Caspian

Holy majoly! I just found this, so I'm sorry if it isn't in time to get posted-

An hour ago, I was loitering outside the Louvre being bawled out in screeching French by a woman upon whose imaginary dog I had apparently stepped.

Half an hour ago, I had just completed a very difficult act of utter gracelessness- dance on edge of fountain pretending to be a Jet; get distracted mid-fingerclick by gesticulating police officer; fall in said fountain.

And now, sitting here in an internet cafe with my hair wrapped in a towel donated by the manager so I don't drip the keyboard to death, I find out that my fics have won True Love awards.

What looks like crazy on an ordinary day.... yeah, still seems crazy!

I stumbled into the fanfic world a few years back, first as just an avid reader, then in '02- during a grouchy mood and for the sheer hell of it- as a writer. Or, at least, as some schlub stringing sentences together with reckless disregard for fancy notions like punctuation. That the fics I have scrambled together are coherent to anyone other than myself is something I consider a minor miracle. And that some people have found a little resonance in them? Means everything to me.

There are so many wonderful stories laughing and crying and screaming and fairly dancing with life on the pages of the boards, and of their authors I am in such flat-out awe. To these people, especially all the nominees for the True Love awards, I owe huge thanks for the countless hours of vivid escape you've given me and for so many yet to come (when my life decides to cut me a break and detour off the Idiot Interstate). Thanks for the heartache that made me hate you so fondly and for the happy endings that made my cheeks ache from smiling so damn hard, and thank you for being such an inspiration.

Frankly, as it seems an honor simply to have my writing considered passable English let alone thrown into the same ring as the other nominees, this is genuinely an aw hell you can't be serious?! issue. When I started out writing, it was to entertain myself for a while and I had absolutely no idea what in the heck I was doing. And now...well, as my high school Physics teacher put it, dead hamsters learn faster. I wrote "The 16th" one afternoon just back from the beach, salt still clinging to my skin, sand in my hair, and- due to Christmas festivities- a few steps on the other side of- ahem- sober. I wanted to fill the gap the show left in the finale and I drew it in the broad, sunny afternoon strokes of my mood as a way to freeze that feeling. Guess it was a good thing it wasn't raining ;) "The Unadventures of Us" was a little sidenote of some other story that, thanks to a couple of songs that were haunting me, became a small tale of its own, while on the other hand, "Bringing Down the House" was supposed to be a short, neat fic with a few parts, and has instead grown to a sprawling mess with a ridiculous shelf life... which just makes me enjoy writing it even more- contrary to the impression given by my derelict updating style. (According to PoTL, that fic is on vacation at the moment, working on its tan and drinking margaritas by the pool, but that's actually just me doing those things, so when the supply dries up the fic should get kicked back into circulation.)

What I want to say here, more than anything, is thank you. Thank you to everyone who has managed to graciously overlook the lack of grammar, the unhappy endings, the nonsensical ramblings, the hopeless updating "schedule", and been able to share these stories with me. Thank you for reading, for letting me know how you felt about them, and for voting here- I can't possibly tell you how much it means to me. I will always treasure that support and the friends that I've found through this kick-ass distraction. With too many names to mention (rachdaniellemiajulietannarinnykellizandmore), I would however like to throw a special shout-out the way of the folks who have kept "Bringing Down the House" alive all this time- you guys are just incredible, the cat's freaking pajamas.

All that's left to say is that if I ever get around to writing again, y'all got no one to blame but your sweet selves ;)

Thanks for everything,

Bella.