Hello, Dolly

from 1986 show

Hello, dollies. Well, hello, dollies.
It's so nice to be up here where we belong
You radiate, dollies. Lookin' great, dollies.
Will you fellas kindly tell us why you took so long?
So join our roast, ladies. Here's a toast, ladies.
To the gals who put their talents on display.
Found our place, buddies.
Give me a little space, buddies
Dollies'll never go away. Dollies'll never go away.
Dollies are in the Gridiron show to stay!

MARCH IN
(by Troy Gordon)
(Tune: Yankee Doodle Dandy)

It's time again for Tulsa Gridiron
It's time to tell you what is what
The headline makers from throughout the year
Are gonna be put on the spot

We've had our fill our big-shot bosses
We're sick of politicians, too
We've worked all year to earn our pay
Tonight we're gonna play --
Listen to what we're gonna do

It's time to tell about the firemen
Cockfights and evolution, too
Democrats and GOP
Are in our Gridiron story
And that isn't all we're gonna do.

Falling
by Tim Hoover
(Tune: Falling in Love Again)

Falling's gone nuts

again
When she acts that way
What is there to say?
She can't help it

Some say she's a lunatic
Who can really tell?
Might be too much Prell
She can't help it

The council tried before it became too late
Now though she's made it clear it's one versus eight
Falling's gone nuts again
What an ugly spot
Let's call Gary Watts
We can't help her

Anthony Keating, Take the Garbage Out
by Tom Campbell
(Tune: Sarah Stout, Take the Garbage Out)

Oh, Commissioner Anthony Keating, I pray
When will you take our garbage away?
I've called your office both day and night.
Can't someone help resolve our plight?
Oh, Commissioner Anthony Keating, I shout
When will you take our garbage out?

It's piling up to the ceilings
Coffee grounds, orange peelings
Brown bananas and rotten peas
Chunks of sour cottage cheese
It's filled our cans and covered the floor
It's cracked the windows and blocked the door

We've got bacon rinds and chicken bones
Drippy ends of ice cream cones
Peach pits, prune pits, potato peel
Globby glumps of cold oatmeal

Our garbage heap is growing so high
I'm afraid it's going to

touch the sky
None of the children will come to play
Most of the neighbors have moved away

Commissioner Keating, once more I say
WHY WON"T YOU TAKE OUR GARBAGE AWAY?

Porno Store
by Tom Campbell
(Tune: Naughty Lady of Shady Lane)

Naughty photos from the porno store
Have my staff in a whirl
Penthouse Forum and what it shows
Can make you toenails curl.
Pictures of a shady lady
With her admirers galore
She's a walking marriage handbook
Look how they flock to the store
Tulsa was peaceful and quiet
Before she came on the scene
Now Penthouse has started a riot
to lock up a store clerk we're keen

The naughty lady that we have seen
Would warm up our winter nights
The six dollar clerk we have tried
Upheld by the Bill of Rights

Tulsa was peaceful and quiet
Until the D.A. came unglued
Said Penthouse had started a riot
Showing couples who pray'd in the nude

Naughty photos from the Porno store
Don't bother us a bit
You can use them with Vi-ag-ra
To help keep the home fires lit
You can use them with Vi-ag-ra
To help keep the home fires lit

Hillcrest Nurses/Teamsters
By Mimi Haig
Song: Sisters
Cast

Teamsters, Teamsters
There were never such devoted Teamsters
At last we have a burly chaperone, to fuss
Those thugs'll keep an eye on us
Striking, Biking
Think I'll get a tattoo of a Viking
When a unit manager evoked our ire
I broke his nose
I slashed his tires

All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in our whites or scrubs
At different paces but talkin' raises
We think and we act as one
Those who've --- crossed us
Know there's not a prayer they can boss us
Administration tried to split us up
But no one can
Lord help the leader
Who comes between us and the Teamsters
And Lord help the Teamster
Who says I can't strike like a man!

Jail
by Randy Krehbiel
Song: "Down on the Corner"

Early in the evenin'
Just about suppertime
Over at the jailhouse
They're startin' to lockdown.
Felon up on charges
Tryin' to raise his bail
Willy gives a bogus name
That opens wide the doors
(CHORUS)
Down on the corner
Out in the street
Willy and the jailbirds are lammin'
Thanks to us they've been released

Rooster steals from

(Continued on page 2)