Expect the unexpected. Just as everything seems to be going well, and turning out the way I want it to be, something always throws a wrench into it. I can be happy and totally healthy: running around, jumping, playing hockey, doing everything I love one moment. The next week, I'm crumbled into a ball on my bed, barely able to walk or move without pain.

Then the barage of doctors, needles, tests, pokings, and proddings is about to begin. I dred every moment of it. I do not like being sick, or straying from normal. I am so incredibly unhappy when I am like this. I am not really living when I am like this, I am only being.

I love it when I can run, work and play. I don't feel terrible, I feel great, and enjoy everything I do. To make matters worse, my work has called me off for the past few days. So, I can't even drown my own thoughts out in my work. What am I to do. I need a distraction, something to keep myself happy. However, I am not finding it.

It's kind of amazing sometimes when the people you are with constantly reassure you that they "will always be there for you". But, when something like this happens, you are always alone. No one is there like they said they would be. Again, another thing to add to the pile of unhappy thoughts and feelings.....

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