working at this mall restaurant was a lot better. No alcohol to serve. Man, ain't that the truth. She also got a job at a pizza joint by her college down in corn land. Lucky!! After we ate lunch, we went to see "The Life Aquatic." Wow, another hit from Wes Andersen. It follows the exact same formula that Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums was made with, and it's great!! I can't get enough of it. There seems to be a progression of greater sadness and less resolution at the end of the movies, but it's all good. It was still hilarious in the mean time.
Do Won came online last night. He's finally out of training which he said was boring and hard. While he was gone, his nephew finally put his cell phone out of commission completely. It was kind of dying before, but now he has nothing. And he never got my Christmas letter. Hmm. Great. He was going to send me some pictures ( of what, I do not know ) but apparently his dad took it with him somewhere. So he'll send them to me some other time. Oh, how unlucky for Do Won. How will he keep in contact with his buddies . . . and budettes . . . ich weiss nicht.
Paul called me briefly. The first thing he said was "Nan babo." I laughed, then he said that Jae laughed. So I had to explaint that that means "I'm stupid." Finally, revenge of the Koreans on Paul. He had that comin.
I feel a little melancholy that my vacation is almost at an end, and I have to spend the big bang of it ( that is, New Years Eve ) working at that stinky restaurant. Everyone's been saying that I've been doing a good job and all, even this mysterious Kenny fellow. He was a little irritating to work for, but not too bad. He even gave me $10 in addition to this other 3 that one girl said was all he had. Strange. Odd. Oh well. The boss wasn't there last night, just his wife. She was all stressed out and got really pissed at her kids at the end of the night. They just don't know when to quit. Sometimes all of us feel bad that they have to practically live in the restaurant, but on the other hand, they're still locking people in rooms. I got locked in the fridge, another girl said the boss's daughter locked her in the bathroom. I'm not sure how that's possible since it locks from the inside and the door swings inward. Anyway, they're still pesky even though I thought both of them grew up a little. She stole my pen too. Well, they probably got hit with an plastic orange bat, so they definitely got their comeuppance.
Anyway. Nap time or something. It's 7:48. Ate a big dinner. Time to keel over.


12.26.04
Oh yes, aren't the holiday seasons always interspersed with a little bitterness and hurt feelings amidst smiles and necessitated holiday cheer? Man. I wish I had gotten a little bottle of real whiskey along with "whiskey" the whisk. I also want Katamari Damacy. I keep bouncing to the tunes wherever I go.


12.25.04
A rundown of booty? Well, some video games, "whiskey" the whisk, and a pan featuring whisky, along with other things I'll let you know about in the near future. I'm too lazy to write anything right now.


12.24.4
Merry friggin Christmas. -_-


12.23.04
Man, tuckered out. Christmas shopping for just one person is pretty hectic. Then wrapping . . . turns out I'm not as adept at wrapping as I thought I was. Kinda ended up wasting a large sheet of paper. -_-;;
On the plus side, I got to hang out with dad for a couple hours at the mall. That was pretty surreal! In a good sort of way.


12.22.04 Part II
11:36 PM. Oh yes. There's that old feeling of wanting to die again. Is it Wednesday? Yeah. What happened last Monday . . . nothing so bad since it wasn't busy. Plus Khris was there, and she cheered me on. Now she's gone. I was bussing for Annie today, and it was incredibly busy for everyone, especially her of course. She always gets too many tables. She usually asked me to get some drinks for a table. But then Scott kept telling me to clean up certain tables, sometimes so people could sit, but other times just because they looked bad. And they did. Some women left a bunch of crumpled up wrapping paper on their table. No big incidents though. Sometimes some people's lamps wouldn't stay lit because they were out of oil. Then the lighters themselves ran out of fuel. So I had to gank one from the other side of the restaurant. Everything's so far apart, and there are a couple steps here and there that threaten to trip me if I don't pay attention to where I'm going. It's quite a nightmare. My back and feet feel like they're gonna go on mutiny if I don't give them some quiet time, which I am now by chillin in bed, writing my usual complaints about this place. The nice thing is that there are a few people from the old restaurant who are back. That makes some things not so bad. And the Mexican guy Khris has a crush on agreed to play pool with her. That should be interesting when she comes back. Really.
I was suppose to go on a ride with Adam on his route tomorrow, but dad put his foot down on that. Besides that, I'd need to meet him somewhere downtown, and a ride back home. It's too bad. I was really looking forward to going with him. Now I just get to look forward to shopping with dad tomorrow. Whoo whee.
I got a head ache. I don't have that usual killing feeling though. I think like the other people there, I'm just beat. Scott got kinda pissed at Annie, and she walked away muttering something in Korean. His pissiness extended to others, but it's understandable. He's under a lot of pressure but still manages to keep that happy tone in his voice when he's talking to customers. Annie too. They're really pretty amazing. It's just too bad that they're sacrificing all their happiness for this work. If he could just entrust his work to co-manager or something, they would probably be a lot less stressed out. But he doesn't get one. I don't understand why he doesn't.
Anyway, I better do something either relaxing or something to get the pain out. Maybe some Soul Calibur II might be in order. We'll see if the stereo works in the basement.


12.22.04
1:47 AM. Time's going by so slowly. I should've brought my video games home, but I didn't remember them. Hmm.
Haven't talked to Do Won since last Sunday since it's probably not allowed for him to call or something while he's in training. It's kind of strange, but he's probably really worn out as it is. Since we haven't talked for so long, it's kinda driving me nuts. Since I'm home it's OK. If I was still at school though, I'd be really insane all the time worrying about him. At least here I'm working occasionally. My mom asked me today if we were still going out. My parents ask me that occasionally as if they were hoping/expecting we'd have broken up by now. A lot of people thought that. Actually, it is pretty amazing we've been together for nearly a year now. "Together", that is. Well, I keep thinking about January when we'll meet again. We'll both be taking classes, and hopefully I'll have some kind of a job next semester, but that's OK. We'll still have a lot of time to hang out. I just hope that Duk Hyun isn't too weird about having him stay at his apartment. If he can't stay there, then he might end up at his host parents' house again which is really far away from . . . everywhere. Hrmm. I hope we go to Mongolian BBQ. That would be nice.. ^^ Maybe Cafe Felix too, if we're feeling wealthy. My English teacher said it's a nice French version of a tapas bistro. At any rate, going anywhere with him in Ann Arbor would be a refreshing change from having to walk alone through campus everyday. How mudane it is.
I should really write my birth mom a letter soon. She sent me one quite a long time ago, so it's only appropriate that I send one back now during the holidays. Unfortunately, I'm not really sure what to say. All I've written so far is "Merry Christmas/Happy New Year's" in Korean. Then I thought about getting a card, but maybe it'd be better if I just saved the money and made a home made letter-card thing. It's more sentimental and it costs less, haha. Well, it's not so much about the money as I just want to get this out before the holiday season's actually over cuz then it's just kinda awkward. Only problem . . . what do I write and how do I write in Korean. I could probably ask some people at work, but they're usually busy. Maybe it'd be funny if I asked my boss. That might crack him up for once.
Anyway, I've been watching that dumb Korean movie again tonight. I stopped it half way through though since I figured I better get to bed or do something more productive with my life. Booger's just settled down in my bed, signaling it is about that time. So. Yeah. I'll try to think of some more stuff to write in the letter, then shove off to sleepy land.


12.21.04
No work today. Yay!


12.19.04
Winter decided to show up. It didn't unleash its fury, but now it's just being a bitch. How's that? It's 10 degrees outside. Barely any snow on the ground to speak of, but when you go outside, feels like you're naked even if you're wearing all manner of winter wrappings. Man. Maybe it's time to bust out some long johns huh? Man, I'm bored. And ma dogs are pooped.


12.18.04
I was afraid I was going to work until I died this Christmas vacation, but fortunately my mom made a plea over the phone to my boss and got me working only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Spiffy. I'm pretty happy because god, working there tonight was a nightmare. My feet, unused to this kind of slave labor, are screaming in agony.


12.17.04
Hey all. I just finished my last exam a little bit ago. Only took about an hour and it would've been even shorter if there hadn't been such a long listening section. I was grappling with one fill-in-the-blank question. It was like this:
A: Did Tim get married? B: Yeah. A: Then why does he act (blank) like he's not married? See it's really obvious and easy once you get it into the right grammatical form in English, but in Korean it's like this: why marry not do (blank) behave? That was pretty mystifying before I asked my teacher and she said that the answer was really easy. Anywho, the rest of it SEEMED Ok, although the section on reported speech probably messed me up. I tried to paraphrase certain verbs so I knew for sure which grammatical form to use, but for the first one I think I messed up. "Ha ji" probably doesn't become "ha jin da." I probably just should've written "Mannanya go." RRR! Alot of this stuff's probably gonna bite me in the ass later. Sweeeet.
Oh well. Hmm. Do Won's in military training, so he can't call or do anything. Yeah. -_-
And then . . . yeah the reason I'm sitting here in the lab again is cuz I'm trying to kill for any hour when Dukkie either gets out of class or wakes up?? He's online but he didn't answer the phone, so he's probably at school after all. How diligent of him.
Dude, I've only been in here for a little over 10 minutes and I'm already getting bored. There's nothing to really do on the computer unless it's your own and you can listen to music and shit. I have a scanner by me though. If only I had known, I would've brought some pictures to scan for the website. Sorry guys. Hahahaha. Or drawings. Sheesh, I haven't made a good drawing for the looooongest time. A few days ago I got so bored that I was drawing Vivi off the case of Final Fantasy IX. Actually that one was kinda OK, but then I started half-assing it and the cuffs of his coat got kinda funky. Oh well. Then I tried drawing Jun Ji Hyun, but I must have a subconscious urge to make her look ugly because it turned out really bad.
Anyway, I'm getting sick of this. I just wanna go home, but I'm gonna wait till 1. T.T


12.16.04
Man, still without internet at my apartment. At least I'm going back home tomorrow. There's something bothering me though. I have to get a present to Duk Hyun before then. I'm secretly hoping that my mom will drive me over to his house before we leave Ann Arbor and just take the north exit out of town. Anywho, yeah. I sold back my anthro books. I got a lousy $13 because they only took back "Nervous Conditions" and the big text book. They wouldn't take back the professor's book, haha. The atlas might be fun to look at later, I guess.
Man, I got a B+ on my final anthro exam . . . and I . . . kind of studied for it. Better than a C+ anyway. It's kinda strange. First an A-, second a C+, then a B+. And I got a B+ on my final paper too. Wonder what grade I'm going to get. Oo, actually I wonder what my overall GPA's gonna look like this semester. I hope the Korean exam goes well. I just printed out the study guide for it since I FINALLY got a stupid computer in this place during the afternoon. What a freaking miracle.
Ok, so . . . go home tomorrow, eat a lot of yummy and delicious things, then hang out with Paul and company? Granted everything goes according to plan. On Saturday though I gotta start talking with the ol' restaurant people to see when I can start working. RRRR! Anywho, my stomach is complaining at me so I better get home soon and eat some stuff before I work on my crap.


12.14.04
My internetless state at home continues. I think that guy is permanently out for Christmas vacation or something. This is really horrible. How can I survive the next two days with nothing to do except study Korean? Urghh!!
To add to my bad mood, I've been walking back and forth from campus ALL DAY and it's getting pretty old. The first time was to finish writing an English paper at my house, then come back from class at the Greek restaurant. I thought that we were all gonna order some pizzas and pay jointly be it turns out that we ordered individually, so I got a chicken pita which was pretty darn tasty. You could even smoke in there! Unfortunately, that gave my teacher an opportunity to bum two from me. -_-
After all that razmatazz was over, I went back home to pick up my textbooks with the intent of finally selling those bastiches. But ho? What's this?? My English book ( originally $48 ) only got me $21, and my two psych books, one a gigantic thing and the other a little, cheaper one, only got me $44 combined. The big book was originally $100 alone, the little one was . . . I dunno, like $30. Man, at least Ulrich's got me a little under half the original value. Bastards.
But nevertheless, I have a little sum of money I can rely on for the next couple days. Then my tax return is still hopefully coming, I'll start working at the restaurant again in a week or so, and if I actually go through with it, I'll get $50 for filling out surveys about my college experience ( from ACT, for some reason ). So. What's that. Maybe $3-400 max for next semester. Damn, I'm screwed.
Well, I'm at school, too lazy to brave the cold ass air and go back to my sweet, sweet bed. Ah. What loveliness that would be. Well, guess I'll go back to doing my little nothings. Video games and such. Nya.


12.10.04
Strange. I went to the grad library today, but I couldn't find my conversation partner~ What happened? -_- Oh well, it gave me time to study for the test we had today. Wasn't too bad . . . I think. The listening part was a little funky. I always get kinda apprehensive if I answer too many questions as "false."
The weather outside is pretty darn craptacular. Ergo it's better to stay indoors for the remainder of the afternoon/evening. Studying might even take place! Whoa, wouldn't that be a shocker. First off, a nap sounds good in about half an hour. I was playing FF VII for a long time. Got to the very end where you have to beat the incarnations of Sephiroth. He was totally womping on me so I just shut it off in utter frustration. If he calls a supernova from space that destroys Pluto and Jupiter, don't you think it should destroy the whole earth too? What's the point of Meteor then?
Anywho, everything's pretty boring. Maybe I should make a comic book or something. Oh, and cleaning this sty of a room sounds good too. There's toe jam and hairs everywhere. Ewwww.


12.9.04
Life's been pretty boring lately. I should be studying, but . . . I'm not. Uhh . . . just thinking about going home next week. Turns out my Korean professor wouldn't let me take the final exam early which is no big deal, but now I got nothing to do next Wednesday and Thursday. Well, sell my textbooks back and um . . . consume money through eating . . . and . . . oh yeah, study for the test, but that shouldn't require all of two days. So what is Anna doing now? Knockin' back a cold one and thinking about what should be done over the weekend. Mostly reading, reading, and more reading. Woohoo. Maybe I should do some now too. Do Won's not been around much lately since this is his exam week. I'm sure he's up studying till 4 AM. I forsee a high amount of drinking after this Friday for him. Hmmmmm.
Well, I'll shower for now I guess.


12.7.04
Tall white mocha and an opera torte. Hmm. How ueber American of me. On the way into the building, this guy said "Help a homeless man get supper tonight." I said sorry, barely looking at him. See, that just makes me feel bad. On one hand, I would've helped him out, but on the other, I barely have any money to feed myself. Maybe I should've given him the one dollar I had in my wallet and started panhandling tomorrow.
Lately I've been going through this Japanamania craze again. Not sure where it came from, but I'm getting pretty psyched about the idea of going to Japan again. My first experience, however cursory it was, completely blew me away and, in a way, changed my life. Wait, it's probably because Adam was telling me about this website that sold Japanese video games and merchandise that hasn't been released in the U.S. I was like yeeeaaaa-I need all of this! That country is so full of crap you don't need but desperately want it's mind boggling. But then, there are things you need. Holy crap. If only I could stop there on the way to Korea . . . or do a study abroad there. Yeah . . . sweetness.
Well, better get on psych before it gets on me. Yikes.


12.5.04
This is the last week of class. Holy sweet crap, everything is crashing down around me. Or maybe it's that I started caring just today. I've been looking at the psych lecture slides for the past two hours or so trying to catch up on what I missed ( which is basically everything since the last exam ). I've resolved to go to lecture tomorrow so that and Wednesday's lecture will be two fewer things I'll have to look up later this week. GRRR! I shouldn't really being this now though. There's a Korean composition due tomorrow. I was working on that earlier but it got pretty tiresome considering the topic is inventing your own holiday. I started writing about something . . . got through about a paragraph then scrapped it. So now there's two or three sentences on the last one . . . hopefully I'll go through with this one, if I ever get round to starting that up again. Man, it's due tomorrow!! Ackkk. Anthro . . . the last section's tomorrow which means there's a quiz. Crap, crap, crap. That means I should study anthro a little bit tonight yet too. What else? English. Well, the teacher's been sick for the last two classes, so that should've lightened the load a bit. Did it? NO! I procrastinated on writing whatever paper we're supposed to be doing now. Everyone's in a massive state of confusion over what we're supposed to be reading and writing about. Everyone will be immensely relieved once that class is done with. Luckily there's no exam for it. How could there be? We didn't learn anything.
9:50 PM. Usually I'd just be starting studying right now. Fortunately I started more around 5:30. Sheesh. What a load of craziness. Perhaps meeting my conversation partner wouldn't be such a good idea. I could be collecting my thoughts in between the anthro section and Korean recitation. Hmm. Dunno, dunno. Actually, she could check my composition last minute for errors . . . interesting idea. And yet . . . laziness is overwhelming me. Maybe I'll send her an e-mail tonight or tomorrow morning . . .
Well, I'm gonna take a break, snack, play video games for maybe 45 minutes, then get back on this crazy horse. My brain is gonna implode otherwise.


12.4.04
Happy arrival day to me. My mom sent me a card in the mail with a Starbucks card for $30 on it. That's a lot of coffee. I'll probably be good through the beginning of January with that.
I downloaded a "real" ringtone on my phone. Mazzy Star's "Fade Into you" it was. Unfortunately the cost was an exorbitant $3 for just those 8 seconds of goodness. Maybe I'm regretting it now, but . . . no. Oh well.
Didn't wake up until 3 PM today. One would think I'd be pretty ready to do stuff by now ( 6 PM ) but I'm still as lazy as before. Why? One reason is that the water in the shower was ice cold and wouldn't get warm, so I haven't take a shower for quite some time. Eww. It's dark outside, so that kinda puts a damper on me. And of course, I'm just naturally lazy. I got a couple papers to write, one for English and one for Korean, the topic for the latter being to invent an imaginary holiday. Woo.
I finally got a tub of normal butter today so I can make some rice if I want to. Rice-a-Roni to the rescue! Probably don't wanna start eating for a little while yet though. Just drank some Starbucks and that always tends to fill my tummy up with milkiness.


12.3.04
Ugh, hungryyyyyy. I need to go find a chunk of meat to eat cuz my hair's having issues. Falling out, that is. Oh, and I realized today that my Korean speaking skills suck!!! To top it off, I didn't get that lesbian job at school. So I gotta keep looking . . . but as of now, there isn't really anything available that I can apply for. Great. I'm gonna be poor and die next semester.


12.2.04
Hmmm. What to say today . . . I feel a little awkward. Yes. So, to be continued . . . at a more discreet, uh, ( I'm retarded ) location.
Ok, 10:22 PM. I'm at home and just made the worst pasta ever. I think I put in 2 cups of water instead of 1 1/3 which is what you're supposed to do. The flavor is majorly diluted obviously, but in a way, maybe it's good. This way the flavor isn't so overwhelming and heavy in my stomach like it usually is. And I'm still getting all the nice carboyhydrates anyway. So it's kinda like spaghetti without the sauce with a few shreds of green things thrown in for color. Add a pound of salt, and voila! It tastes like something that's familiar so it isn't so disgusting to me the way it is. ( It's not a disaster, it's an invention. )
The sun came out today for the first time in a while. I noticed that my limbs were shaking and I thought it was from over-caffeination. But no! It was the happy sun that made me so jittery and excited about nothing. If only it had struck me in the eye this morning so I would've gotten my lazy butt out of bed. Man. Walked into the psych section and sound a mound of papers on the desk. Missed the due date for the second writing assignment. Oops. Forgot about it. She couldn't remind us last week because there was no class last week. Arghh. Ah well. What's five points in the big scheme of things, eh?
Man. I better get that job. Job job job job job job!!


11.29.04
It snowed again today. Big, moist flakes. Somewhat unpleasant since I couldn't see where I was walking. Oh well. I still managed to walk to and from campus 3 times. Actually, I took the bus one time back home. There was a bit of a time crunch in between class and 2:30 since, well, I had a job interview at 2:30 and forgot my resume at my apartment. Yikes. She looked it over for 30 seconds and then asked if I had any references. Uh oh. The one thing that needed to be on there . . . the interviewer didn't really interview me. She just gave me a rundown of the job and told me that since this was the womens studies department, I need to be aware that there'll be feminists and uh . . . lesbians about. Maybe I shouldn't even be writing this, although it's probably something most people can guess. Oh well.
Crazy day. Anthropology paper. Memorized a skit in 20 minutes. Fortunately it went OK after all. Whee. Guess I got 100% on the last two skits. That's pretty exciting. Ah, and I met my conversation partner again. She's so cool. Over Thanksgiving she was watching Kyuh-ool Yunka at her friend's house. It seems Japanese and Korean people alike are/were crazy about that drama. Fuuuuunny~
Man, my legs hurt. I thought I'd get a nap in, but I was playing FF VII for too long. Now it's 9:38 PM. Too late for naps, otherwise I won't get up until 4 AM or something. And that's no good. Hmm. Better catch up on anthro. I feel like I'm lightyears behind. I haven't read any of the culture sketches so I have no idea what they were talking about in section when they came up. Ah well. Catch up time. Here we gooooo!


Journal 17


I was rolling all over the world! ( Katamari Damacy yo )



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