Tuesday, October 29, 2002

 
In math my desk smelled really good... it was weird.
Me: Hey, my desk smells really good.
Chris: That's weird
see?
posted by Tyler 6:51 PM

Saturday, October 26, 2002

 
God damn I hate cordless phones...
Kitchen phone= the phone that is never in the fucking kitchen.
My dumbass sister/mother to lesser extent love to take it into another room because they walk around the house when they are on the phone. Usually it ends up in my little sisters room... where there is a phone already! Why the hell does she need two phones in one room? Why the hell don't they put the fucking phone back in the kitchen so when someone is calling and I am here I don't have to run all the way upstairs to my room or down to the basement. Then when I tell them someone called they ask "Wheres the phone?" and i tell them it is probably up their ass where they left it...
Right now I am home alone and wanted the cordless phone so I could go work on my car (it's a piece of shit so I end up working on it a lot) and have the phone with me so I wouldn't miss calls.... I can't find it. It's not in my sisters room, not in my parents room, not in any room... not under a couch cushion (where people like to hide the remote.. there is a fucking coffee table! Set it on the table!)... I hit the little page button on the base to find it but who ever decided it would be fun to hide it also decided it would be fun to turn off the ringer... bitches!
posted by Tyler 7:34 PM

Friday, October 25, 2002

 
Joe is a blackbelt... I wish I were a blackbelt...
No, I wish I were a ninja. Man, I think it would just be fun to run around in a ninja suit. People would be like "Holy shit! He's a ninja!" and they would give me their pants and money so i wouldn't kill them. I would also need throwing stars, because those are bitchin... and those ninja vanishing balls from ninja turtles II secret of the ooze. I would start my own foot clan because since colorado is arid and cold we wouldn't worry about turtles...
I would be all running around and then someone stops me and says "Tyler... what are you doing dressed as a ninja?" and I will be all "Ninja Vanish!" and use a smoke thing like in ninja turtles and they look around and I am gone and then suddenly i'm all "Ninja Kick!" and I kill them. Yeah...
Speaking of ninjas Cheerleader Ninjas is a delightful kung-fu panty romp.
posted by Tyler 10:03 PM

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

 
chuckomaticka: hey this snake/penis combo is awesome looking
tylertrujillo: Hehe...
tylertrujillo: I should post that on my site
chuckomaticka: lol
chuckomaticka: it feels good to be the inspiration of so many blogs
posted by Tyler 5:20 PM

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

 
No I am not this washington sniper...
Guns are boring, i'd use something that covers a larger area... like a flame thrower.
Seriously, killing isn't funny... unless a clown does it... to another clown... with a big funny clown revolver.
be back when my mojo returns.
posted by Tyler 9:59 PM

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

 
Me: You there! What day is it?
Orphan: Why sir, it's christmas day!
Chris: Damn ho bag orphan *runs over orphan with car*
posted by Tyler 6:35 PM

Sunday, October 06, 2002

 
Downtown I saw this old ass TV sitting in this alley and it had a piece of masking tape that said ".75" so I put 3 quarters on the ground and took the TV. hehe... it works but I already have plenty of TVs. I was thinking of smashing it, but i've smashed so many tvs in my days that it just doesn't seem that fun anymore. Right now it's in my trunk. I'll do something with it eventually... maybe sell it for a dollar.
Then me and chris saw joe at subway, and I showed him the big ass old tv. At 8 he was off work and we went to the drive in to see signs and triple x... both movies we've already seen and were disappointed but we wanted to see if we could hide joe with my tinted windows (it worked).
Then we went to IHOP and we always have good times there. Bottomless pot of coffee.... I love you IHOP
posted by Tyler 2:29 AM

Friday, October 04, 2002

 
Well, didn't get the job... I was "One of many qualified applicants" but "We have decided at this time to choose another applicant" and "We will keep your application on file for future reference" woohoo! How many people do they keep on file? I must be special.
posted by Tyler 11:46 PM

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

 
It has come to our attention that very few people respect our chruch.
Churchy: So what does your church believe?
Me: Jesus was really called by the heysoos pronunciation and he just stole car stereos.
Chruchy: Before cars were around... yeah, that's realistic
Me: Oh... and you expect that he died and came back, then died again and is going to come back some time? I guess our idea does sound pretty stupid.
Churchy: He didn't die again... he
Me: Shove it
People just don't understand a religion that is based on the NFL and Bridget Hall. Solution?
Jesus vs Chris English in a grudge match...
On the 6th day, God created man.
On the 7th day
Chris
Fights
JESUS!
posted by Tyler 7:49 PM