Catherine Milne
~ Suggestions for Writers ~
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~ Comments on Manuscript Style Elements ~
* Does the language you use include inappropriate use of non-standard, technical or biased wording? Non-standard language refers to slang, colloquialisms, regional speech, pretentious word choice, doublespeak, euphemisims and academic style. There will always be times when such language may be appropriate, but choosing those times can be tricky. Non-standard language can alienate the reader by being incomprehensible (doublespeak and academic style); offensive (slang and swearing); sounding arrogant (pretentious word choices) or being 'too noticeable' (regional speech). It is usually better to err on the side of caution and use common words. Save up your non-standard choices for impact. Technical language and/or jargon refers to words particular to a small group (such as computer jargon). Again, because the words can be unknown to readers, you may find your audience losing interest. Biased language is one that is exclusive in its audience, aimed at a particular segment of the population and is prejudicial to any one or more groups in the community. Sexist and racist are two of the more common negative forms of bias, however you need to be aware that there are many more. The more biased your story, the smaller your target audience. Bias is not necessarily bad for your story. A computer programming text in C++ is a biased text written for the programming community that uses C++. A romance novel is biased in that it excludes many men from its audience through the topic it focuses upon. * How specific or concrete is the word choice? Specific language uses words that clearly define the relationships within groups. A mathematics lecturer rather than a teacher, a Catholic schoolgirl rather than a school kid, a German Shepherd rather than a dog. Concrete words are ones that involve our senses. To speak in concrete terms is use language that involves things we can see, hear, taste, touch and smell. Concrete writing is usually more active. * Is the style more connotative or denotative? How effective are the figurative techniques used? Connotations are words that aim to create moral/ethical attitudes in the reader. They can be subtle (the dark and gloomy night) or hit you over the head (all monarchists are archaic, power-hungry idiots). A good writer uses connotative writing to create an authorial moral tone to the story so that the reader 'knows' who the baddies are, barracks for the goodies, gets scared at the right places and agrees with the moral and ethical choices made by the main characters. Connotative language helps generate empathy for the characters. Be careful of overdoing it -- too much can alienate a large section of the audience. Think of political propaganda material -- even those supporting the candidate can be offended by the overdone nature of some advertising. Denotative language is black and white -- no moral overtones. IE: The dark night. Monarchists are people who support the monarchy. Figurative techniques are often used. The more common ones are: ~ Similes -- a comparison between 'A' and 'B' using 'like' or 'as'. I watched the moon float through the clouds like a ghostly galleon afloat in stormy seas. ~ Metaphors -- a more subtle comparison where 'A' is called 'B'. Her silken skin shimmered in the moonlight. I felt passion rise up, burning through my veins. ~ Extended metaphors are where the comparison is drawn out and explored through a number of sentences or even the entire story. ~ Personification -- giving human qualities to non-humans. The tree loomed menacingly overhead. ~ Cliches -- overused phrases. Thick as a brick. A single tear. Her heart broke. When using figurative techniques, be careful. It is easy to overuse them. They should not leap out and bite the reader, but should add subtle flavour that helps make your story unique. Be careful about using similes -- the 'like' and 'as' can be repetitive if used too much. Think of a simile as the first step on a ladder. It's useful, but there are more to come. Metaphors are most effective when used subtly. Do not to mix them. ~ Mixed Metaphor -- taking a number of incompatible images and comparing them. I floated with happiness at my great fortune, a leaden smile curving my lips.
~ Textual Clarity & Conciseness ~ * Is a concise writing style is used, creating clarity within the text? Writing a good story that is filled with imagery, dialogue and character driven does not mean using thousands of extra words. A simple, concise style of writing will highlight those images and people and leave less room for the reader to become confused or bored. Excess words do not equal effective writing. Save the occasional brilliant and evocative, yet wordy, sentence for special events. Read through each line and check if you have written it as simply as possible. ~ That does not mean you should write "I got the card" instead of "I took a walk into town yesterday to do some shopping. While wandering through the grocery store, I remembered Valentine�s Day was almost here. I think it might have been the brilliant red tomatoes that brought it to mind. Anyway, I popped into Hallmark's. So many cards to choose from, so few that I like. It felt as if I looked at every single one on the shelves before I finally found it -- the perfect card. Simple, yet concise, it said "I love you"." ~ It means don't write "I left the house and walked down the street to the shops. I did my shopping and then I went to find a Valentine's Day card. I went inside the card shop and looked for a card. There were many good ones, and it was hard to choose, and I looked for a long time. Then I found it -- the perfect Valentine's Day card. It said "I love you", and I liked it so I bought it." * How passive is the language? Passive language contains many examples of the verb 'to be'. Common examples are was, were, had, has and be. A passive scene does not draw the reader in, but instead distances itself. It's the difference between watching the news on television, and being there when it actually happens. o The worst example of passive is the expletive construction ('there' or 'it', followed by the passive verb). It was a wet day. There were people at the door. Instead, make it active. Rain poured from the sky, soaking everything. We heard a loud knocking and voices calling out from the front porch. * Is repetition used only for the purposes of clarity & emphasis? Repetition of names and other nouns and of action verbs, adjectives and any other descriptive element stops the reader. You should only repeat a word when absolutely necessary to clarify or emphasis a topic. Remember, you can substitute commas and pronouns, rework the sentence to remove the word or use a thesaurus to find another.
* How unified are the paragraphs and sections? Are there recognisable thematic patterns within them? Sentences should work together to build paragraphs of related ideas. Those paragraphs should unite to form scenes where the reader can identify the dominant themes of your story. Every story has a plot that develops through the exploration of those themes. Each scene therefore needs to be about the introduction or further development of a theme. That is what carries the story. * How structured and balanced are the sentences within the paragraphs and sections? Structure refers to the construction of the sentence. ~ Is it grammatically correct? ~ Is it simple and concise? ~ Is it necessary to the paragraph? Balance refers to the pasting together of those sentences into paragraphs and scenes. ~ Is there a logical progression? ~ Are any sections redundant? ~ Do they support the textual truth of your story? ~ Do the sentences vary in length? (Varied lengths work to hold the reader's attention and prevent a 'sing-song' or 'choppy' flow). ~ Do you sometimes combine sentences, removing excess words and increasing the rhythm of the text? ~ Conversely, do you fall into the trap of combining sentences by using a linking word (such as 'and') too many times too close together (run-on sentences) and break the rhythm up? ~ Do you sometimes use strong, simple sentences to conclude scenes in a way that concludes the previous text and sum up the 'feeling'? Also, is there a hook at the conclusion of the scene or chapter? * Do the paragraphs/sections build and develop the plot in a cohesive fashion? Your story needs to have a logical pattern of development, where each scene develops plot and character in a believable fashion. Subsequent paragraphs and scenes should continue earlier threads, ultimately wrapping them all up in a way that is consistent with the truth of the story. New topics should be introduced skillfully. Any scene that doesn't contribute to plot development is probably unnecessary. Ask yourself in every scene "what is the purpose of this scene and how does it further my story?"
This is when your voice intrudes into the story to try and tell the reader something that logically would not be mentioned. For example, the character who describes herself thus: ~ As I talked with Bobby, my long brown hair, shining gloriously in the sunlight, escaped from its braid and cascaded down my back. There are very very few people who think or talk about themselves this way. It is the author intruding in an attempt to tell the reader what the character looks like. If it crops up, it needs to be removed and another way of communicating the information should be found.
I bet you expected this to be a long essay on how to perfect your grammar...well it's not. You have access to spell and grammar check in your word programme. You can pop down to the local bookshop and buy a copy of one of the excellent books on grammar (such as Woe is I). There are online resources such as Dictionary.com. You can proof read. You can take a community college class in basic English. There is no excuse for sloppy writing that is filled with spelling errors, faulty grammar, and simple mistakes in punctuation. So make sure that you: ~ check all your spelling
We all have the same starting point for our books -- a great idea. But what next? How do you write out that idea and create a story. Structure, communication, beginnings, middles and ends, characters, tension -- how do all these evolve from that starting concept? What do you do? You need to decide how to channel that idea -- through plot. There are many ways to do plot. Find one that works. The key scenes rule. When you set out to write, you hopefully have a direction to a special scene/s you need to get to. You need to structure the book around those scenes -- the exciting moments of the book. These are key scenes you need to access and explore. These are scenes that must happen. The hard decisions revolve around the best way to tell the story, and structure the book about those scenes. Chose a pov (which may change during revision processes). Look at what needs tweaking to bring life to the story. Choose voice/s and characters that work. Look at your library for examples of what you want to do. See if it will work for your story. Voice can alter the complexion of the book. Play with male, female, formal, childish, inappropriate, etc. Plus 1st, second, poetic, etc. So, key scene in mind, voice and pov set -- what comes next? Well at this point your overall plot is very patchy. You need filler -- when you create that remember to KISS. Start by writing down your plot in a few sentences. This should define your book. To start with don't try and make it catchy or smart. Just capture what you intend your book to be about. Think about outlining. Outlining is great -- it enables you to work out where your book is going and to tie up all the subplots. It is good for the author to have a clear idea of where you're going to. Write out an outline covering the book - characters, plots, scenes etc (5-10 single spaced pages). This is your working synopsis. Now, write a blurb -- distill your story down to a page or two that tells the story, basic plot and main characters. Think about doing a chapter by chapter, scene by scene breakdown. The advantage of this is that you can see where you introduced sub-plots and red herrings and where you concluded them. You can check that events logically pan out. And you have a guide for when you get stuck on a chapter -- look at the outline, skip ahead and continue writing, knowing your later addition of that missing chapter will be consistent with the story. What strategies do you have to do plotting? Find a way to break the book into manageable chunks -- beginning, middle and end. So head for each one at a time. Look at the opening -- it is crucial. The first 3-5 pages are pretty much it. You need voice, character, pace, plot, theme in the opening. It is the prompt as to what the book will be about. Don't Stop Rule -- what you write will have a bunch of blemishes, but keep going and get into the book. If you absolutely must come back to a section and fix it up (sudden change of direction for example) do it later. Complete at least another 100 pages and come back later to fix it. It doesn't need to sing at the start of the writing. First Chapter Law -- do not spend much time on it. You will need to rewrite it (maybe the first 2-3 chapters) anyway, if not outright discard them. Let yourself get into the book, engaged with it and find out where it is really going as these things alone will change the first chapter. So why rewrite it beforehand? Wait until you finish it. You may discard, rewrite or even shift the location of that chapter based upon what the rest of your story becomes. Especially after you have finished it. The final chapter must be a perfect conclusion to the first -- which won't happen until the final is written and you go back and revise the first based upon that. My initial first chapter in Har Megiddo is now something like chapter 8. Think about subplots -- these often pick up in the middle of the book. Usually involves some conflict (which is compulsory to any book). May arise from the solving of major obstacles to the main plot -- smaller problems rise up that help to create further obstacles to that main plot. It is common for the middle to become a muddle due to confusion of plot and subplot lines -- plot it out so you can keep track of the issues and follow them logically. Add in complications, have a sword of Damocles to add in problems and tension. Show the mirror side to the joy or happiness. In the middle you fight the barriers and obstacles to reach the end. The end is a sprint -- a race. Nothing new should be coming in (except the surprises which you've already set up) and closure is arriving -- but do not hurry things along just to reach the end. Do not have the reader hearing your desire to finish, but rather s/he should feel that this is a natural progression where it all wraps up nicely -- without the soliloquy of explanation by a character. The reader should have reached the conclusions with explanations as they read so they reach the end feeling satisfied it is all tied up. There should be a catharsis of some sort. Use the right ending -- whether it's happy or sad doesn't matter as long as it's the right one. There's also fly-by-your-seat plotting -- make it up as you go. This type of plotting can leave you stuck with "oh shit been there done that" realisation -- be prepared for it and figure out how to fix it believably. Think about writing the ending first -- or at least a description of it, so you know where you are going. Work backwards to unconnect the dots to the start. Then go forward and make sure they all connect. Do voluminous research to ground yourself in the story -- you know all the background information. You can write and tag the places you need to add detail in. Go back afterwards, research those things and then fill them in. Is plotting important? It isn't what compels you to write but if your book doesn't have it, you need three things - gorgeous prose, inspirational insight to human condition, short book to make it work! Think about storyboarding, journaling, word association, scene/chapter outlining, index carding, etc.
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2001-2008
Catherine Milne - All Rights Reserved