| Decisons - by kyrdwyn |
| Rated: G Spoilers: None Synopsis: Elizabeth wrestles with her decision not to tell Gil. |
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| CSI, Gil Grissom and company, and places and etc are all property of Anthony Zuiker, Alliance Atlantis, CBS, and other companies. They did not condone this fic, and I am not getting paid for it. I write because I want to. All other characters not appearing on CSI in any way, shape, or form that appear in this story are my property. If you have any comments - good or bad, feel free to e-mail me at: toxicrev@yahoo.com |
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| "Las Vegas Crime Lab, how may I help you?" "Is Gil Grissom in, please?" "I'm sorry, Mr. Grissom is out on assignment right now, would you like to leave a message?" "No, thank you. I'll try back later." Elizabeth Wilson hung up the phone, tears threatening to fall. Every time she got up the nerve to call Gil, he was out on assignment. It was almost as if he had buried himself in his work. She didn't blame him - she had done the same thing after moving to Boston in the middle of the night, a coward's way of ending eight months of happiness. Slowly, she walked toward the one room in her rented house that allowed her any peace from the guilt that nagged at her constantly. Gillian lay in her crib, her tiny hand curled into a fist. Her eyes were closed and she was sleeping contentedly. It still amazed Elizabeth that this tiny human being was something she had helped to create. Despite being a doctor, despite assisting in deliveries, it was a different feeling to hold your own child. Reaching down, she held the back of her fingers just above Gillian's face, feeling the air moving in and out of the tiny lungs. She gently let her fingers brush the baby's cheek, then put both hands back on the railing to watch. Her friends and her parents had remarked on how much Gillian looked like her mother. Elizabeth supposed it was true, but every time she looked at her daughter, she saw the father - in her smile, in some of her expressions. That was the reason for the guilt. Elizabeth still hadn't told Gil he was a father. To be honest, she hadn't known she was pregnant when she left him. She didn't know if it would have made a difference in that final argument - if she would have stayed in Las Vegas or if he would have come to Boston with her. For all she knew, nothing would have changed. They still might have gone their separate ways, and Gillian would have grown up being shuttled back and forth from one parent to another on holidays and school vacations. Elizabeth hadn't told anyone she was pregnant even after she found out. For a while, she hugged the knowledge to herself - a secret part of Gil she carried with her, beyond the photographs and memories. She still loved him deeply, but she wasn't sure she could give up her dreams to return to Las Vegas. And because she loved him, she didn't want to force him to leave his job and his dreams by telling him about the baby. She had been caught in a catch-.22, and so she had stayed silent. Now, though, she questioned the wisdom of her decision. How much of Gillian's life would Gil miss before she told him? How angry would he be when he found out? She couldn't imagine that Gil would try to take Gillian away from her, but she was wary anyway. Gillian meant so much to her now - a bond had formed between mother and daughter the moment she had first held her. She would do anything for Gillian, anything to protect her. Gil worked in the seedy side of Las Vegas, dealing with crimes and criminals and the unsavory elements that went with the job of being a crime scene investigator. She didn't want her little girl exposed to that side of life. She wanted to shelter her as much as possible from all that was bad in the world. And yet, protecting her from that meant keeping her from her father. Meant denying Gillian the chance to have Gil around to scare away monsters under the bed and teach her how to ride a bike, to watch her in school plays and look forbidding when she went out on her first date. Somewhere, deep down, Elizabeth knew she had to tell Gil, to give him the chance to be Gillian's father. That's why she kept calling him - at home, at work. But either he was never there or he wasn't answering his phone. She'd hurt him by leaving so abruptly, she knew it. Not even a good-bye note, she'd just packed her things as he slept and driven off into the sunrise, crying the whole time. Elizabeth kissed her fingers and brushed them lightly over Gillian's hair. The baby didn't stir, and Elizabeth left the room, going back to her own bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed, dialing a number she'd called many times from the hospital in Vegas. His answering machine picked up. "Hi, this is Gil. Leave a message." Elizabeth set the phone down in her lap, whispering through her tears. "Hi Gil, it's me. I just wanted to let you know we have a beautiful baby daughter. I named her Gillian, after you. I love you." |
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