Static Stars
by Kat

Disclaimer: Not mine . . . although if Jake would ever let me borrow
her Munchie for a little while ;)
Author's Note: Okay so I haven't seen the first 2 eps of Young Americans so I don't really know why Jake is pretending to be a guy or how her parents are really like. Also I know she usually lays on her bed in her underwear, but please bear with me here in this fic that it's a really cold night. Hope you like my story :) Kat

Jake was sitting by her window looking out at the stars. It was her favorite thing to do when the "lights out" time came. Her earphones whispered the lullabye voice of Sarah McLachlan's "I Love You".

Being somebody who no one ever noticed Jake thought a lot about other people particularly the dean's son. Somebody named Hamilton "those eyes should be outlawed" Fleming. She played with the bangs of her short hairdo. It was a habit leftover from the days when Jake had her hair streaming past her shoulders. Whenever she felt uneasily shy with people she'd tilt her head down until her long hair became a curtain to her face.

The first time Jake saw herself in the mirror after she cut her hair boyishly short she instantly wished for it back. But she was tired of being ignored by a mom who was running everywhere except home and a dad who left them a long time ago.

Jake shivered and stretched her arm for the cotton blanket on her bed. It was uncharacteristicly cold tonight. She ached to have somebody to wrap their warm arms around her. She missed how it felt like to warm yourself to another's body heat.

The ache brought her thoughts back to Hamilton again. She found herself thinking about him alot. Jake always thought she'd fall for someone named River or Joaquin. The name Hamilton recalled to her images of Dr. Seuss books. She never imagined clicking with someone who's mother called him Munchie in public. The guys she always went with had guitars and skateboards.

Maybe it was time for a change.

"It's just a chemistry thing. Now it's not something you can control, just some people click."

There was something about Hamilton that made everyone before him fade like an early morning moon. The way he looked at her with those blue jean eyes made Jake feel as if someone was finally able to realize her presence since she came to Rawley. Hamilton always had this habit of looking her up and down. He had another habit of being unnecessarily close whenever they were together. It made Jake feel wanted. She always felt like she was the one wanting more in relationships.

She smiled to herself at the thought of this. She was the one wanting more again with Hamilton. She wanted desperately to tell him who she was and maybe even how he made her stomach do gymnastic flips at the sight of him. How his presence created a static energy to her world whenever he came near her. But that was just a lot of poetic b.s. She didn't know how to put words together and then say them out loud in a meaningful way.

He did seem to like her despite the fact he didn't know she was a girl . . . right?

A star in the sky twinkled in laughter to Jake's Shakespearian struggle. "To tell or not to tell," she thought drly. Wasn't there even a play where a girl dressed up as a guy and that's how she met her someone?

Jake looked over to the cream dinner jacket that hung on his closet door.

"let me be the calm you seek
oh and everytime I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away
and I forgot to tell you
i love you
and the night's too long
and cold here without you."

"Maybe I should throw caution to the wind and take a chance," Jake said softly to herself. "before he drives me to having inane conversations with myself. I know too late."

"I grieve in my condition for
I cannot find the strength to say
I need you so."

Jake slowly raised herself up from the position she had by her window and walked gingerly across the floor. The air conditioner was definently doing too well a job of keeping away heat. When Jake was comfortably snuggled underneath her bed sheets she struggled for a plan that would let her hang out with Hamilton during the cotillion. The most important thing was to keep it casual. When sleep overtook her eyes a smile hung casually like a picture frame on her lips.

The End :)

So did you like it? PLEASE TELL ME!!! I live on feedback and need to know if I sucked writing this story. It's been such a long time since I wrote fanfic and the last time I did these people ripped my story apart.

on to song for lovers . . .

<<