We learned yesterday that we have to put Rocket down to sleep. My heart is broken, but I understand. The Vet, Dr Codr, said we've done everything we could do for Rocket, but he is just getting worse, and it would be best if we put him to sleep. I was so afraid to tell Austin. Rocket and he have been best buddies since Austin was born. I have pictures of Rocket sleeping on Austin's baby blanket when Austin was just a few weeks old. They grew up together. Warren and I got Rocket when he was about a month and a half old. October of 1994. Before Austin was even conceived. When I told Austin he got really angry and was yelling at me "now we're not going to have any more cats!" (cuz I am giving Jasmine away to a nice home soon) and he was hitting the door and stomped off. I asked him to come back and tell me what he was feeling, he kept saying that, about not having any more cats, then he collapsed on my lap and sobbed and kept saying he was going to miss Rocket and why did we have to put him to sleep. I feel so awful for him. I know it's "good" for kids to go through the loss of a pet, but he's had his share of pet deaths in his short life. Ba-boy (his kitten when he was 3) Athena, last year and now Rocket. Rocket is the one that is hurting me the most. He's a great cat and has always been so great with the kids. Even when Austin would lay on him or Ryan would pull his tail or Josh would pull his ears. Rocket never growled at them, never tried to bite them never did anything aggressive towards the boys, ever! He'd just get up and move further away from them. He's a great kitty and he's going to be missed sorely. =(
We take him in Monday after work...
I have been reading a book, called "10 Eating Habits of Naturally Slim People" I highly recommend it to anyone who feels fed up with diets. I know I do. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder just before I became pregnant with Ryan. All through high school I starved myself, I'd eat like a cow at night and then not eat anything or very very little during the day. I dropped down to 111lbs. NOT a healthy weight for me. I look back at my pictures at that weight and I do look too skinny. Back then though, I still felt fat. I can remember fitting into a pair of size 5 jeans. I can remember accidently putting a pair of Jason's 501's on one day and wearing them all day thinking "geez these are sorta tight" Only to come home to find I was wearing Jason's, unknowingly. I think they were 28's or 29's I forget. Mine though, were 30's. In my adulthood, I still wasn't heavy, even though I felt like I weighed 200+lbs, I only really weighed 140 at best. When I got pregnant with Austin, I was 145, and I can say I have gained weight with each pregnancy there after, losing all my pregnancy weight, but then keeping my prepregnancy weight from after Austin. I was feeling hopeless. I started back again on the road to my eating disorder disaster. Starving myself during the day, etc. But then I learned what starving myself DID to me in the first place and I've stopped doing that. And after that revelation, I've been trying diet after diet after diet. And I've found, that if I don't FEEL as if I'm dieting, I tend to get better results. I eat what I want (with guilt until now) but in small portions. This book, that I mentioned before, has been teaching me that, there are no bad foods or good foods, there's just food. Yes, there are some with empty calories and some with more nutrition, but the way we look at food being bad or good, is very unhealthy to us. If you eat a piece of cake, you feel horrible about yourself because it's "bad" in your terms. But if you think of it as, that cake was good and I enjoyed it. And you don't assign any guilt to it, you don't feel like a bad person yourself, in turn stuffing your face with more cake. There are so many things I am learning and putting to use, as I read. And I will honestly say, it is very helpful to me. I eat what I want guilt free, I just moderate how I eat and only eat when I'm hungry, stop eating when i feel satisfied. If I eat until I feel stuffed I don't beat myself up, I just say "yikes I won't do that next time" and not assign guilt to it. When you eat the cake, or cookies or sweets that you want when you want, you are less likely to binge on it, because you can feel you get to have that stuff whenever you want, and it becomes less and less of a guilty pleasure and more of a pleasure. trust me, it works and you all should go out and buy this book!
Continued