"She what?" Buffy screamed into the phone as she listened to Giles' speak. "I'll be right over!"

Racing out the door off her house she jumped into the car and sped crazily all the way to the hospital, her only thought getting to her family. Stepping through the doors to the hospital, she sprinted to the elevators, ignoring the shocked looks from patients and doctors alike. This was too important to worry about what people thought.

When she reached the door to her mother's room, she took a deep breath and then walked inside. Ignoring Giles and Dawn, she focused only on the figure lying on the bed.

"Buffy," her mother rasped happily and the Slayer pressed a hand to her eyes, wiping away the tears of joy.

"Mom," she reproached as she sat on the edge of the bed and took the thin body of her mother in her arms, hugging her tightly. "Took you long enough."

Joyce laughed softly, embracing her daughter with all her strength. "Better late than never hmm?" she murmured and Buffy giggled, tears streaming from her eyes as she finally felt safe.

~~~
"I just can't believe it," Buffy said quietly to Giles as they stood in the waiting room, letting Dawn and Joyce have a private moment together. "This is such a relief."

Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose with his glasses and smiled heartily, "It really is," he agreed and touched her shoulder. "You must feel fantastic."

Buffy laughed half-heartedly, "Well except for the fact that I have two insane vamps on my tail," she groused lightly, and Giles frowned.

"That will be a problem…do you think Spike has had any contact with them?"

"Probably," she remarked, massaging one of her biceps with one hand. "I mean, I would imagine. Him and Dru go back a long way."

Giles glanced about worriedly. "You'll have to stake them both, you know," he informed her and Buffy grinned.

"I know, and I can't wait. They both need a good ass kicking. I also got to take out that uber-bitch Glory. No one sends a big snake after my sis and gets away with it!" she joked, and flopped down on an uncomfortable chair. Giles lowered himself into one beside her.

"That might be a problem…she seems to be a great deal stronger than you Buffy," he reminded the Slayer carefully and she shrugged.

"I'll have to catch her on a bad day then."

~~~
Buffy sat alone in the starkness of the waiting room. She wanted to go in and see her Mom, but the doctor's had insisted she get undisturbed rest, and Buffy wasn't about to jeopardize her mother's health. What with Dawn at Giles', Xander and Anya back at his place and Willow and Tara having dinner in the hospital cafeteria, she really felt lonely. But really, she had nothing to complain about. Her Mom was awake, and that was all that mattered. Everything else was just a minor problem. Sure. That's all she had to keep telling herself.

"Buffy."

It was soft, husky, deep. That voice. She looked up, saw Angel and smiled weakly. "Hey stealth guy. Patrolling?"

He nodded, and dropped gracefully into the chair next to hers, turning slightly to gaze at her with his dark eyes. "Your Mom's awake huh?"

She nodded, bowing her head a little. "She's fine. Knock on wood."

He smiled and then without another word drew her into his arms. Buffy relaxed, pressing her face into his duster, the cool, refreshing scent of him washing over her in waves.

She fell asleep right there in his arms, and he held her until morning.

~~~
"You have a good day at school honey," Buffy kissed Dawn's forehead, and watched her sister exit the car, walking happily into the huge white building. Her sister had been heart-breakingly sweet and helpful ever since their mother had woken up, and Buffy was so grateful she was there. Nothing and no one was going to hurt Dawn, she vowed to herself. She would have to find Glory. That bitch was really beginning to piss her off.

But first, Darla and Drusilla. The two vampires were laying low, which worried Buffy more than if they had been out blowing things up and generally causing chaos. Angel was back at the mansion sleeping, so she had no help at the moment, except Spike. She didn't care if she woke him.

Parking at the cemetery, she strode purposefully over to the crypt and without knocking, walked in, careful not to shine sunlight on the bed.

With distaste, she stared down at the couple curled up together underneath the covers.

"Wake up," she uttered loudly without preamble.

"I hope this is a joke, Slayer," Spike cracked open one eye and looked her up and down. "I'm not your beck and call bitch ya know."

"Have you seen Drusilla?" she asked, ignoring him and hoping she wouldn't wake Harmony. The last thing she needed was to listen to that half-wit blather on about whatever new purchase she had made that week. Spike sat up, reaching over to the bedside table and lighting a cigarette.

"Haven't seen her," he muttered, dragging on the smoke with pleasure. "And if I were you, I'd worry about Captain Cardboard. Word on the street is that he's joined the ranks of the blood-sucking,"

"Word on the street?" she imitated and he flushed angrily.

"You don't care that he's snogging the vamps? Whatever, blondie."

"He's not a vampire yet, Spike," she snapped. "And that doesn't matter anyway. Word on the street is that we're no longer an item, okay? If you see Drusilla, tell her…tell her I'm going to kill her. And it won't be pretty."

"Wait, Buffy," Spike called softly, and jumped from the bed, pulling on a pair of pants as he went. She turned and regarded him with something akin to astonishment, as he grabbed her arms and looked deep into her eyes.

"I'll help you, Buffy," he said quietly, without any sarcasm or rancour. "I will."

Buffy shrugged his hands off her and looked at him in a new light. "Spike…" she began hesitantly, "What is this about?"

Blushing faintly, he threw his hands up in the air for dramatic measure and gestured to the door. "On your way then…can't a vampire ever be nice? All this suspicion…distrust," he babbled and she stopped him, pressing a hand to his mouth warningly.

"Look, Spike…I didn't kill you for trying to kiss me." She paused and then stared at him with a hint of tenderness in her eyes. "But don't go all sweet on me ok?"

He laughed harshly and turned his head from her's, not letting her see his face, the expression of hurt that wreathed his features. "I know…I'm beneath you," he threw the words back and she shook her head.

"No…but…the vampire thing? Not ever doing that again," she informed him, trying to spell it out plainly. "Besides…you don't really…do you?"

Spike bowed his head, shrugging his pale shoulders. "Would it matter? I know you'll always be his."

Neither needed to say the name, they both knew whom Spike spoke of. Buffy sighed and leaned against the cold wall of the crypt, playing with the hem of her black top.

"Speaking of that," Spike muttered, "I hear Soulboy's in town."

"Yep," Buffy said without much feeling, thinking of the long night spent in his arms. She wasn't sure how she felt about that yet. They definitely had a lot to talk about. "Angel's back in the 'Dale. He has to help with Darla and Dru." She hesitated and then offered, "If you can get Dru to leave, Spike, I won't stake her. I have to do Darla, she's a threat to Angel…but Dru…" She left the sentence hanging.

He took another long drag of the cigarette and the tip burned bright in the darkness of the room. "I might be able to convince Dru to leave. We aren't really on the best of terms though," he understated, and she laughed.

"Geez…and we all hoped you two would make it work."

"It's all a little hard when one person's in love with someone else," Spike muttered bitterly and she looked down at her booted feet, tapping them against the stone floor.

"I'm sorry-" she began to speak quietly but he held up one hand, smiling carelessly.

"Don't get all soft on me Slayer. Go…do the duty. I'll be in touch if Dru makes herself known. Do I get any cash out of this?" he inquired with a toothy grin. "Blood and beers, you know."

Giggling, Buffy gazed at him with disgust. "Nothing ever changes," she said mock-wearily, and gestured to the sleeping woman in the bed. "You actually with that dimwit?"

"I should have said blood and beers and sex," he remarked. "Gotta have all three."

"Oh, puke," she gagged and opened the door. "Watch out for the sun, Spike."

"YEOW!" he yelled as a ray hit him square in the chest.

"Told ya," she laughed and shut the door behind her.

~~~
The mansion was still and silent. If Buffy didn't know better, she would think no one was in residence. Going around the back way, she treaded lightly down the stairs, taking a quick second to smell the blossoms, which grew on the vines curling around the stone bricks.

"Angel?" she called softly and immediately he slid gracefully into the main room from the bedroom, smiling in welcome.

"I lit a fire," he gestured to the hearth, where there was a blanket laid out with some pillows. It looked so much like old times, that she had a difficult time not showing any reaction on her face.

"So," he began as he lowered himself to sit before the fire. "Did you see Spike?"

"Yeah," she replied. "He's going to contact us if he sees Dru. I told him if he promises to take her away or get her to leave then I won't kill her. But Darla…" she paused. "I have to stake her."

Shaking his head, he stared her down. "I can't let you do that Buffy."

"She's a vampire Angel. She deserves it-" Buffy trailed off as she realized what she had just said. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean…"

"Yes you did," he answered softly. "And you're probably right. But I can't let you stake Darla. There has to be some way to help her. A spell or something. We could curse her with a soul. That would work-"

"You're babbling," she informed him quietly. "It's my duty to stake Darla, Angel. And I'm going to do it. Whether you like it or not."

"I won't let you," he told her firmly. "I won't."

Burying her face in her hands, she cried, "Well what are you going to do? Hit me? Kill me? To save Darla? Is that what you want? Are you choosing her over me now?"

He grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him. "I am choosing," he emphasised, "to save someone's soul. That's what I do."

"Don't you see that you can't save her?" she yelled at him. "Don't you get that? Why do you care so much Angel? After all she's done? She made Angelus! You killed her once…to save me," she murmured painfully. "What's so different now?"

He sighed heavily and let go of her, closing his eyes. "I would stake her in a second…to save you, you know that Buffy."

"No, I don't," she insisted hoarsely, "Cause you left me…but you were willing to die for her."

"I'm willing to die for all my clients," he remarked blankly. His eyes flew open when he heard something crash. Buffy stood before him, the remnants of a now broken table in front of her.

"DO YOU REMEMBER?" she screamed at him, tears streaming down her face in torrents. She made no move to wipe them away, simply stood her ground, like an avenging Goddess out for blood. "DO YOU?"

He got to his feet in a flash. "Remember what?"

"Remember me!" she shouted at him. "Are those two years we spent together just a footnote in your big huge history Angel? Cause I'm beginning to think you don't remember the things that happened in this room…"

He cut her off, slashing his arm in the air to stop her. "Don't remember?" he growled, "you think I don't remember you? I remember everything Buffy. I remember the first time I saw you…so sweet and innocent in the sunlight. I remember your seventeenth birthday…you lying naked beneath me…I inhaled your scent and nothing else mattered…do you know what you smelled like that night? Like vanilla and rain and fear. You smelled of the sun, of love…of trust. I remember the next morning…you crying, saying you loved me. But I…" he paused, "I crushed your heart like it was my personal plaything. I remember kissing you that day. Without any love…without any sense of tenderness. I remember, as Angelus, drawing you, sketching your picture. He was obsessed with you Buffy. Just like me. I remember when you sent me to hell…that look on your face, full of such misery. And I can still recall my thoughts the moment before you thrust that sword into my belly. I was thinking, "Her lips are so sweet…I love her…more than anything else in the world. Now we can finally be happy. It's over. I can make her happy". I deserved to go to hell, and even though I block them out, I recall the years spent down there well." He paused for a moment, watching as she desperately wiped her face free of tears. His voice got softer as he continued. "I remember coming back…your initial unease…but soon…we fell back into things. It was inevitable. And I loved it. How could I not? It was a taste of the purest heaven. But you know what I realized Buffy? I don't deserve heaven. Not after all the things I've done, the atrocities I've committed. But you do. All you've ever done is help people, and you deserve to walk the day, deserve to be with someone worthy of you. That's not me. And I had realized that long ago, but fought it. The day I stopped fighting…was the day I decided to leave you."

"I hate you," she choked out, holding her stomach. It burned with the force of her sobs, and she wanted to double over and gag. Pain spread over her breasts and belly like a poisonous bird, opening it's wings with the sole purpose to smother and destroy. "I hate you for not…thinking you're worthy, when you are. But most of all I hate you for leaving me…because I've never been the same."

He didn't answer, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall as he watched his beautiful blonde love force herself to stand upright.

"You know, Angel…you may not think you're worthy of heaven…but I do. I always will. I love you," she uttered softly, coming closer to him. "And until you realize that's all that matters…"

He looked at her, his mouth twisted into an expression of extreme misery. "I can't let myself hurt you," he murmured helplessly. "I'll die before I'll hurt you."

"Well then why aren't you dead yet?" she asked coldly. "Because you've been killing me for two years. Couldn't you hear me screaming for you? Out there in LA? Couldn't you hear me? I thought I was calling loudly."

He cried into his hands, sobbing fully now, and although it broke her heart to hear him, she wouldn't approach him this time. "It's too hard…I love you too much," he sniffed, wiping his cheeks with his fingers and turning away from her. "You could never understand Buffy."

"I understand that I'm tired of the guilt trips. I'm tired of us being apart when we both know…that we'll never be happy this way. Okay, so you wanted me to have a normal life. Yeah well, I have it…and its not working. My boyfriend couldn't deal. He's gone all fucked up in the head. How do you think that makes me feel? It's my fault you know. He knows I don't love him…that I still love you. That I'll always love you."

Angel looked up. "I'm sorry," he offered, and said, "You know I love you to."

"I know," she breathed, leaning back against the wall and studying the fire. "But you still left. You still left."

Time races on, I'm on your side
but carrying you, my engines die
I'm in the mood for you, or for running away
All the stars come down in you
And love, love, love
Oh you can't give it away inside you, the time moves
she don't fade
The ghost in you, she don't fade
Away

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