Okay, everyone who was alive in the '80s and had an idea of what was going on around you, especially in the fields of horror and HBO, will remember a short lived series known as "Freddy's Nightmares". Or, maybe you were so traumatized by how bad the show actually was, you pushed it so far back in your subconscious that only a video tape containing episodes from that series (such as this, Freddy's Tricks and Treats) are enough to shock these memories back into your now shattered psyche.
For those of you that have no idea what it is I'm running on about, back in the mid-to-late '80s the idiots over at HBO decided they could make big money off of a weekly, or should I say “weakly”, series centered around Freddy Krueger, the pop idol villain of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. Basically, in each episode, Freddy would host as we watched him torment teenagers in stories that all ended in some vaguely ironic way that's meant to catch the viewer off guard... *cough*cough* "Tales From the Crypt" rip-off *cough*cough*. The series was then released in parts onto video cassettes like this one, assuring us that we'd always be haunted by Freddy's inane show for generations to come...
This video features episode 4 of the show’s first season, “Freddy’s Tricks and Treats”: a very stupid and contrived piece centering around a med school college broad named Marsha (I'll avoid the obvious "Brady Bunch" jokes in an attempt to get this over with). Marsha does the nerd thing and decides to avoid campus Halloween parties, opting instead to study more, despite the pleas of her hockey mask clad boyfriend... no, he's just a wise ass, not a serial killer or even a goalie for that matter. Marsh then heads to the only really quiet place on campus: the cadaver room, where the pathology students get their hands-on learning. Here, the rent-a-cop looking after the place tells Marsh the history of Freddy Krueger. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Freddy starts popping in and out of Marsha's dreams, tormenting her with nightmares of her abusive yet overly protective grandmother, as well as a slew of bad FX and cheesy camera work.
When Mark shows up to try and show Marsh a good time, succeeding in only pissing her off more, before confusing the audience when he takes her on a flashback trip. He's obviously Freddy trying to trick her, right? Wrong, because after he shows the fateful night of Marsha telling off her grandma (which gives the old bitch a coronary), he tells her she's faced her fears and doesn't need him anymore. The lame ass disappears and Marsha has a break down, winding up on the lawn of a fraternity, where some psyche major informs us that Mark was never real, simply a figment of the chick's psychically strained imagination… yay.
Freddy then pops in to do a Hamlet scene for us, before we jump back into our little suck-fest. It's now "2 Months Later" and Zach (the psyche major) and his pal have Marsha hooked up to a special machine that lets them watch her dreams like a bad soap opera. They're doing this so the psyche major can make some kind of big breakthrough with Marsha' dreams, making him famous so no one will misspell his name anymore... gee, I never really thought of "Zach" as being hard to spell. Anyway, the guys teach Marsha "not to be scared anymore", and this is when Freddy starts making his presence more well known in her head. This time she escapes, but Fred manages a scratch on her. Now, with this new revelation, Zach wants to go into Marsha's head and help her fight Freddy. They do it, despite the wishes of their professor, and Zach winds up with a broken neck because Freddy really wanted to get to him all along or something... Freddy, next time go for the more direct approach and save us some trouble, okay?!
Usually I bitch and moan because I rent a video and get a rude awakening when I find out I paid $2.97 for a lousy 45 minute episode of some Japanese cartoon show. This time, I can only wish it had been a 15 minute tape! Hell, I probably would've paid $7.58 plus tax if only this tape were about 30 minutes shorter! Sure, I would've felt bad for spending all that money for nothing, but "nothing" is far better than the pain induced by this fucking video! The story made NO sense, it lacked any and all flair that the movies had, and even Freddy's usually corny one-liners were just plain UNGODLY! I also despise the quality of the film used to make the show, because you can tell it's just a cheap TV show! At least with "Tales From the Crypt" the quality of the film made it appear to be something more, not less! Times like this make me proud to say, "No, I don't have HBO"!
And so, right now, in order to get over the evils of a bad HBO series, I will have to go watch a GOOD series from Showtime to reinstate my faith in premium channels. I think I'll view the episode of "Perversions of Science" that featured Jeffrey Combs as Hitler! Wanna see? TOO BAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
The Moral of the Story: This is the worst thing to happen since I found out that "
Friday the 13th: the Series" had nothing to do with Jason Vorhees!
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating: 
- Stupid, cheap and 45 minutes long. No, I'm not talking about sex with me, I'm talking about the video... Anyway, this could make a useful "transition" flick between features. If your party's starting to wind down and some people need a break, throw this one in and they'll appreciate the features much more afterwards.
If You Liked This Show, Check Out: "Perversions of Science" or "The Outer Limits"
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