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- 06.30.02 --
mood: angry... then calm
music: Limp Bizkit... then Macross Plus: "Voices" ;p
blurb: first the angry: basically, change scares me shitless. change equals unexplored territory, and even the slightest reference to or representation of change gets me skittish then angry. angry at myself for things not staying the way they should forever: comfortably the same. obviously, my angry state today came from having Reality come up and bite me in the ass.
here's the sitch: my mom bought this (i now admit, *nice*) three-piece entertainment center with lighting, glass doors & shelves. not only is everything off-center, but everything's changed. as an 80s child i grew up in front of the television watching Nickelodeon and Saturday morning cartoons. now that television will be history, and so is the wooden entertainment center that housed it. thus my whole freaky introspective look at change, and how that new entertainment center stands for it. a side quibble is that my mom didn't so much as ask me about it before she bought it on a whim, which is really rare 'cause she asks me about everything major b/c i live in this house too. anyways...
second the calm: after playing loads of Limp Bizkit and lots of cooling down (thanks to my online buddies), i put things in perspective. i again realized that i blow things out of proportion and give them more meaning than they should have. in short: i have issues. i'm really hard to freak out, but when little things tug at something deep inside i completely *wig*. then i remembered about how i wanted to DL "Voices" from Macross Plus. so i did, and it was just so soothing that all the bad vibes/thoughts ebbed. "Voices" was quickly followed by Debussy and now i'm calm. from Limp to Debussy all in a few hours. interesting, isn't it?
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