Ahem. You are reading the edited, revised, and slightly more sane version of this. If you *really* want to check out the old one, click here. Basically, I fixed all the little errors and rewrote some of it. Not much, but some. Now review! Or else I'll...umm...stuff you in a sousaphone case! ^-^
Disclaimer: This is a completely fictional work. Any resemblances to real places, events, or members of a certain rural Illinois marching band are coincidental. That said, I own nobody and nothing (except for Megan, obviously).
It was a dark and stormy night...
Or a beautiful autumn day...
Or a snowy Christmas morning...
But it was a dark and stormy night. Most of the members of the WHS Marching Poodles clearly wished that it was one of the others, but that was because they were out marching in the rain. Actually, reflected Megan, one of the flutes, it wasn't really dark. In fact, the sky was a lovely shade of mustard yellow.
If Megan hadn't been having what her friends referred to as a "blonde day" (or día rubio, for those in Spanish), she probably would have recalled, after fourteen years of living in the Midwest, just what a sky of that particular color meant.
Meanwhile, up on the podium, their insane band director continued conducting, completely oblivious to the hailstones that were now bouncing off his head.
"Maybe we should go in now," Megan suggested. Nobody gave any sign of having heard her, but Megan was used to that, since it happened most of the time. Instead she tied her lyre to her head to keep from getting knocked unconscious by a hailstone.
"Mr. Mullins!" yelled Melissa, one of the piccoloists. "I really think we need to go in now!"
"Just a few more minutes!" Mr. Mullins announced over the Long Ranger.
There was a unanimous groan from the band that was drowned out by the roar of an approaching train.
"But there aren't any trains around here," Megan protested.
"Run!" Katy, the head drum major shouted.
Everybody ran except for the flutes, who had stayed behind to help an unconscious flutist, and an injured duck.
Finally, they managed to pick up Katy and the duck, and were almost to the band room when...
"Tornado!" DeeDee screamed.
Everybody ran into a nearby trailer and waited as the tornado got closer...
and closer...
and closer...
till they realized that the trailer was now being spun around.
"I'm gonna be sick, you guys," Nataleigh groaned.
"This is like being in a washer," Megan observed.
"Or a Britney Spears music video," commented Kim, the lone trombonist in the trailer, trying to comfort the duck.
"Why a Britney Spears video?" a now-conscious Katy asked.
"'Cause they both make you sick," Christina said, as if this should be obvious to anybody.
Eventually, the trailer crashed to the ground with a loud scream.
"Why did I just hear a scream?" Courtney asked.
"Maybe it was ripping aluminum," Susan suggested.
"Or a person crushed under the trailer!" Christina said enthusiastically.
"You've seen The Wizard of Oz a few too many times," Ashley pointed out.
"Ryan, like, loves that movie," Christina explained.
"Oh, brother," Megan groaned. "Err...maybe we should just go outside and see what's going on and where we are."
"But there might be lions and tigers and bears," Kim said.
"Oh, my," the entire flute section said automatically.
"Okay, Melissa and I will go outside," DeeDee said. "The rest of you, stay in here."
DeeDee and Melissa left and everybody followed them. They saw a person wearing drum major's boots underneath the trailer.
Suddenly, a person that looked suspiciously like Katy (no, the head drum major) in a pink dress appeared.
"I am Katerina, the Good Drum Major of the North," she introduced herself. "What are you doing here, and why have you smashed the Evil Drum Major of the East?"
DeeDee, being the section leader, stepped forward. "Err...we're here because a tornado picked up our trailer that we had to run into during marching band practice, and it obviously landed on your Evil Drum Major of the East."
"Oh, okay. It's not like I care, anyway. After all, she was evil. I guess you want to know how to get home now, right?"
"Well, yeah, that would be nice."
"Unfortunately," Katerina continued, "I don't know how to, so I guess you'll just have to go see the Band Director of Oz."
"Sure, but how do we get there?"
"Just follow the blacktop road with orange pawprints, duh."
"Shouldn't that kick off a song?" Kim wondered.
"Like 'Follow the Orange Pawprinted Road'?" Megan suggested. "I think we're omitting the songs 'cause half the section can't sing."
"Okay. What about the Munchkins?"
"Hey, you can't have everything."
"Before you go, you should take the boots," Katerina told DeeDee. "I have my own pair, so I don't need them."
"Thanks," DeeDee told her, trying on the boots. "But they don't fit me. Here, you can have them, Melissa."
The completely pointless boot matter settled, the flutes (and Kim) headed down the road with orange pawprints, pointedly not singing.
***