Dating tips, for guys
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Open doors for her, offer to carry stuff for her (sometimes
you have to offer more than once), offer her your jacket, walk between her and
the street; and at the very least, pay for dates.
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Don’t date a girl just because you’re out to ‘get some.’
Sure, there are girls out there with whom you could probably ‘score’ without
too much effort (they’re called prostitutes), but that’s not what it’s all
about. The whole purpose of dating is to
help you to discern if you’re called to marriage, and
to figure out whom you’re compatible with; and with more serious, exclusive
dating/courting, the goal is to find out if the one you’re dating is “the
one.” Sexual intercourse is a natural
result of a lifetime commitment, NOT a good reason to date someone for a
while.
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Don’t lust after the women you date (or any woman, for that
matter). That’s not cool at all, no
matter which way you twist it. Women are
people, NOT objects. By the same token,
don’t pressure them for sex. If you feel
strongly sexually attracted to someone you’re dating, talk to her about it; or
if you don’t feel like you can talk to her about it, then talk to a priest or
some other adult about it. See the respect page for more on this issue.
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Also, don’t let the women you date pressure you into
something that you’re not ready for or something that should be saved for
marriage. You’re just as much a person
as she is, so don’t let her use you as an object. If you feel like she’s pressuring you for
something that you don’t want to do, tell her to stop. If she doesn’t stop making advances, then
she’s not respecting your rights as a person; get out!
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Don’t settle. Make
sure that you’re firm in your standards, and don’t lower them; God will send
someone your way, if you’re called to marriage.
If you settle, then you’re only going to end up hurting yourself and/or
the woman you date in the end. Decide
what qualities you want in a future wife now.
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Make your limits and standards crystal clear in the
relationship. Discuss physical
limitations and make sure you’re on the same page. Don’t be afraid to do this.
It is very important. This can come up in conversation starting with, “Some
things that are really important to me in a relationship are…” The clearly
define your limits. Relationships are
about giving, not getting. In a dating relationship, you can give your
friendship, love, trust, and respect. In
marriage, you will also give your whole self. A girl who pressures you to do
anything beyond your limits is out to GET – and not interested in giving. Feeling the desire to have sex is not bad!
God created us as sexual beings. But
fantasizing or pressuring someone to have sex is wrong. Don’t do it, and don’t
put up with it!
More will be forthcoming, as I receive more tips from discussion board postings and e-mails