 |
Trent Lott |
|
Poetry!
|
Trent Lott of Mississippi
Leader of the Senate Majority
He's driving a bus
And I'll make a fuss
Because I think he's trying to kill me
Trent Lott ain't driving this bus no more
He left the bus for the Senate chamber floor
Resuming to speak
He was slapped on the cheek
When he chided Vice President Gore
Our distinguished buddy Trent Lott
Filibustered quite more than he ought
his speech was long
but when he broke into song
He became much more likely to be shot
Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott the Great
Has been in office since 1988
Becoming Leader in '96
He soon got his kicks
When the Senate tried Clinton for Monicagate
Trent Lott's drawl
And his hog call
You can tell from his words
from down South, like the birds
especially when he says "y'all"
Trent Lott regrets
He has lost some bets
On amendments and bills
Concerning fish gills
And an elephant never forgets
From the South deep
Trent Lott is a creep
"I'm coming after ye!"
He yells with glee
As he proceeds to sheer a sheep
When in Rome,
Trent Lott's not at home
He likes Mississippi
And getting lippy
At Democrats in the Capitol's dome
"Party Politics rule"
Trent Lott said to a fool
He'll make no compromise
No agreement he'll surmise
He'd much sooner have a duel
Trent Lott is in the Swamp
Where alligators romp
Wrestling them in the dark,
Trent'll make his mark
Before they have time to chomp
Trent Lott leads the Senate
His demands are often met
When they're not, he hoots and hollers
And releases his pet alligators from their collars
And then the Democrats soon fret
Senator Lott, his name is Trent,
From Mississippi to Washington he went
Legislating for the folks
He often funs and jokes
of Democrats who are kina bent
Trent Lott once met with the Speaker
Denny Hastert was holding a beaker
He said "I'm devising
a plan to be advising
The Security Council's information leaker."
Subcommittee Chairman Trent
Took in more funds than he spent
"We must reform finance
and make no admittance
of funds to the Democrats that the Chinese lent"
Trent Lott is on a tractor green
not farming, but parading he's been
"Vote for Me!"
"Good for you I'll be!"
Were his promises as he was seen
Trent Lott is speaking today!
Keeping his challengers at bay
He was heckled and Slandered
Saying that he had gerrymandered
if this keeps up his hair will turn gray
Touring Mississippi, the state not the river
Trent Lott's issues did not quiver
"I'm running again
A good senator I've been"
And a carpenter's handshake gave him a sliver
Trent Lott listens to rap
While he lay down to take a nap
For a speech he is resting
in which he will be contesting
Industrial uses of evergreen sap
Old King Cotton
Thought he had boughten
This Senator from the South
But Trent told him by mouth
That this one he has not yet gotten
Trent Lott said "point of order!"
"There's no troops on the Canadian border"
"We must guard our nation
From a surprise invasion"
"Let's raise up an army and mortar!"
Trent Lott is beaming
From a plot he is scheming
To appease the nation
By controlling inflation
Or maybe he is just dreaming
Once Trent was on a hang glider
And he thought of a really good rider
He fell from the sky
And landed in a pig sty
He said "I think now I'll have some hard cider"
Working on a bill for nutrition
Trent formed a coalition
They complained a bunch
And said "We'll do lunch!"
And Trent decided he'd rather be fishin'
Wandering through a bog
Ol' Trent was surrounded by fog
"Boy I'm lost"
"I wonder what it'd cost
For me to get a seein' eye dog?"
Trent Lott was being good
While he was lost in the hood
Ben Franklin was there
And gave Ol' Trent a scare
Trent decided he'd like to leave if he could
Senator Lott is full of guile
As he is "minority leader" for a while
Only 17 days,
It's just a phase
And then Trent will be back to his old style
It takes a village
To plunder and pillage
"I'll act looty,
If there be booty!"
Trent said while making row tillage
Senator Lott went for a walk
on a street that was covered in chalk
It was slanderous graffiti
About people from Tahiti
But Trent moved on and didn't gawk
Trent Lott is wearing a tie
That he got from a guy
Who went by the codename "Deep Throat."
Trent agreed not to squeal
Nor the identitiy reveal
And Deep Throat also gave him a coat.
Trent Lott sat down
And had a really big frown
Since he's no longer welcome in our town.
Trent Lott occasionally has a cold
It makes him excessively bold
Pandering
and philandering
Trent is allergic to mold
Trent's birthday is the 9th of October
He always celebrates it with his dog Rover
They take a vacation
And go on location
To a Cajun restaurant in Dover
Moo cows scare Trent
To a farm he once went
A cow did some harm
When it bit Trent on the arm
So now he speaks with a Southern accent
Trent likes living on the Mississippi River
And dining on onions and liver
"Boy they be tasty,"
"So do not be hasty"
"Unless you're so cold that you shiver."
Trent Lott was born in the USA
And his legislation will not delay
Making America neat
Until an electoral defeat
Forces him to end his Senatorial stay.
Franklin Roosevelt had polio
Trent told his buddy Julio
Julio and Marty
Changed their party
And sold off much of the stock in their portfolio
"We must limit taxation"
Trent said while addressing the nation
"Less tax is more"
He informed Al Gore
Except for fuel at the gas station
More to Come!
Go to Trent Lott's Official Site: http://lott.senate.gov/
If you see any pictures, descriptions or logos that you would not like displayed on this site, let us know and we will remove them. edgarmontrose@hotmail.com
