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OK, UCSBdad's challenge (and wicked post at 'The David Kemper Interview' by UCSBDad) inspired this little stab at evilfic, so it's All His Fault and I deny all responsibility. And don't say I didn't warn you <vbeg>.
Disclaimer: I don't own David Kemper (and for all I know Henson's may have copyrighted him too), but I wish I did because he's sooooo cuuuute when he gets snarky. Ahem. Sorry.
In an exclusive interview today, David Kemper revealed some of the much-heralded "radical changes" that Farscape will be undergoing in the 4th and 5th seasons.
"We're all very pleased with how successful the show has been so far," he said, speaking from his secret hideaway. "But naturally we also want to respond to the concerns of those fans who were worried that the show had become 'too dark' and 'depressing'."
"We haven't yet fully exploited the potential of the 'Henson's' name to appeal to children as well as adults, so this season we'll be emphasizing the plucky and warm-hearted aspects of Rygel's character, and we hope to have the new Hynerian Furby in production in time for the New Year. Obviously, going for a more family audience will mean reducing the levels of sex and violence in the show, but we think that's a fair price to pay."
"I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but there's a major twist early on in the new season when we discover that Karvok really *was* lying all along and the Crichton who died was just a clone. When Aeryn discovers this, she realizes that of course she doesn't need to grieve for him after all, and - well, I won't say what happens between her and the real Crichton, but I think shippers everywhere are going to be very happy."
"We've also had some discussions with Ben Browder and reminded him who owns his contract, and from now on he's going to be playing Crichton's psychological problems in a more 'upbeat' and 'light-hearted' manner. No offence to Ben, and we always welcome his suggestions about the direction of the show, but really we think he should just stick to standing around looking good in leather trousers. I mean, I know the character's been horribly tortured and driven insane, but all this angst was just getting boring. Besides, he's supposed to be the hero, not some wimp. Kirk got captured and tortured by evil aliens on a regular basis but Shatner never tried to introduce psychological complexity or stuff like that."
"All the arc plots were getting kind of hard to follow, especially for those viewers who only watched the show every few months, so in season 4 we'll be returning to a more episodic structure, with the crew of Moya coming to a different planet each ep, encountering a new 'Alien of the Week' and solving their problems through the application of some good old-fashioned human know-how. You can never have too many 'Star Trek' rip-offs (oops, sorry, 'homages'), that's what I always say."
"But don't worry, we will still have some arcs - there's a wonderful new plotline coming up where the crew find and adopt a lost alien baby. Obviously, we've had lots of fun with John's incompetent male attempts to care for the child (as we all know, the Y chromosome makes it impossible to change nappies), but as the season progresses I think you'll see Aeryn's more feminine, maternal side emerging, and of course this is reflected in Terry Ryan's great new costume designs. Lots of pink. Frills."
"In response to popular demand, the character of Zhaan will be returning when Stark discovers a way to regrow her from a cutting taken by one of the DRDs. Sadly, Virginia Hey's health problems mean that she couldn't take on the role on a regular basis again, but we think that viewers will soon warm to the actress who's replacing her in the role."
"In conclusion, I'd like to thank all the fans out there for their invaluable suggestions, especially the ones written in ALL CAPITALS or beginning with 'You suck.' Those were great. We couldn't have done it without you, guys."
