The Spice of Life
Now that you have reached a point where you are rationing your husband’s ejaculations to once every 30 days or so, you should feel free to explore the varieties of sexual experiences alluded to by Ms Dodson above. This program is definitely not about you waiting 30 days to have sex with your husband. If you are not enjoying yourself and experiencing many orgasms during the month, you have missed the point and will be overlooking the ongoing stimulation that your husband needs to keep him in tune.
One husband was expected to orally pleasure his wife on a nightly basis–and was delighted with the assignment: “There’s nowhere I'd rather be.” But his nightly ministrations did not necessarily equate to ejaculation for himself. His wife liked keeping him on the edge–several weeks running, sometimes a month or longer. Did he feel victimized, reduced in manly stature? No, he felt like the “luckiest stiff” he knew, and wrote that he felt like a teenager again and that his wife had become the focus of all his fantasies, “like a goddess” to him
A wife in her early 40’s, married 12 years described her program as
follows: “Before we learned about
rationing sex, we would have intercourse about once a week which included some
foreplay and oral sex. My husband would almost always ejaculate inside of me
after which it was like a switch had turned him off. Since adopting this program
we still have actual sexual intercourse about once a week. Nowadays however he
only ejaculates every fourth time we have intercourse. In between these
sessions, there have been days where I have had my husband pleasure me orally
or use the vibrator for me. I can set the length and intensity of these
sessions and they make a very nice counterpoint to our more regular
intercourse. Some nights, just to keep the heat up, I will concentrate solely
on teasing or stimulating him for a few minutes before bed. These ‘10 minute
teasers’ take almost no effort, yet really serve to keep his juices fermenting.
For example one night, I gently massaged his bare buttocks, another time I
played with his nipples, a third time I lay on the bed and told him to just
kneel beside me and look at my ass in my thong underwear for 10 minutes. The
results have been fabulous. My husband tells me he thinks about me all the time
now. Anything I ask him to do is taken care of eagerly and he is constantly
looking for his own ways to please me. During sex he really works at ensuring
that I have multiple orgasms and when I finally tell him it is ok to ejaculate,
he tells me the feeling is so much better than under our old regime.”
As we have seen penetrative sex while an enjoyable activity, can co-exist with other activities on an equal basis. Cunnilingus is probably the most popular alternative activity. Oral activity can also be centered on any other part of the body since erogenous zones are vast and varied, with the most popular being the breast, nipples, feet and anal areas. Depending on your desires such activity can be a one way or two way street. The fingers and hands are wonderfully manipulative things. Use them to massage, tickle, grasp, insert and otherwise stimulate the body. One partner can watch the other masturbate or you can try mutual masturbation. The use of vibrators, or any of the wide range of artificial phalluses is also encouraged. Technical ingenuity has produced a variety of dildos such as vibrating, pulse action, strap-ons, two way, anal, chin, etc. These can be of great value to enhance the sexual experience. As with oral activities try taking a two way approach with these devices. For example, you might think your husband would not be interested in being on the receiving end of a dildo, but I suggest if you ask him in the right way at the right time you might be surprised at his acceptance. In fact the anus and rectum are full of sensitive, responsive nerve endings which when stimulated through penetration can be immensely pleasurable and even orgasmic.
Anna, a 39 year old married to her husband for 7 years writes as follows:
“Todd
always seemed like such a macho guy. I never thought that he would like me
using a dildo on him. One night though as I was licking and rubbing his penis I
asked if I could. To make a long story short he agreed and it led to a very
explosive climax for him and turned me on immensely. Since that time I have
purchased a strap-on harness and we often incorporate anal penetration in our
love play. He finds the sensations very intense and I love the feeling of being
the penetrator for a change.”
* For a enjoyable perspective of this particular alternative, refer to the article Strap-On Epiphany by Virginia Vitzthum in Salon E-zine January, 1999.
This is only one example of many I have received where couples have discovered joy in heretofore untapped erotic activity. Following this program will give you the freedom to explore and engage in the many alternate forms of intimate and sexual activity now that the encumbrance of penetrative intercourse is now longer the absolute imperative it once was.