Secrets and Lies - by kyrdwyn and wykdwin

Jana sat in a chair in the waiting room, weighing her options. She had promised Lexi confidentiality, but now the woman’s mental health was in question. Jana had a strong feeling Lexi’s emotional amnesia was a response to the repercussions of the investigation she’d hired Jana to do. And to Jana, Lexi was more than just a client - she was a friend.

There was also Nash to consider. Looking at him as he sat with his hand covering his face, Jana could see how upset he was. Closing her eyes, Jana tried to think about what she would want if the roles were switched and Lexi was the P.I., Jana in the hospital, and Gil looking like his world had been shattered because Jana didn’t remember him. Jana knew what she would want - she would want Lexi to tell the truth and help her remember so she could end Gil’s pain. Saying a quick prayer, and mentally asking Lexi for forgiveness, Jana took in a breath and spoke quietly.

“Lexi came to me a few days ago, asking me to investigate someone for her.”

Nash looked up, his blue eyes troubled. “Sara Sidle,” he stated quietly.

Jana nodded. “She wanted to know about your history with Sara. I had some reservations, because of Gil, but I took the case and went to San Francisco.”

“Something tells me you got more than you bargained for,” Nash hinted at Sara’s other secret past lover. He heard her sharp intake of air, and the quick flash of anger cross her face. “Tell me, Ms. Stevens, was it worth it? I suppose she offered you a large sum of money to prioritize her case, and now a lot of lives are being ruined because of it.” Nash was lashing out at her, trying to focus his anger elsewhere.

“Captain Bridges, need I remind you that if you had been up front and honest with your girlfriend in the first place, she would have never hired me? Maybe you should place some of the blame where it belongs. I care about her too, and trust me, if you had heard her story last night, you would know that this is about a lot more than you and Sara Sidle.”

“Spare me the melodrama, I know more about Lexi’s history than you do. You’ve known her a few days, I’ve known her a few months.” Nash’s face started to fall, “Unfortunately neither of us knew her well enough to see the signs. Except Nick.” He paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “So tell me, where does he fit in to this picture?”

“What? You can’t figure that part out?” she sighed heavily. “Competition, Captain, competition. Lexi ran into him somewhere, and they started talking. Once she found out he was a CSI...”

“She figured it would get back to me,” Nash concluded. He chuckled softly. “I’ll tell you, she knows how to pull my strings.” Looking across at Jana he spoke softly, “So she hired you, and found out about Sara’s past. She decides to make me jealous, and instead ends up here. There is something I’m not getting here.”

“She knows you’ve been at Sara’s, Nick let it slip.”

“This can’t be all about Sara. This has to go back farther, but I can’t believe it’s all about our recent problems.”

“I think it’s everything. I wasn’t happy with my extra information. She knew that.”

Nash closed his eyes, not wanting to think about all that Lexi was going through. “She internalized everything. She always blamed herself. Drinking was her most effective way of numbing the pain, at least, so I thought.”

“Apparently it just numbed, not made her forget.”

She doesn’t have that problem now, he thought. He looked at Jana. “What I don’t understand is why that point in time? Why did she go back three years? Is she blocking out everything from now to Andrew’s death to her divorce? Why would her pregnancy be the safe time she goes back to?”

She knew what he meant. If she had been so happy with Nash, why forget all of that and remember a period of her life where she nearly died? Jana wondered that as well. “What about her roommate? Should you call Kathy?” Jana was hoping maybe Kat could answer some questions.

Nash hadn’t even thought of calling Kat, and now the idea gave him mixed emotions. Kat wouldn’t help him, she’d be on the next flight down here to take care of things herself. “Maybe,” Nash hesitated. “Maybe you should call Nick?”

Jana nodded and the two reached for their cell phones. As Nash dialed Lexi’s home number, Jana stepped outside to make her call. Kat wasn’t in, so Nash left a message for her to call him, and tried calling Joe instead, maybe he could track her down. Jana didn’t have to make her call, because as she was dialing the elevator doors opened and Nick stepped out, along with Sara and Gil.

At the sight of Sara, Jana tensed. The trio stopped, the glare they were getting was cold enough to freeze them in their tracks. Gil and Nick looked at Sara, Jana was looking directly at her. “Sara, I really don’t think you need to be here.”

Sara was surprised by the edge of hostility in Jana’s voice. “Nash is a friend of mine,” she protested.

Jana shot a quick glance at Gil and Nick. “Look, Lexi’s awake but there’s a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” Gil asked. He was surprised by Jana’s coldness toward Sara. As far as he knew, her anger was with him. Something else had to be going on, and it was frustrating being out of loop.

Jana sighed, slipping her cell phone back into her pocket. “She’s got a form of emotional amnesia. She doesn’t remember anything from the past three years. Not Nash, not me, not anything. The doctors think she’s reacting to severe emotional stress from the past few days and gone back to the last time she felt secure.”

Gil frowned. He’d heard of this before. “So why shouldn’t Sara be here?”

“Apparently, Jana thinks I’m part of Lexi’s emotional stress from the past few days,” Sara said. Jana nodded.

Nash came out of the waiting room just then, stopping when he saw the group clustered together. Jana and Sara were glaring at each other. Nick and Grissom looked dismayed. Nash went over to them.

“I couldn’t reach Kat. I’ve got a friend of mine tracking her down.” He looked around at the group. “Did you tell them?”

“She did. She also said she didn’t think I should be here,” Sara said, not taking her eyes off Jana.

Nash sighed, running his hand over his face. “To be honest Sara, I have to agree with Jana.” When Sara began to protest, he held up his hand to stop her. “Hell, Sara, I don’t know if any of us should be here.” He turned and looked towards Lexi’s door. “So far, none of us have been much help.”

“I want to know what’s going on!” Nick demanded. “She was fine at dinner the other night, and then today she’s practically catatonic!”

Now it was Gil’s turn to sigh, “Everyone, let’s just calm down. We’re all worried about Lexi, and right now Nash and Jana are the only two who know the whole story. Sara, if they feel you shouldn’t be here...”

Sara turned to glare at her boss. He was looking at Jana, who had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking at the ground. Sara rolled her eyes. “We all drove over in the same car, Gris,” she pointed out.

“Then I’ll take you back to the lab so you can get your car,” Grissom said. “Nick?”

“I think Nick should stay,” Jana said. “He’s spent some time with Lexi over the past few days and can probably help fill in the blanks.”

“Fine.” Grissom turned back toward the elevator. “Coming, Sara?”

* * * * *

On the way back to the lab, Sara sat in hostile silence. Grissom wasn’t sure what to do. Finally he decided to break the silence.

“Jana knows about the two of us. In San Francisco.”

Sara sighed. “I know, I overheard the two of you arguing earlier.”

Grissom frowned. “I think she might have been investigating you, but I can’t figure out why.”

Sara bit her lip. At this point she was not happy with Jana, so she really wasn’t feeling any need to protect her. “Lexi probably hired Jana to look into my background, especially concerning Nash. If she talked to any of my colleagues in the crime lab they would have told her about me and Nash as well as you and I.”

Grissom shook his head. “Why would Jana take a case like that where she was personally involved?”

Sara rolled her eyes. Grissom sounded more puzzled than angry that his girlfriend had been investigating her. “Who knows, Gris? Jana’s not exactly the easiest person to figure out. I mean, look at the two of you - the definition of a love/hate relationship.” Grissom frowned at Sara. “So why did you not tell Jana?”

“I thought she was asking about Catherine.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, Gris - Nash and I were a long time ago. I don’t know why Lexi would be so upset about it.”

“I think there’s a lot more to this than just you, Sara. Hopefully Nash, Jana, and maybe Nick can figure this out.”

He pulled up in front of the lab, but didn’t turn off the ignition. “Are you going back to the hospital?” Sara asked. Grissom nodded. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“No. But I need to talk to Jana, and I doubt she’s leaving until she knows Lexi’s okay.”

* * * * *

Jana, Nash, and Nick were standing in the hallway, Grissom and Sara having just left. “God, I could use some coffee,” Jana remarked.

Nick looked at her. “Me too. Captain?” he looked at Nash.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Nick turned to head down to the cafeteria. “Hey Nick, get one for Grissom too. He’ll be back,” Jana said with a half-smile. Nick smiled and nodded.

Nash turned to Jana. “God, what the hell is going on?”

The private investigator shrugged. “I wish I knew.”

They returned to the waiting room, Jana sitting on the edge of a seat while Nash paced around. His cell phone rang.

“Yeah.”

“Uh, bubba, I found Kat. You, uh, might want to meet her down in the ER so that the doctors can get you fast.” Joe’s voice held dual notes of amusement and concern.

Nash closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “She’s on her way down?”

“I just dropped her at the airport. Didn’t think she should be driving in the mood she was in.”

“What flight is she on?” Joe gave him the information. “Right, thanks.” Nash hung up his cell phone and turned to Jana. “Her roommate is on her way to Las Vegas. I guess I should go meet her at the airport.”

Jana raised an eyebrow. “Lexi said that Kathy isn’t all the fond of you. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Nash’s mouth quirked at the corner. “Sister, you have mastered the art of understatement. But who else is going to pick Kat up? You?”

“No, but I can ask Grissom.”

“We could send Nick.” Nash tried to smile. “Kat hates me, Nick hates me. I think they might get along.”

Jana managed a small smile. “At least you’re already at a hospital.”

Nash raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you’ve never met Kat?”

“No, but I can imagine. You just need to remember that right now she may be the best thing for Lexi. At least she’ll know Kathy.”

“So who do we send to bring in the tiger?” Nash asked as Nick walked back in with the coffee.

“Tiger?” Nick asked as he handed Nash his coffee.

“Lexi’s roommate,” Jana supplied. “She’s flying down here. But she won’t be here for at least a couple hours.”

“So then, we just wait?” Nick felt the need to do more.

Nash looked at him. He was still uncomfortable having Nick there, but grateful that he had at least found Lexi. Who knows what could have happened if he hadn’t found her. “Unless you have a magic spell,” Nash remarked.

“Obviously you don’t,” Nick remarked.

Jana saw the tension building. “Maybe I should find Dr. Reed, see if he can tell us anything more. Until then, we just need to think positively. Nick, why don’t you come with me?”

She stepped between the two men, and touched Nick’s arm. Nick finally relented and followed her out the door. Out in the hallway she turned to him. “Look, Nick, I know we are all dealing with our own feelings and reactions to this. We all care about Lexi, which is why we shouldn’t be looking to place the blame anywhere. I don’t know how well you know her, but this is about more than this past week. I think this week just happened to be the final straw. Nash is hurting enough, without you taking it out on him. And from what I hear about Lexi’s roommate, he’s going to suffer enough once she gets here.”

Nick looked away, before nodding. He managed to smile slightly. “You sounded a lot like Grissom just now.”

Her glare faded after a second. “I won’t hold that against you. There’s Dr. Reed.”

Simon Reed came up to them. “Ms. Stevens.”

“Dr. Reed?” Nick extended his right hand. “I’m Nick Stokes, I found Lexi.”

Dr. Reed shook his hand. “Mr. Stokes, I’m glad you’re here. I believe Dr. Rogers may want to speak with you.” He motioned towards the waiting room. “Shall we?”

When the door opened, Nash turned away from the window. “Dr. Reed?” he asked expectantly.

“Ms. Lee is stable, she’s sleeping now. She will probably sleep through the night. I’d suggest that you may want to go home and do the same. Until she wakes up, and we find out where and when she thinks she is, there’s not a lot you can do. Dr. Rogers will want to talk with you, particularly Mr. Stokes. She is actually in with Ms. Lee right now, and should be down here shortly.”

“Kathleen Connor is on a flight down here,” Nash told the doctor. “She should be here in a few hours. Kat is..”

“Her friend she was asking for,” Dr. Reed nodded. “I’ll be sure to tell Dr. Rogers.”

“Tell Dr. Rogers what?” She asked from the doorway where she stood.

“Kathleen Connor is on a flight to Las Vegas. Mr. Stokes here is the gentleman who found our patient.”

“I’m actually glad to hear that, Ms. Connor may be the most helpful factor in Lexi’s recovery. Lexi remembers her, and apparently feels safe with her. Right now she’s sleeping, very peacefully. I’m going to wait until she wakes up, then will determine the need for an MRI.”

“Why an MRI? She’s not hurt,” Nick asked.

“An MRI while she’s awake can help us determine any possible damage done to the brain tissue, and see which lobes are active. I’m sure Dr. Reed told you that everything else looks good. You may want to go home and rest, there’s not much else you can do here. If anything changes, we will notify you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nash informed the doctors. “I’ll be right here if you want to update me.”

The doctors nodded, and Dr. Rogers added, “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for any of you to actually go in the room. When Ms. Connor arrives, please have the nurse’s station notify me.”

Again Nash and Jana were left in the room, this time with Nick. They all retreated to separate sections of the room, not speaking. Neither Nick nor Nash wanted to bring up the situation in front of the other, and Jana didn’t feel like starting any trouble. After some time had passed, there was a knock. Grissom opened the door, and hesitantly looked in. Noticing the tension, he asked warily, “Any news?”

All three sets of eyes were on him as he stepped into the room. “Not really,” Jana replied, looking at the other two men in the room. “You know what, I could use some fresh air. Nash, why don’t Gil and I pick up Kathy? Her flight should be coming in during the next hour, right?”

Nash nodded and told her the flight information. “Thanks Jana, Gil. She’ll be the short angry woman with reddish-blond hair, cursing under her breath in a British accent.”

Jana attempted a smile. “We’ll be back as soon as possible.” She took Gil by the arm and led him back into the hallway.

“Jana, what are we doing?”

“We are going to get a bite to eat and talk and then go pick up Lexi’s roommate. Neither Nash nor Nick is about to leave here and I think it would be best if someone who had some clue of what was going on met her at the airport, rather than have her take a cab here.” They had gotten onto the elevator and were heading down to street level where Jana’s car was.

“Why is her roommate flying in?”

“Because Lexi does remember her and from what the psychiatrist said, she feels safe with her and that’s important to getting Lexi’s memory back.”

Gil nodded. “Where are we going to eat?”

Jana started the car. “I don’t care. We just really need to talk.”

“About us?” he asked, turning to see how she reacted.

“Yeah, about us.” Her face didn’t change and she kept her eyes on the road.

Gil stayed silent, debating on telling Jana that he knew she had been investigating Sara. They headed out toward the airport. He spotted a familiar sign and gestured. “How about there?”

Jana looked over at the sign then at Gil. “You hate Taco Bell.”

“I know, but it’s fast and close to the airport and it looks deserted.”

Jana sighed and changed lanes. “Okay. But just remember to stay away from the Fire sauce this time.”

“I just wanted to know how hot the Fire sauce was,” he said with a sheepish smile.

Jana shook her head. “You are such a nerd.”

They got out of the car and headed into the restaurant. They chose a back corner booth, far away from the other patrons of the restaurant.

Jana picked at her taco salad. “I met Lexi Lee when she hired me to look into Sara’s history in San Francisco. Specifically, she wanted to know about Sara and Nash. She offered triple my rate for getting the information within 36 hours.”

“Did she know about your connection to Sara?” Gil asked.

Jana shook her head. “No, but I told her - that I had worked in the lab, that I knew Sara and was still close with other members of the unit. She didn’t think it mattered, and neither did I, since she only wanted to know about Sara’s time in San Francisco. Besides,” Jana said softly, “I could see the pain in her eyes when she mentioned Nash’s name.”

Gil sighed. Jana often took on cases where women were being cheated on or lied to by their husbands or boyfriends - it was a reaction to her past, the attack by Marcus Jackson. “You didn’t give any thought to how I would feel, when I found out you were investigating a friend of mine?”

“Actually, I knew you would be furious. And you have every right to be - I probably shouldn’t have taken that case. I sure found out more than I really wanted to know.”

“I’m still sorry about that, Jana. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I didn’t even realize I was.”

“I know, Gil. And I shouldn’t have taken that case - god, look what it’s done to Lexi.” Jana let her fork fall into her salad and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “Lexi’s blood alcohol level was over twice the legal limit. After our fight, I went out drinking - met up with Lexi in a bar. We ended up back at my place drinking. Lexi knew about our fight and she was upset that her problems brought on ours.”

Gil reached out to run his hand down Jana’s arm. She dropped her hands and looked up at him. “I know how you are about troubled women, Jana; and I know how you are about keeping secrets for your clients. I just can’t handle you accusing me of not trusting you when you’re not going to trust me with the truth. I’m upset you took a case that involved investigating Sara - and not because of the fact we slept together. Because she’s a friend of mine and I thought she was a friend of yours. Was it the money?”

Jana glared at him. “No - it was the pain in her eyes.” She closed her eyes again and sighed. “And maybe a little of my own insecurities coming through. Sara’s young and pretty and she works with you. I’m a bitter, angry ex-CSI. And I’m still not sure at times why you love me.”

Gil reached out to take Jana’s hands in his. “I love you because you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you put up with me working odd hours and not calling, and you surprise me with the unexpected - like lunch at the office or being at my house when I get home. You run a successful business, you tell me when you think I’m being stupid, and for some reason I can’t fathom, you love me.”

Jana had stayed quiet while he spoke, but tears had welled in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Gil. I shouldn’t have taken this case. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you when I found out something I didn’t like.”

“And I should have told you about Sara, and not gotten mad that you found out. We can’t change what’s happened, Jana. But I don’t want this to end us.”

“Neither do I.”

They sat there for a few minutes, just looking at each other. “Forgive me?” Jana asked quietly, a tremor in her voice.

Gil let go of her hand and used his thumb to brush tears away from her cheek. “I forgive you. Forgive me?”

“Yes,” she said softy.

“God, I love you, Jana.”

“I love you, too, Gil,” she said with a smile. He picked up her other hand and kissed it. Jana blushed, then caught sight of her watch. “It’s almost time for Kathy’s flight. We should go.”

He heard the reluctance in her voice and understood it. But Jana was still worried about Lexi, and now Gil understood why - Jana felt guilty over Lexi feeling guilty. He stood and started to collect their trash. “Do you want to take that with you?” he asked, nodding toward Jana’s salad.

She stood up and shook her head. “No, the smell is making me nauseous for some reason.”

“Probably because you eat here so much.”

Jana smiled as she handed him her car keys. “But they’re open late, and that’s when I’m working.”

Gil shook his head as they got into the car. “Remind me to not join you on a stake out.”

* * * * *

The flight from San Francisco to Las Vegas wasn’t very crowded. Jana and Gil stood in the waiting area at the gate, watching the passengers trickle off. Gil, being taller, spotted a woman matching Nash’s description of Lexi’s roommate carrying a small bag. He waited until she drew closer to them.

“Kathleen Connor?”

The woman stopped and gave Gil an icy glare. “Who the hell are you?”

Jana stepped forward. “Ms. Connor, my name is Jana Stevens. I’m a friend of Lexi’s. I thought you might like a ride to the hospital.”

Kat shifted her gaze to Jana. “I know Lexi’s friends, and I don’t know you.”

“She and I met a few days ago. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but Lexi told me how close you two are, and how you could have been her sister.”

Kat stiffened at Jana’s oblique reference to Andrew. If this Jana Stevens knew that much, she must know Lexi. “Where’s Captain Bridges?”

Jana heard the dislike in the woman’s voice. “He’s at the hospital.”

“Well, at least he’s doing something right.” She looked at the couple staring at her, and motioned towards the door. “Well, don’t just stand there, let’s go.”

Gil glanced at Jana, who merely shrugged and turned to leave, following Kat down the corridor. Gil trailed behind, amused.

The ride to the hospital was tense. Jana filled Kat in on what she knew about Lexi’s condition, saying that Kat would need to talk to the psychiatrist who was treating Lexi.

Kat stayed silent for a moment. Gil glanced at her in the rearview mirror. The woman was clearly worried about her friend, tears showing in her eyes. But when she spoke, he could tell she was trying not to let it get to her.

“How did you meet Lexi?”

“I’m a private investigator. Lexi hired me to look into a matter. We spent some time together afterwards.”

“Bonding over the bottle?” Kat asked archly.

Jana nodded. “We both had issues and found each other to be sympathetic listeners.”

Kat’s eyes met Grissom’s in the mirror. “What about you? How you do know Lexi?”

“I’ve never met Miss Lee. I’m here because of Jana,” he replied. “I have met Captain Bridges, though. He and I were working together on a case that involved both our jurisdictions.”

Kat snorted. “I don’t want to talk about that man, thank you very much.”

Jana shot Gil a look, and he let the subject drop as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. The three of them hurried into the building and over to the elevators. Gil took Jana’s hand on the way up to Lexi’s floor, squeezing it reassuringly. She looked up at him with a grateful smile.

Jana led the way down the hall to the nurse’s station. A redheaded nurse was on duty. “May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m Jana Stevens. This is Kathleen Connor, a friend of Ms. Webb’s,” she said, gesturing to the woman next to her. “Dr. Rogers asked to be notified when Ms. Connor had arrived.”

The nurse nodded and picked up the phone. “I’ll call her right now.”

“Thank you,” Jana said, turning to cut off a protesting Kat. “Dr. Rogers wants to fill you in herself on Lexi’s condition. That way you’ll be in a better position to help Lexi. I know you want to see her, but I heard her freak out before when she awoke and didn’t know what was happening.”

Kat subsided. “Fine, but the doctor better get here soon, or I’m going to go in anyway.”

Jana nodded, understanding perfectly. Kat sat down in a chair close to the nurse’s station, looking down the hall. Her head turned when a door opened, and her eyes narrowed as Nash and Nick came out of the waiting room.

* * * * *

Nash and Nick had managed to be cordial, discussing anything but Lexi. Nick updated him on the case, letting him know it was closed. Now that Nash had noticed Kat, Nick noticed him stiffen. The woman looking at him narrowed her eyes. “Kat,” Nash started towards her.

“Cap,” she glared, as Dr. Rogers came through the doorway.

“Ms. Connor?” When Kat nodded, the doctor continued. “I’m Dr. Rogers, if you’d come with me, I’ll be happy to fill you in.”

She threw Nash another dirty look and informed him, “I’ll deal with you later,” before following the psychologist down the hall.

Nick and Gil both looked sympathetically at Nash, while Jana watched Kat question the doctor. Nash bit his lip, and shook his head. “If it helps,” he shrugged.

* * * * *

Kat listened carefully as Dr. Rogers gave her diagnosis, and her hopes for Kat to be able to assist in a recovery. “My biggest fear is if she doesn’t recall any of her friends here, that it could impede any positive recovery issues. I would never release her to someone she didn’t feel comfortable with. Has Lexi ever been hospitalized before for a mental illness?”

“No,” Kat shook her head and looked through the door window at her friend. “Her sister is currently institutionalized in Texas. Didn’t Captain Bridges tell you that?”

“He did, I just wondered if maybe...” Dr. Rogers started.

“I knew more. She has an addictive personality, dependency issues. She received counseling after her brother died, court ordered.”

The doctor nodded. “Captain Bridges told me about her counseling. She had a hard time dealing with Andrew’s death, from what I understand.”

“We all did,” Kat looked down. “He was a special man. He made Lexi feel safe.” She looked down the hall. “So did Cap, when they started dating.”

“He told me about their recent problems.” The doctor noticed the animosity in Kat’s expression. “He places much of the guilt on himself. Dr. Reed told me that when Lexi didn’t recognize him, he was crushed.”

“Good,” Kat commented. “He should have been.” She looked at the doctor. “So she’s sleeping, synthetically induced. Are we just waiting until she wakes up?”

“Yes, but if you don’t mind, I’d like you to tell me more about the time period Lexi has regressed to. And what has happened since.”

Kat nodded, and started to talk.

* * * * *

Nash had remained in the hallway, even after the others had gone back in the waiting room. He watched Kat and Dr. Rogers talk to each other, and worried. Finally they disappeared into Lexi’s room, and a few minutes later, Dr. Rogers emerged alone. She looked down the hall and saw Nash pacing there. He stopped as she approached. “Captain Bridges,” she sighed. “She’s still asleep, Ms. Connor is sitting bedside. And as much as the hallway needs some wear and tear, there is really nothing you can do but wait. If you would feel more comfortable waiting at your hotel...” She trailed off, noticing he was staring down the hall past her.

“No, there’s no place else I should be.” He paused. “I should’ve been there a few weeks ago.”

“Blaming yourself isn’t going to help either. I strongly believe that internalizing self-blame is what caused Lexi’s break-down. I don’t want to deal with another emotional trauma tonight,” she smiled slightly, trying to relax him.

“Do you really believe Kat will be the key?”

She sighed. “I don’t know for sure what the key is. The mind is a tricky thing, and emotions are even more so. All I know is that she is the only link that Lexi has between now and where she believes herself to be. It’s a security issue, which I’m hoping will trigger the lost memories to be recovered.”

He nodded. She looked down the hall, following his gaze. “If you would like to discuss your feelings, or work through your issues with this, I’m here. For any of you. I have never had to be in your shoes, but I have dealt with these cases before. It can sometimes be as traumatic to the family and friends as it is to the patient.”

Nash looked at the doctor, and thanked her, before returning to the waiting room. Nick was on his feet the moment the door opened. Jana and Gil had looked up expectantly as well. He shook his head. “Kat’s in there now. Dr. Rogers said all we can do is wait.” Pausing, he looked at them. “I appreciate you all being here, and I know Lexi would too.” He stopped again, trying to maintain his composure. “I also know how uncomfortable these chairs are, so if anybody would prefer to go home....”

“No way,” Nick shook his head. “I’m staying. I’m not leaving until I know she’s okay. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.”

Nash tried not to be angry with Nick. He was an innocent bystander who was sucked into the problem. Nash knew he should be grateful, but he couldn’t quite muster that emotion yet. Grissom was looking at Jana, who was shaking her head. “You shouldn’t be here alone,” she said. “And we all want to be here.”

Grissom tried to smile at the police captain. “I guess you’re stuck with us.”

Nash gave a half-smile and nodded. He sat down in a chair, and leaned his head back against the wall. So now we wait, he thought.

* * * * *

“Kat?” Lexi’s voice was soft and raspy as she woke the next morning, blinking at her friend.

“Good morning sunshine,” Kat lifted her head to look at her.

“You did something with your hair,” Lexi looked at her, tilting her head to one side and squinting. “It’s shorter, and not as blond.”

“I know,” Kat nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Lexi smiled wearily. “Am I still in the hospital?”

Kat closed her eyes and nodded. “Do you mind if I tell the doctor that you’re awake?”

Lexi shook her head. “I suppose you need to.”

Kat nodded and crossed to the door, “I’ll be right back.”

Kat returned a moment later with a red-haired nurse. “Good morning Ms. Lee, my name is Tammy. I hope you slept well,” the nurse addressed her.

The nurse checked her vitals, asking her questions about how she felt. Dr. Rogers came in a moment later. “Good morning Lexi, how are we feeling today?”

“A little tired,” Lexi smiled. “I’m trying to remember, like you asked me too.”

“You recognized Kathleen though, didn’t you?”

“Kat? Yes.”

Dr. Rogers nodded. “Then let’s talk.”

* * * * *

It had been hours since the nurse Tammy had come in to notify them that Lexi was awake, and Dr. Rogers was in with her. Jana and Gil had made a cafeteria run, but Nash couldn’t eat. Nick had decided to see what kind of information he could get from the nurse, and Gil had excused himself. Nash and Jana sat in the room alone. “Why aren’t they telling us anything? She’s been awake for nearly four hours. What is going on in there?”

Jana watched Nash pace. These were the first words he’d spoken since the nurse had come in. “I don’t know Nash, maybe they’re working with her. We just have to hope that right now, no news right is good news.”

He sat down next to her and touched her arm. “I just wanted to say thank you, for being there for Lex.”

Jana looked at him, and touched his hand. “I still am.”

Grissom returned just then, and raised an eyebrow at the sight. Nash stood up and moved to the seat across the way. The door opened and Kat came in. She looked briefly at Nash before turning to Jana. “She wants to talk to you, Ms. Stevens,” she said, holding the door open. Nash had stood up again, and Kat shook her head at him before closing the door behind her.

“At least she remembered Jana,” Grissom offered.

“But she still doesn’t want to see me,” Nash paced in front of the window, waiting for someone to return.

* * * * *

Jana noted Nick was leaving Lexi’s room as she got down the hall. “She asked for Nick?” she asked Kat.

Kat nodded. “Her memory is coming back, but she’s not ready to deal with Nash just yet. Doctor figured leave him for last.”

Nick gave Jana an optimistic smile as he passed her in the hall. She hesitated at the door, noting that Nick didn’t return to the waiting room, he stopped at the nurse’s station instead. She walked in and shuddered. Lexi was sitting up, but was hooked up to various monitors. Dr. Rogers sat in the corner away from her, and nodded as Jana walked in. Kat had stayed in the hall, and Lexi smiled lazily. “I’m not contagious,” she assured Jana.

Jana smiled. “I know. I’m just...I’m not fond of hospitals after....” She trailed off, not sure what was safe to say and what wasn’t. Lexi nodded. “Dr. Rogers can reassure you that amnesia isn’t catching.”

The blonde crossed to her, and sat down. “Are you feeling better?” she asked.

“Slowly, but surely.” Lexi looked at the doctor. “I remember hiring you. I remember the other night. Some details are still fuzzy.” She looked down at her hands. “I remember that my case caused you pain and trouble. With Gil?” she looked up questioningly.

Jana nodded slowly and looked over at the doctor, unsure if she should tell Lexi everything or let the woman remember on her own. The doctor was watching Lexi.

“You found out something about Gil and Sara while looking into her background for me......they’d had a relationship and he hadn’t told you?” Lexi looked troubled. “You’d confronted him about it, argued with him.”

“Yes. That’s when we met at the bar, and finished drinking at my house.”

“I caused your problems, asking you to investigate Sara, tripling your fee so you would take it and prioritize it.”

Jana reached forward to take Lexi’s hand. “No, Lexi. I was already insecure enough about our relationship - do you remember what I told you about my history?” The brunette nodded. “I didn’t take your case because of the money, Lex. Honestly, I took it because I wanted to know about Sara’s background. I guess I thought of her as competition.”

Lexi looked at Jana. “But if I hadn’t hired you....”

“One thing I’ve learned over the years, Lexi, is that second guessing the past causes nothing but trouble. I spent five years mad at Gil, thinking that if he hadn’t kept me on that case, if he hadn’t sent me to that house, etc. I wasted those five years with my anger.”

“But now you’re mad at him again,” Lexi started to protest.

Jana smiled. “No, I’m not. We’ve talked. You remember telling me to tell him that I was investigating Sara? I told him. I did have to tell him it was for you, but Gil won’t say anything. He wasn’t happy with me, but we both realized we were wrong. We reconciled.”

Lexi searched Jana’s face, seeing the truth in the woman’s eyes. She was back with Gil, and happy. Lexi felt a little bit of the guilt lift from her shoulders. She squeezed Jana’s hand. “I’m glad. I hated thinking that I had ruined your relationship. I...it’s hard for me to make friends, and I really liked you.”

“I think of you as a friend, Lexi. And I never thought you were responsible for what happened between me and Gil.”

Lexi smiled. “Thank you.”

Jana nodded. In the corner, Dr. Rogers cleared her throat. Jana looked over and the woman smiled. “I think Lexi needs her rest now. Unless you would like to see Captain Bridges?”

Lexi looked down. “I don’t know,” she said softly. She looked over at Jana. The blonde woman shrugged.

“That’s up to you, Lexi. I think you need to see him, but only when you’re ready. Why don’t you talk with Dr. Rogers before you decide?” Jana suggested as she stood up.

Lexi became alarmed as Jana suddenly closed her eyes and swallowed convulsively. “Jana?” In the corner, Dr. Rogers sat forward.

Jana opened her eyes and sat back down, breathing a little shallowly. “I’m fine. I guess I just stood up too fast. Got a little dizzy, felt a little sick. I’ll be fine,” she said with a weak smile.

Furrowing her brow, Lexi looked at the doctor. “I...um...I don’t want to see Nash just yet.” She looked at Jana. “Maybe you can sit here with me for a moment, Jana. At least until I’m reassured I wasn’t contagious.”

Jana smiled at Lexi’s joke. “I don’t think you’re contagious, Lex. It’s probably the fast food I had for dinner.”

“Do you get these spells often, Ms. Stevens?” Dr. Rogers asked.

Jana shook her head. “No. Well, I was nauseous at dinner last night.” She frowned thoughtfully. “Actually, it happened while I was in San Francisco as well.”

“I’d like you to see one of the on-call doctors, Ms. Stevens, just to be on the safe side.”

When Jana shook her head in protest, Lexi spoke up. “Please, Jana? To make me feel better?”

Jana looked at Lexi. The woman really did look worried. “All right.”

Dr. Rogers got up and reached for the phone. “I’ll call Dr. Lane.”

Lexi and Jana chatted about trivial matters until Dr. Lane arrived. As Jana left with the doctor, Lexi watched worriedly. Dr Rogers noticed this and patted Lexi’s hand reassuringly. “Trust me, Jana will be fine. Are you sure you don’t wish to see Captain Bridges just yet?”

Lexi shook her head again. “Not right now. I need to think about some things.”

* * * * *

Nash’s pacing had finally gotten on Grissom’s nerves. Kat had been silently glaring at Nash for a while before excusing herself. Jana had been gone for about an hour. Grissom excused himself from the waiting room and went out into the hallway. He noticed Nick at the nurses’ station, smiling at the pretty redheaded nurse. He headed toward them. Nick noticed his boss and straightened up.

“Hey, Gris. Lex is recovering her memories slowly. She did remember me, and how we met. She’s a little fuzzy on some details, but Dr. Rogers says that’s normal.”

Grissom nodded. “Are you going to tell Nash?”

Nick scratched the side of his neck. “I, uh, hoped you could tell him. He and I, well....”

“I see. All right, I’ll tell him.” He turned and walked back into the waiting room. Nash turned around at the sound of the door opening, his anxious expression changing to disappointment as he saw it was just Grissom returning. He stopped pacing and looked at the other man. Grissom was looking at him. “You know something,” Nash stated.

“Lexi’s memory is a little fuzzy on details, but she does remember present events and people. Nick spoke with her, she remembered him and how they met.”

Nash looked down. “She’ll see Nick but she still doesn’t want to see me.”

Grissom stepped closer. “I don’t know that,” he said quietly. “I didn’t see Jana, so I assume she’s still in with Lexi.”

“Why didn’t she ask for me first? Why Nick?”

“The doctor said that Lexi was internalizing her emotions. It might be easier for her to deal with her feelings regarding Nick and Jana first, considering she’s just woken up,” Grissom tried to reassure Nash.

“Or she just doesn’t want to see me.”

Grissom didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say.

The door opened and an unfamiliar doctor stopped in the doorway. She looked from Nash to Grissom. “I’m Dr. Lane,” she said. “I’m looking for Gil Grissom.”

Grissom glanced at Nash then back at Dr. Lane. “I’m Gil Grissom. Is there a problem?”

Dr. Lane shook her head. “No, but I need you to come with me, please.”

Nash stepped forward, his hand raised. “Is this about Lexi?”

Dr. Lane frowned. “Lexi? No. This is another matter.”

“What is this about?”

“Mr. Grissom, please?”

Grissom looked at Nash. “I’ll be okay,” the captain said. “You go on.” Nash watched as Grissom followed the doctor out of the room. He hoped nothing was wrong.

* * * * *

Gil followed Dr. Lane down the hall, past the patient rooms to examining rooms. He was puzzled, but Dr. Lane seemed unwilling to tell him what was going on. She finally stopped outside an examining room and pushed open the door, gesturing for Gil to precede her.

He entered the room and stopped when he saw Jana sitting on the examining table, wearing a hospital gown. “Jana, are you okay?” he asked, hurrying to her.

She looked up at him and smiled. “I’m fine, Gil.”

He frowned. “What happened? Last I knew you went to talk to Lexi.”

Dr. Lane came forward. “Ms. Stevens became dizzy and nauseous when she stood up to leave. Dr. Rogers and Miss Lee were concerned and convinced Ms. Stevens to let me examine her.”

“Why was she dizzy?” Gil asked, looking at the doctor. “Illness? Injury?”

Dr. Lane shook her head. “No, Ms. Stevens is fine. She’s not sick, there’s no injury. We did discover what caused the dizziness, but I think I’ll let Ms. Stevens tell you herself.” Dr. Lane nodded at Jana and left the room.

Gil turned to Jana. She was still smiling and reached out to stroke his cheek. “What?” he asked, frustrated by the situation. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong, Gil. I’m pregnant.”

Gil stared at Jana, blinking in shock. “Pregnant?”

“Pregnant,” she said again. “You know, expecting, with child, in the family way, having a baby?”

Gil reached out and put his hands around Jana’s waist. “Pregnant,” he said softly, his blue eyes a little dazed. He looked up at her. “Did you know?”

She shook her head. He saw the worry in her blue eyes and moved closer to kiss her forehead. “Oh, Jana.”

“You are happy, aren’t you? I know we’ve never discussed children....”

Gil kissed her lips to stop her. “I’m thrilled.” He reached up to cup her face in his hands, a serious expression on his face. “Will you marry me? Please? Not because of the baby, but because I love you.”

Jana took in a quick breath. She looked into his eyes, saw the seriousness and his own worry that she might say no. She smiled. “Yes, I will marry you. As long as Elvis doesn’t perform the ceremony.”

Gil laughed and pulled her to him for a long, loving kiss.

* * * * *

Kat had returned to the waiting room, and looked at Nash, who was now covering the whole room with his strides. “Seems like you’ve been doing a lot of walking and not getting anywhere,” she commented.

Nash stopped, and regarded Lexi’s friend. “Kat, I know you want to lecture me, so go ahead, but remember I’m not in the mood.”

Kat crossed to the window, and started to speak. “Listen, Bridges, I admit that I’m very overprotective of Lex, and maybe even a bit jealous. I worry about her, she’s been used and abused a lot in the past, and I don’t like to see her go through it. I was ready to kill you when your friend found me.” She turned to him and smiled. “And I could kick your ass without even smearing my eyeliner, bubba.” He raised his eyebrow at her, but she continued, “I love Lexi, she’s a big part of my world. That’s mainly my fault. We both had a lot to deal with after Andy died, neither of us dealt well. She was a mopey, drinking mess for awhile, and then she went through the fake happy stage, and then she met you. She’s crazy about you, you know?”

She waited for Nash’s reaction. He nodded, and she echoed it. “If she wasn’t crazy about you, then she wouldn’t be here. This trip was important to her. She felt that you hated her for the Robert/Penthouse issues. She was hoping to use this for ‘romantic rebonding.’ And then Sara showed up.”

“Sara is....” Nash started to explain. But Kat held up her hand and shook her head at him.

“I already know about Sara. You should have told Lex the truth in the first place. You should know by now that if she doesn’t know, she imagines the worst. Especially after the way you acted. And I’m not even going to get into the whole showgirl comment. My point is that you called me to be there for Lex, when it should have been you.”

“Kat, she didn’t remember me!” he reminded her.

“Nash,” Kat looked him in the eye, “You should have been there a long time ago. Instead of getting angry and not working it out. I never thought I would meet anyone as stubborn as Lex....until I met you. In case you also haven’t noticed, you both have some serious control issues. You two were trouble the day you met. I saw it, Dominguez saw it, the whole band knew it, but the two of you didn’t. You just saw each other. Now you need to ask yourself if she’s worth the trouble that she is, or if you should just get out while the getting is good.”

With that thought, she left him alone. After awhile the door opened again. “Kat, just leave me alone.”

“Okay,” Lexi’s voice came from behind him. “Sorry.”

He spun around and tears sprung to his eyes. She was still in the hospital gown, and she still looked tired, but she was there. And she was starting to leave. “Lex?” he choked out.

She looked up, her dark eyes filled with worry. “I’m sorry, Nash. I never meant to put you through this.”

Nash crossed the room in three strides, and took her into his arms. “Are you supposed to be up walking around?” he whispered into her hair.

Lexi started to cry silently as he held her to him. She nodded, and he kissed the top of her head. “Oh god, Lex, I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t mean to...” his voice trailed off.

They stood there, holding on to each other, afraid to speak. Finally, Nash tipped her face up, and gazed into her eyes. “I care about you a lot. I can’t tell you how worried I was.”

She smiled apologetically at him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just.....” She frowned when she couldn’t say what she wanted to. “I care about you too.”

“Are they keeping you overnight again?” he asked after some silence.

“No, the doctors are doing the release papers now. They think I need to see a therapist on a regular basis, to deal with everything I haven’t been.” She looked up at him again. “Do you think you could date a crazy lady?”

“Lady,” he told her, “I’m crazy..about you.” He leaned down and kissed her.

* * * * *

Gil and Jana returned to the waiting room, looking oddly pleased with themselves, just as Lexi was being wheeled out of her room by a nurse. Nash was looking on with amusement as Lexi was complaining about the wheelchair.

“What’s going on?” Gil asked.

“They’re releasing Lexi.”

“Jana!” Lexi called out. “Are you all right?”

Jana smiled warmly. “I’m fine. Dr. Lane says it’s nothing to be concerned about and it will pass. Can we give you a ride somewhere?”

Lexi looked at Nash. He looked over at Gil. “We were hoping that you and Jana would join us for dinner, actually.”

“We’d love to,” Jana replied. Gil looked at her questioningly. “What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said, though Nash could see the man had obviously had other ideas for the evening.

Gil handed the keys to the Tahoe over to Nick, who was waiting for Tammy to finish her shift. Kat had already taken a cab over to her hotel. Gil brought Jana’s car around to the entrance and the four of them got in, bickering over where to go.

They ended up in the steakhouse at Circus Circus. Jana wanted to know how the case had turned out, and Gil let her in on some of the details. The conversation turned to a spirited discussion of Las Vegas and San Francisco, and which town was better. A truce was called when neither couple would give ground on their home towns.

While they were lingering over coffee and dessert, Jana leaned over and whispered in Gil’s ear. He looked back at her and put his arm around her, whispering a reply. She smiled.

“I don’t know about you, Lex, but I think they’re plotting something.”

Lexi laughed. “Hey! No secrets.”

Jana shook her head and picked up her water glass. “Not a secret, not a plot. Just asking him a question.”

Nash shook his head. “Why do I not trust that smile on your face, Ms. Stevens?”

Gil nudged her. “Go on, tell them.”

“All right, all right!” Jana laughed. “Lexi, you were concerned earlier about my health. I’m fine, I’m just pregnant.”

Lexi and Nash looked at her, stunned. Gil leaned over to kiss the top of Jana’s head. Lexi grinned. “That’s wonderful!” she said, reached across the table to take Jana’s hand. “When are you due?”

“Dr. Lane says I’m almost six weeks along, so sometime in August.”

Nash looked over at Gil. “Are you sure you’re ready for fatherhood, Bubba?”

“Do I have a choice?” Gil smiled. He gazed adoringly at Jana. “I’m as ready as I can be.”

“Well then, congratulations,” Nash reached his hand across for Gil to shake.

Jana looked at Gil, who nodded again. “There’s something else. We’re getting married. Tonight. And, well, we were wondering if you would witness for us.”

“Us?” Lexi looked at Nash. “We’d be honored,” Nash told them.

Jana and Gil smiled. “Great!”

“Will Elvis be there?” Nash asked.

“Not on your life.” Jana replied. “Just because I live in Vegas doesn’t mean that I have to live up to the motto.”

“What motto?” Lexi asked, puzzled.

Jana grinned. “Las Vegas - Eat, drink, and be married by Elvis.”

* * * * *

It was a simple ceremony. They found an Elvis-free wedding chapel and Jana and Gil said their vows with Lexi and Nash looking on. As the ceremony ended, Nash’s cell phone rang. Lexi gave him a look, as he turned away and answered it. “Nash,” he whispered.

“Hey man, just calling to see if everything’s okay,” Joe asked from the other end.

“Everything’s great Joe, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of something, I’ll have to talk to you later.”

Joe heard a voice say, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” He asked, “Are you at a wedding chapel, Bubba?”

“Yeah, and I really have to go.” Nash hung up the phone, and looked back. Gil and Jana were looking at him, and Lexi had her hand on her hip, an eyebrow arched. “Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant said.