[Editor’s Note: important parts of the following review has been proven to be bullshit. I was kinda flying by the seat of my pants when I originally wrote this and didn’t have the extensive internet resources that I do today when this review was first written. Upon further inspection, it turns out that New Dominion Tank Police was not in fact a TV series, simply a sequel to the original DTP that was done by a different animating team and then broken up into six “episodes”, originally released in the US on three VHS volumes. As such, any and all referrals in this review to a Tank Police television series should be ignored. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program…]
First off, let me note that this is technically not a sequel to the Dominion Tank Police movies, but episodes from an animated series that was spawned from those movies. Basically, if it weren't so packed with violence, vulgarity, and, uhm, va-vas (tits), then you might even catch it on Cartoon Network Toonami, sandwiched between "Dragonball Z" and "Outlaw Star". Actually, this is still a possibility, since those two series are edited from their original Japanese TV versions (they get to show much cooler shit over there than we're forced to sit through here in the US, basically because they're not stuck with the fucking puritan censorship pricks that we are). Oh well, only time will tell if we ever see "New Dominion Tank Police" on American air waves, but if we do, everything will be perfect in my life!
This volume contains two episodes of the televised mayhem, possibly the first and second episodes, but I'm really not sure how Manga Entertainment did this, so your guess is as good as mine. All the old cast are here. On the Tank Police we have Captain Britain, the stressed out Chief, everyman Al, and the plucky heroine Leona with her bite-sized tank Bonaparte. As for villains, Buaku is apparently gone after the little ascension he had with Green Peace at the end of Dominion Tank Police Part 2, though the Puma sisters are still around from time to time. The series mainly uses various new criminals to fill the Tank Cops’ time, from underground criminal syndicates to petty street thugs to corporate deviants to industrial saboteurs; they find the time to blow a hefty chunk out of all fields of the criminal element. Whether there's ever a returning arch-nemesis type like Buaku and his gang is unknown to me, as I have only witnessed a few volumes of the series, unable to find any bootlegs of other episodes. Saddest of all though: they dropped that catchy Tank Police techno theme song…
Our first story opens with Leona, Al, and their bastard offspring-of-sorts Bonaparte, as they chase a dangerous murderer through the streets of the city of Dominion. They capture him, but not without some of the typical Tank Police devastation. This little episode, along with all the other recent damage complaints filed against the city due to Tank Police actions, gets the team stuck with a parole officer. The guy is a total dickweed know-it-all, who chastises the TP for anything they do that's not word-for-word out of "the book". Not the bible, but it's obviously pretty important if EVERY police drama and renegade cop feels the need to refer to "the book", as in "I don't do things 'by the book' Chief!", or "Damn it Callahan, you never do things 'by the book'!”. You get the picture.
Just about the same time, a heavily armed steel spider the size of a Buick begins to rampage around the city, showing up the Tank Police left and right... more than likely, the tin-plated arachnid is piloted by Mr. Tank Expert in an attempt to discredit the Tank Police in one of the most clichéd "plot twists" in this or any other media. This theory of mine is only half right though, as the real Mr. Tank Expert is found bound at the local airport! Now, in a face down with the imposter and his spider-tank, can Leona and Al come out on top with their miniature war machine Bonaparte, despite being greatly outgunned? Just to prove that the old proverb "the good guy always wins" holds true no matter what side of the pond you're on, Leona and Al use their wits to overcome the spider's weapons, cracking the metal beast like a cashew and plucking the nut they find within. We then learn that the guy was doing all this because he was pissed at the government, such as pretty much all terrorists are motivated. He had created his iron spider as a prototype, but got royally screwed when the "people's government" swiped it from him. So, as a plan of revenge, he decided he'd use that very same spider-bot to discredit the government's Tank Police. This plan has failed as we all know by this point, even giving the TP some much needed positive publicity. Finally, as all you X-Philes out there know, governments (whether they be democracy, republic, monarchy, whatever) don't like to let their secrets be leaked, so you know this guy won't be sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed too long... and he doesn't.
If you don't care for the rehashed "the villain is on the inside" story, then you're gonna hate the "cop quits the force to take the law into his/her own hands" theme of the second episode too. Basically, Leona receives word that an old friend of hers from the police department's motorcycle division has been found dead. When she realizes that the Tank Police are of no good to her in solving the crime, she takes a leave of absence, doing just what that guy at the end of "The People's Court" told her not to do: taking the law into her own hands. Oh yeah, and the Puma sisters cameo, as they're the only witnesses to the murder of Leona's friend.
But, while Leona tracks the killers herself, the Chief puts Lt. Britain on Leona's tail to keep an eye on her, providing back up if necessary, leading to a comical scene or two as Britain interacts with some crazy old woman on the street. In addition, the Puma sisters are watching Britain, who is watching Leona. Why they're involved is over my head though, as this is starting to not make much sense to me. One of Leona's leads takes her to a corporation where her friend had gone to seek employment prior to her unfortunate demise. The evil corporate mad scientists kidnap Leona too now, preparing to lobotomize and enslave her for their own evil corporate purposes, as all evil corporations usually do. But, Al and Britain show up to save the day, defeating the white collar cyborg captors. With some form of justice apparently being dished out, Leona rejoins the TP and her beloved Bonaparte, the end.
For installments from a cartoon series, these episodes were okay, but I think these plot lines would've done far better had they been given the time and effort of a full length feature, such as the Tank Police movies. If there's still a "New Dominion Tank Police" series going on over in Japan, here's a little hint: do the "Spawn" thing. In the "Spawn" serieses (probably not a word, but Godz don't appease to grammar) they were able to tell a variety of different storylines with one continuous plot point joining all episodes, not unlike a LONG animated movie. For instance, you could join the main stories from both these flicks as the continuous plot point: Leona is kicked off the force after all the damage claims prompt the mayor to put the TP on parole, under the eye of a guy who turns out to be an evil inventor. The evil inventor also happens to work for the corporation that is responsible for the death of Leona's friend from the motorcycle division. Along the way, as Leona searches out her friend's killers, she can collaborate with Al, who, along with the other Tank Police members, takes on different criminals and such. All of these under the evil eye of their "parole officer", who gives them Hell left and right, even causing Al to let one of the bad guys get away. Meanwhile, to add to the comical human elements of the story, there could be an episode where Mohawk's parents come to visit, one where Specs falls in love with some hot babe from the homicide division, and yet another where Britain gets an IRS audit! Or, just have him kidnapped by anal probing aliens… whatever the case, just make the series’ plot structure like that of "Spawn"… only much funnier. Also, the animation has been toned down in detail, probably because they need to be created quicker and under a less accommodating budget since it's a TV series, so the animation too needs to be improved. Only then will the series live up to the movies.
The Moral of the Story: Sometimes using heavy artillery meant for full-on war combat scenarios is better left on the battlefield and not the city streets...
Sequel to: Dominion Tank Police
Sequels: New Dominion Tank Police 2 ; New Dominion Tank Police 3
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating: 
- Animated tank hijinx are always fun and the short length of the episode makes this one a good candidate for a late-in-the-party filler title.
If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: Appleseed or
Angel Cop: the Collection
FEEDBACK
All materials found within this review are the intellectual properties and opinions of the original writer. The Tomb of Anubis claims no responsibility for the views expressed in this review, but we do lay a copyright claim on it beeyotch, so don't steal from this shit or we'll have to go all Farmer Vincent on your silly asses. © March 5th 2006 and beyond, not to be reproduced in any way without the express written consent of the reviewer and the Tomb of Anubis or pain of a physical and legal nature will follow. Touch not lest ye be touched.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
