A Product of TOPolk Productions

"Because I'm That Damn Good"

Extended AIM Profile

This is basically a really big profile.  Why?  Well, two reasons : 1) AIM Profiles never give you enough space to say what you want most of the time 2) I got really bored one day, figured why not?

Random Thoughts

Has anyone else noticed that the EAP has mainly just been "story time" since graduation?  I can't say I have much insight or random quips about things as I used to.  Guess that happens when all the drama is taken out of your life in a flash.  I don't have to try to say things in a nice/funny/sugarcoated way anymore.  Dunno if I like this or not.  Life almost seems boring at times.


Am I the only one who gets pissed when they pump gas and pay at the pump and the receipt doesn't print because it's out of paper and you have to go inside to get it?  Well shit, that defeats the purpose of paying at the pump.


I love college football season.  It's the only time of the year you can slap your team logo/colors on anything and its acceptable to carry around in public.  Clemson overalls, perfectly fine.  Big goofy Clemson sunglasses - A-OK.  A big, shiny, gold WCW World Heavyweight Championship belt with Clemson stickers smartly placed? - not only acceptable, but a GREAT conversation starter.


Am I the only one annoyed when xxxx "attractively challenged" people go on and on about their sexual conquests?  Alright, you hooked up with the hot waiter.  You reamed the fine chick who works in Waldenbooks, cool.  But don't go and on like you're the world's greatest gift to the opposite sex.  It's almost sad to think that what's a conquest to some people is an easy lay for others.


What's the one dance that everyone knows how to do in the club?  The dance where you shake your ass on someone's groin or have your groin shaken on by someone's ass while still holding your beer.  This dance requires no rhythm and not too much effort.  Perfect for white guys.


Speaking of beer, why is Michelob Ultra promoting itself as "the healthy beer?"  It's fucking beer.  I can't say I've ever been throwing down a few cold ones and went, "man, I really should cut back.  I'm gonna kill my figure."  However, Michelob Ultra is making a strong push for my Number 2 beer (I still love Bud Light).  Guess that happens when I go out drinking with Sarina…who happens to be a little white girl who is concerned about her figure.  Go fig.


Alright…  I wasn't planning on doing shout-outs.  As a matter a fact, I don't want to do them because I haven't seen or spoken to too many people who read this thing in a while.  Damn work.  Social life nonexistent.  Anyways, stealing a page out of Terence's book and how he equates people with songs for some unknown reason (weirdo...see RAW 19, sixth paragraph down if you're completely lost) I figured I'd do the same here.  Just on a larger and non-psychotic scale.  Just my way of bringing up happy memories since I don't get to interact w/ you guys too much now to make new ones.  Figure most of ya'll can figure out why I chose the lyric I did for ya'll, so I'm not gonna go into too much detail afterwards.


Cecil"Roxxxxxxxxxannnnnnnne.  You don't have to put on the red light."  A primal scream that only you could get away with

Denny"Hey Ho, how ya doin' where ya been?"  You, Jack, and I singing "Ho" at a bar on what was technically Christmas Eve at 3:15 in the morning.  Damn that's good times.

Tristan"I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!!!"  If there was a box set that I knew you'd blow all your food money on, that was definitely going to be it.  Congrats on graduating also my friend.

Mikey:  Insert random Cantonese song lyrics here.  Happy Graduation by the way buddy :-)

Phil"WE'VE GOT BOXES!!!!"

John"I'm as free as a bird…"  (GTA:SA predominately features minority protagonists and this is the song you made a memory out of.  I have to say, I'm kinda amazed.)

Chad"Hey Joanne, break it off for a playa with a cause."  I tell you boy, Joanne gets around.  I can't believe you let ALL of them Trillville boys bust a nut in her grill tho.  What type of son are you?

Eric"I ain't got no drawers on in lightsey."  Willie Nellie Records - I tell you, ya'll doin' some big thangs in 52A.  Quite impressed.

Michele: To be honest, its hard to think of a lyric for you that wasn't put in there by my overactive imagination.  In other news, good job on your first trimester of grad school.  Bad job on how what you managed to paint your room with.  :-)

Kelli"And I held you're hand through all these years, but you still have all of me." (This song always puts me in your room (where you NEVER had on any lights) for some reason

Cassie:  Eh, sorry Cassie, no Will Hoge lyrics on my computer.  Thank God.  Just kidding :-)  Twas good getting to catch up with you on our Columbia to Clemson trek.  We gotta do that more often.

Steph2"Tonight girl, its only you and me."  Man, PJ got a steal in the girlfriend department.  Do they make any more like you?  Btw, we have got to keep alcohol out of you and your roomies hands.  The Carolina game weekend was quite interesting.

Jen"Cause now I've got the world swinging from my nuts, damn it feels good to be a gangsta."  Ya know, when you said you wish you had nuts so you could say this, I pictured you doing the library hand wave as you said those lyrics.  Scary mental picture.

Libby"C is for Cookie that's good enough for me, oh cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C."  Ya know, actually when I think Libby, I think "Hot for Teacher" (because of your away messages, not because of some suppressed fantasy - tho I am your favorite pervert), but I can't remember you actually singing it so this'll work in the interim.

Cobby"Hit me baby one more time." Yeah, I dug into the high school vault for that one.  On a completely unrelated note, whenever Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer comes on tv I always go "yep, Cornelius and Cobby were definitely separated at birth."

Rachel"She is so lucky, but why does she cry?"  The other night I was listening to some mp3s and "Lucky" came on and I instinctively started doing the "Lucky Dance."  Yep, it's just as silly now as it was four years ago.

Bradley"There are raisins in my toast.  Raisin Toast at Waffle House."  Eventho this is a staple of every trip we take to WaHo, it's people like you that make me glad I came to my sense and turned down the WaHo job.

Tyrell"Bling-Bling has a crack pipe in his collar…" k, so not a Christmas Carol, but damn if it wasn't funny

Gabrielle:  Alrighty, no song quote for ya, but I've got to say Merry Graduation to you too also.  Glad your time at (as you put it) the University of Hell (aka Carolina) is now over.

Deborah: "We've now formed the memories."  We've got to start writing each other again.  Sure we speak regularly on the cell, but I miss getting your letters.

Rebecca: "Man I promise, she's so self-conscious."  You and your Kanye CD.  Well at least that was quality music.  You may have laughed then, but if you would have put in that Ashlee Simpson CD, I was seriously gonna bounce.


Special shoutouts go to Miss Sarah, Miss Arianna, Senorita Robles, and Miss Quin.  No relevant song quotes, but I can't have a set of shoutouts without at least saying "hola" to you guys.