Kel

So, Abba tells me I'm supposed to write a speech, so I guess that's what this is going to be. Although, I've never been very good at public speaking, as I tend to get really nervous and talk too fast, and then I start rambling and no one can understand one thing I'm saying and then they get bored and fall asleep or start talking amongst themselves.kinda like now. And ever since that one time in the Ninth Grade when I had to give an oral report (on some topic that I don't even remember now) and was told to picture everyone in the room naked to get over my jitters, well, let's just say I will never look at Mr. Maslak (my middle-aged, balding English teacher) in the same way ever again.

So you see, I've had a bad experience (but you can all rest assured that I'm not visualizing you in your birthday suit right now, or any other suit for that matter - Easter, business and three piece included), and you'll all just have to bear with me while I stumble through this (and yes, I know technically, this isn't really a 'public speech', but you tell that to the butterflies in my stomach and my sweaty palms.).

I've never really had to write an acceptance speech before because I've never really won anything (unless you count that three-legged race back in the first grade.), and the only examples I have to go on come from those cheesy awards shows they shove down our throats every year. In other words, I got nothing.

But, I think first and foremost, the most important thing I could say is thank you. I wish I could come up with a better, more eloquent way to say it, but sometimes less really is more. And I'm not sure I could ever say thank you enough, not only for this award and the nominations, but also just your overwhelming support of me and my writing. It still amazes me that people even read what I write, let alone want to take the time to respond to it. This really is a dream come true for me, to create something and be able to share it with others. That's all I've ever really wanted out of my writing. The people and friendships that have come along with it are more than I could ever ask for.

As for my story, 40 Kinds of Sadness , I won't bore you all with the details of how my mind works. I'm sure you all know how music obsessed I am, and that's where basically all my story ideas come from. This one was no different (and yes, I'd like to thank Ryan Cabrera for the song of the same name, the first time I heard it, I saw this story in my head like a movie). What has been different for me is the AU aspect of this fic. Pacey as a singer/songwriter is something I've always wanted to tackle, but was never sure I could pull it off, as it's something so out of character for him. That's why this means so much to me, to know that you can identify with him, and maybe even have grown to love him as much as I do. This story by far has been the most fun for me to write, and also has the most of me in it. My love of music and Pacey (and yes, Joey too) have been the driving force behind this, and I'm so glad I've been able to share both of those with all of you. And the fun thing is, there's still more to come (okay, fun for me, but maybe not for those of you asking 'will she ever shut up?').

As for personal thank yous, there are so many, but I'll try to keep it brief (yeah, right). First, so much gratitude, respect and love go out to Jen (my beta and friend) and my fellow Q's (Kristie and Donna). Without you guys, I know I wouldn't still be here, let alone writing this speech. I don't think I need to say anymore, or else you know I'll never shut up. Also, Elle, my partner in crime and other half (one entity, it's scary). I'm so glad that you've come back, and I look forward to creating more havoc with you. I couldn't do this without you either. And, my Abba, even though she's leaving me for better things (Abba, aim LOWER, damnit!), she'll always have a place in Talas with Samuel L. and Momma Hicks.

Finally, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone out there still reading and writing. It's because of all of you that I even got started in the first place, and now I can't imagine NOT doing this. I hope that we can all keep on doing this, in whatever way possible, for a long, long time. My life has been richer because of it (And all over a teen soap! I know, I still can't believe it either, but Pacey and Joey are worth it).

Thank You!