I've mentioned before that a film's ending can make or break a movie here in the Hall of Judgment. No matter what part of the globe, no matter what genre the film, no matter who the cast and crew, if your ending sucks, your movie sucks. Though it doesn't flat out suck, X is one of these movies that suffers from an anti-climactic ending and thereby suffers all together. The animation is borderline on the "Fucking Spectacular" level, with plenty of action, insanely gorgeous cityscape settings and a visually interesting cast of characters. The story itself is decent, as another of those "one man destined to save the world vs. one man destined to destroy it" plots it's nothing we haven't seen before, but it's still done well enough. Unfortunately the supporting characters were numerous and thus paid little attention to before being cleaved in half or blown to pieces by their enemies, but again, that's nothing we haven't seen before, especially in "fighting" Anime like Street Fighter II and Battle Arena Toshinden. What's wrong with X's finale? Well, like me, you'll have to sit through the entire story before you can find out... or you could just scroll down like a jerk and... HEY! GET BACK HERE! I know if you scroll damn it, so just sit back and get readin'!
Our interests are grabbed from the very odd opening sequence, as a naked chick reaches into her stomach and yanks out a big sword... and I thought sharks ate some messed up shit. The woman then passes it through her son (phasing, not stabbing), telling him he's supposed to be the savior of Tokyo. Then there's another vision involving a young woman and the guy with the sword in his guts, only now he's an angel battling some demonic twin brother. Could this be a foretelling of the old "devil and angel on each shoulder" battle of morality which the young man will have to go through in order to save the young woman involved, or perhaps as a result of her existence in his life? Again, you'll have to find out... From this confusion we jump to the Tokyo skyline, 1999, "the year of destiny", where the young man, our hero Kamui Shiro (which means "Power of God" coincidentally... you know his parents must've had plans for him...), bounds across the building tops in search of two groups: the Dragons of Heaven and the Dragons of Earth. The Dragons of Earth intend to wipe out humanity for the purification and betterment of the Universe, while the Dragons o' Heaven are trying to preserve civilization and give humanity a chance to turn itself around. You can see why the two are now engaged in a reality spanning war that could determine the ongoing existence (or utter annihilation) of our world, right? Okay, just checking. As for Kam(ui), he wields more power than either side, so no matter what either group has up their sleeves for their enemies, you know Kam will ultimately be the deciding factor. The only question is, which group does he join?
Kam runs into a couple of opposing Dragon members battling out their holy wars on a skyscraper, probably scouting out which team he thinks can afford his salary. The two ultimately destroy each other, so I guess that's really not going to be much good in deciding where Kam's allegiances stand. With that done, Kam (who looks like an Asian Goth in that gay ass Count Dracula cape of his) heads off to save some old friends of his while the sinister forces of the Dragons of Earth consolidate their powers and plot against the Dragons of Heaven. Speaking of the Earth Dragons, Kam is intercepted by a duo of the baddies. His first battle of the film is against a water sorcerer and some guy's whose special talents is his control over strips of cloth... look out Kam, he might knit you a sweater... an itchy wool sweater of evil! But, Kam need not fear uncomfortable garments, as four of the Heaven Dragons butt their heads in, turning the 1-on-2 into an even 5-on-2... why is it that when the guys trying to save humanity cheat and stack the deck it's fair game, but when the sociopathic guys do the same it's considered cheating and cowardly? Just for that, I'm cheering for the Earth guys! Anyway, Kam's ex-girlfriend Kotari and her older brother Fuma (who's also the "we were like brothers" friend of Kamui) are captured by an Earth Dragon witch who holds mastery over shadows... or is that blood? Well, whatever it is she controls she's captured them both and Kam can't do anything about it, so roll that in a blunt and smoke it! However, by pulling this little stunt, the Earth Dragons have pretty much fucked over any chances they had of getting Kam on their side, as he instead joins the Dragons of Heaven.
So as to not make the kidnapping a total loss, the Earth Dragons intend to turn Fuma into their own chosen warrior, manipulating him through dreams and nightmares into thinking that Kam is his sworn enemy and making him the hero's foil, which now explains the earlier vision of Kam fighting his demonic twin... so much for the struggle of morality, replaced instead by brainwashing and the potential for exceptional violence in one of those all important "final battle" endings... might not be so bad after all! Trust me though, it gets all fucked up, just keep reading. You may wonder how all these super powered freaks got together in the first place, right? Well, to understand that you have to understand the oracle sisters Hinoto and Kanoe. Each of these mystical ladies had a vision about the two Dragons, Heaven and Earth, fighting it out for their own personal goals. Both sisters foresaw different outcomes, so to ensure that theirs was the correct vision for the future, both proceeded to recruit minions. And thus, the Dragons of Earth and the Dragons of Heaven came into existence and hence why they fight... and here I was hoping for random, unexplained carnage. Also, as I said, Kam has joined the Heaven Dragons and Fuma is being conditioned to lead the Earth Dragons, so the plot thickens like my penis in a porno store.
The Earth and Heaven teams battle it out for the most part of the film, taking each other down in one-on-one super brawls, each fighter using various techniques to blah blah blah, you get the point. To keep from slaughtering innocent people as a result of these little exchanges of fists, lightning and stray concrete, ground zero for these battles takes place in an alternate reality that's exactly like ours, only without the people... finally, a place I can go to escape Eric Roberts! Now, don't get me wrong, these fight scenes are cool, but since we don't really get to know any of the contestants, I really couldn't care who the fuck gets ripped in half. Just not enough time to form an opinion really, it feels like we're missing out on the other characters' half of the movie, like it's sold separately or something. After Fuma's finally gotten his brain tweaked properly, he just needs a sword to fight Kam with. He arms himself with the Dragon of Earth Sword, which he yanks out of sister Kutari's guts, killing her in the process. Now armed, Fuma's first act is to cut down his "teammates", after all, the Dragons of Earth live to destroy all humanity, right? Well, since they're also human, seems only logical they croak too! Take THAT irony and stick it up your colostomy bag! Besides, there's no 'i' in "team", nor is there a "team" in "Dragon of Earth"... come to think of it, there's a lot of words not found in "Dragon of Earth", like fingerbang, photosynthesis, crowbar and Dragon... oh wait... Well, vocabulary aside, in addition to hacking up his former partners/brainwashers, Fuma also decides to claim that HE is Kamui and that the real Kamui is an impostor who must be destroyed. After he kills off the Dragon of Heaven cadre as well, it leaves Fuma (who I will now call KamFuma) to battle Kamui in a sudden death Kamui-O-Rama!
So, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. The last 85 minutes or so have led up to this very event, as the two sides of the coin, Kamui and KamFuma (Gezundheit!), finally clash swords in a war of epic proportions, with the very fate of the world, even the very universe, hinging on the outcome. The winner shall mold existence in his own image, the loser shall be scattered to the winds of time, his name little more than a whisper on the tongue of his opponent. The clash of steel as these two ageless gladiators, forged by destiny, engage in what very well could be the end of everything... and it all lasts as long as it takes Kamui to swing his sword... I told ya this ending was beyond lack-luster. All that work, all that effort, who knows how long it took for the writers, animators, producers, voice actors, directors, caterers, interns, etc. to make this movie, and it's all finished in a split second... what a waste. After decapitating KamFuma, the hero cradles his dead friend's headless corpse in his arms and pouts like a baby.
I liked this movie up until this point. I was impressed by the great visual tone, the story, though nothing all together super original, was decent. The voice acting wasn't the worst I've ever heard, but I never thought it was exactly rocket science to talk WITHOUT sounding like you're missing your frontal lobe. Basically, X could've been yet another excellent Anime, up there with Fist of the North Star, Ninja Scroll or maybe even Vampire Hunter D. Instead, all because of one error in judgment concerning a rushed and anti-climatic finale, it gets bumped down to sub-mediocre... borderline crap. This really is a disappointment when you consider X is directed by Rintaro, who brought us Neo-Tokyo and the Galaxy Express 999 films and features the art of a very talented, all female team of animators (collectively known as "Clamp"... I won't even ask). I also have to give major credit to Suichi Hirata though, whose amazing cityscapes and techno-nightmare backgrounds rival even those of his awe-inspiring Ghost In the Shell scenery. And yet, despite these potentially ass kicking elements, it all flops because of a crappy ending... sometimes life's a bitch.
The Moral of the Story: Always be prepared to kill your childhood friend, cuz ya never know when the fates will conspire against you to do so.
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating: 
- Plenty of eye candy and action to keep the kids happy, just make sure nobody tries to sink too deep into the story, otherwise we might have heads exploding left and right.
If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust or
Ninja Scroll
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