Tuesday, December 31, 2002

 
Last night I was driving on my way to meet joe and ryan and I needed to get in the right lane. I look, no one was in my blind spot and I go over. Just then a white car is coming up on me extremely fast after making a right turn. He starts flipping me off and follows me. I keep on going and find a gas station and pull in. He pulls up and parks me in. I realize no one is around at this gas station and he walks up. I get out and apologize, even though I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, he just wanted to see how fast he could go in congested traffic and got pissed off when he had to slow down. He said, to the best of my memory, "FUCK FUCKITY MOTHER FUCKER YOU GONNA BE SORRY BITCH". and he was shoving me, but he wasn't very big. He was about average height but was really skinny. So I basically beat the crap out of him and when he was down, I drove over the curb, through a ditch and then got the hell out of there. Bastard.... my knuckles were swollen but now they're just hurty. Stupid bastard.
posted by Tyler 7:03 PM

Monday, December 30, 2002

 
tylertrujillo: OH GOD I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!
chuckomaticka: !
chuckomaticka: tyler no!
posted by Tyler 2:57 PM

Friday, December 27, 2002

 
I've never been much of a cat person. My parents had cats when I was born. When the cats died (not all at once, they died in their seperate ways) my parents got me and my sisters a puppy. Then they got us another puppy. Having two dogs I realized that I like dogs 100x more than cats.
So when my mom adopted a fricken cat from the humane society, i wasn't as excited as she would have liked me to be.
Mom: I got a cat
Me: Um... great
which is my passive aggressive way of saying "Damn it mom, you know I wanted a puppy. Why couldn't you just get a fricken puppy? TAKE IT BACK AND GET ME A GOD DAMN PUPPY!"
posted by Tyler 1:13 AM

Sunday, December 22, 2002

 
Well, broncos lost.
Probably because they played like shit. At least they lost to the raiders because I like jerry rice. Class act...
Eddy Mac got hurt though, I like him even more. If I were a woman, or gay, I would so marry Ed Mac.
posted by Tyler 8:18 PM

Saturday, December 21, 2002

 
It's true
Bryan says: like little drummer matt
Bryan says: or holly jesus matt ate all the candy!... or... rudolph the red nosed matt's a dick
posted by Tyler 12:26 PM

 
"By jove, I do believe our bong has melted!"
"Indubitably!"
posted by Tyler 12:18 PM

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

 
It's raining, i hate rain. I better start working on my weather controll machine.
posted by Tyler 6:29 PM

Monday, December 16, 2002

 
Yesterdays post made little sense, for good reason.

Okay, no reason.
I really don't want to be in school this week, I have finals on thursday and friday (friday is a half day) and then I have winter break. There is nothing i am going to learn in the two days I don't have finals. NOTHING. I decided it was pointless to be in school so I left during lunch and drove up the canyon to go fishing. I needed to go outside, I needed to fish. Fishing is a drug, the most highly addictive and satisfying drug there is. Besides heroin.
posted by Tyler 7:40 PM

Sunday, December 15, 2002

 
Eqxanthous: I have a funny dirty joke
Eqxanthous: what's the difference between a priest and acne?
chuckomaticka: this one is going to hurt
tylertrujillo: I wait until you hit puberty to come on your face!
Eqxanthous: acne waits until you're a teenager to come on your face
tylertrujillo: hahahaha
tylertrujillo: wait
Eqxanthous: lol
chuckomaticka: lol
tylertrujillo: now i'm sad
tylertrujillo: i made fun of myself
Eqxanthous: rofl
posted by Tyler 10:17 PM

Thursday, December 12, 2002

 
If you know anyone who has put thousands of dollars into their honda civic/accord to make it faster/faster looking (ie welding a fucking huge ass spoiler to it), kill them. Or sterilize them to remove them from the gene pool. Do the world a favor.
I was driving my moms car (Taurus GL with a SHO engine/transmission) and I hear this EEEEEEEEE..... EEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE next to me and see this kid in a 4cyl jetta+spoiler (which means its faster) and 18"rims (chrome... also makes it faster) pumping 900watts of bass out of his subwoofer (faster...). He does the stupid "Let's race" head bob and I decide to acknowledge. You see, judging by his shitty car I can assume he has done the following modifications.
Spark plugs, spark plug wires, K&N air filter+cold air box, Huge ass muffler/catback, and a chrome shift knob(faster). He thinks that he gets the following horsepower gains... 10+15+10+10+20. Wow, that's 65hp more than stock right? Maybe if stock jettas had paper clips for spark plug wires and newspaper shoved into their intakes.
Okay, back to where I was. The light turns green and he thinks that letting out his clutch at redline will make him go faster, but since he doesn't have a limited slip differencial like me, his passenger side tire is all thats spinning. Meanwhile me and my 225hp taurus leave him behind. He tries again at the next light, and I once again toast him.
I like to think he'll realize how stupid it is to race in a commuter car and quit. But most likely he'll strap on a 75hp nitrous kit and wear out his engine, then ask daddy for a new jetta.
posted by Tyler 10:26 PM

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

 
I've been really angry because of stress and have been going off on people for no reason. God damn I want my winter break. I've been applying to colleges now, but I have to really try because I don't have garunteed admission to a school like CU because of my grades. I am way ahead with my SAT scores and just have to write and essay to explain that the ho bag highschool teachers don't challenge me because they have to cater to the needs of the stupid kids. Only I'll try to be a bit more tasteful.
posted by Tyler 8:26 PM

Saturday, December 07, 2002

 
tylertrujillo: "I'm bored"
tylertrujillo: lick puppy
chuckomaticka: hehe
chuckomaticka: *pupils dilate*
tylertrujillo: Mom: Tyler, are you licking your puppy?
tylertrujillo: Me: I'm not not licking my puppy
chuckomaticka: i'm not
chuckomaticka: dammit
chuckomaticka: lol
chuckomaticka: you beat me
tylertrujillo: Haha christopher chalstrom, the day is mine!
posted by Tyler 9:50 PM

 
I was getting gas in my car which is a 1988 Nova that has the turbo badge off a saab when a stupid hootch with an eclipse complete with muffler big enough to fit your entire head in pulls up to the pump next to mine.
Stupid hootch: "Nice car" but she was sarcastic.
Me: It's not much, but my parents gave it to me for my 16th birthday... the day before they were killed by a drunk driver.
Stupid hootch: *cries*
posted by Tyler 11:43 AM

 

Hehe... it's funny because it's true. I always like getting money that has been altered, be it a phone number, blood stain, or humorous message.
posted by Tyler 12:44 AM

Thursday, December 05, 2002

 
I was looking through some papers and apparently if I lose a limb I get a check 36,000 dollars from insurance to do whatever the hell I want with. So here's the challenge ladies, if you can make me lose a limb during sex, you get 36,000 dollars.
posted by Tyler 6:27 PM

 
Anyone see the commercials on Fox for Joe Millionaire? Apparently this guy has a secret...
I think he's gay. He's good looking, good with women, he's definately gay.
posted by Tyler 8:02 AM

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

 
Today we were having a nice discussion
Girl: Did you hear about that old man in England who will pay 125,000 dollars to any girl who can kill him by giving him a heart attack during sex
Me: I'll do it! I'll do it right now!
Girl: I don't think he is letting men try
Me: Damn, i'd be like a jackhammer too.
Girl: You're messed up
When she was really thinking "Jackhammer eh?"
posted by Tyler 6:02 PM

Sunday, December 01, 2002

 
LHSTIGER8: hi
LHSTIGER8: ?
LHSTIGER8: ?
LHSTIGER8: ?
tylertrujillo: i'm busy, ho bag
LHSTIGER8: ho bag damn nice way to say hello
LHSTIGER8: damn
LHSTIGER8: all u gotta do is tell me that
LHSTIGER8: what bit ur butt in the wrong area
LHSTIGER8: pop a mydol
tylertrujillo: You know what i hate? When people keep talking after i say i'm busy
LHSTIGER8: ya well if u didnt insult them then maybe u wouldnt get a smart ass remark dip wad obber dike
tylertrujillo: That wasn't really a smart ass remark... douche
posted by Tyler 9:27 PM

 
Last week I had a Youths for Socialist Action bumper sticker on my car and some capitalist pig scraped it off. That made me mad... so I decided to get a bumper sticker less likely to offend people.

I have 4 of these... Each one with glue stronger than the last!
posted by Tyler 4:22 PM