Little Base of Horrors

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Curufea presents: Little Base of Horrors
(An incomplete parody of "Little Shop of Horrors")

Note from unohoo: Curufea began posting this on the Farscape bboard November 26, 2001 with no promise that it would be a complete parody of "Little Shop of Horrors". As I like it in its incomplete form, I decided to place whatever bits I could get here. Hopefully this will grow well beyond the initial two pieces.

Unchartered Territories; Meeting Maldis; SOMEWHERE NOT DREN; Scientist;

Unchartered Territories

(U.T. – to the tune of Downtown, Little Shop of Horrors)

GILINA
Alarm goes off at work
And you start fleeing

ZHAAN
Sing it child

GILINA
You run at least eight arns
From the powers that have always been
Till you see P.K.s

STARK
Then You go

COMPANY
U.T.
Where the folks are broke
U.T.
Where your life's a joke
U.T.
When you buy your token
you go
In the Unknown

STARK
Yes, you go

COMPANY
U.T.

KRACKIC
Where the shuttles stop

COMPANY
U.T.

RYGEL
Where the food is slop

COMPANY
U.T.
Where Clansmen keep Taking the Stone
In the Unknown

P.K.s you’re training up a million mercs
P.K.s you're nothing but a bunch of jerks
Having no real culture or native arts
Showing no emotion in your small cold hearts

P.K.s you cater to a million wars
You pimp your skills to all just like so many whores
The job's are really menial
You'll soon be dead
And when you break a law you'll head

COMPANY______________AERYN
U.T._________________Where the guys steal ships.
U.T._________________Where you need more clips.
U.T._________________Where relationships are no go.
In the Unknown_______In the Unknown
In the Unknown_______In the Unknown
In the Unknown_______In the Unknown
In the Unknown!______In the Unknown!

CRICHTON
Dad! All the time I’m compared to dad
I keep telling God that it’s sad,
and he tells me "Gee, you’re not bad
research more, kid."
Oh, I started life as a scientist,
a nice guy to meet
In the Unknown
They took me in, gave me bruises, a cell,
Some food cubes and a gun
Treat me like dirt, tell me I’m dumb,
Which I am___________________COMPANY
So I live____________________U.T.
That's your home address
Ya live______________________U.T.
When your life's a mess
Ya live______________________U.T.
Where depressions' jes'
Status Quo___________________In the Unknown

Someone show me a way to get outa here,
'cause I constantly pray I'll get outa here
Please, won't somebody say I'll get outa here
Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here

CRICHTON______________________COMPANY
Show me how and I will________U.T., there's no rules for us
I'll get outa here
I'll start climbin' uphill____U.T., 'cause it's dangerous
and get outa here
Someone tell me I still_______U.T. where the law is just a no show
could get outa here
Someone tell lady luck________When you live
that I'm stuck here

AERYN
Gee, it sure would be swell__U.T. it’s the gun’s best time
to get outa here
bid the P.K.s farewell_______U.T. where a quiet life’s a crime
and get outa here
I'd move heaven and hell_____U.T. Scorpy will never go. He'll show
to get outa here
I'd do I dunno what__________U.T.
to get outa here
but a hell of a lot__________U.T.
to get outa here,
people tell me there's not___U.T.
a way outa here,
but believe me, I've gotta
leave the Unknown!___________Unknown!

Meeting Maldis

(DA-DOO from Little Shop of Horrors)

Da-doo,_________CRICHTON
________________I was walkin’ around on a commerce planet that day
Shop da-doo,
________________and I passed by this place where this old jester guy
Joke da-doo
________________he tried to sell me weird and exotic knowledge,
Scam da-doo,
________________'cause he knew, you see, that Crais was after my body.
Da da da da da da-doo.

________________He could not offer me freedom from Crais that day.
Nope, da-doo,
________________so I was just about to, ya know, walk on by,
Good for you,
________________when suddenly,
Da doo
________________and without warning, my soul was ripped right out of my flesh.

________________It got very dark and there was this strange
________________room like something from another world.
Da-doo,
________________And when the light came back this old guy was just standing there,

Maldis-who
________________just, you know, talking, about my secret fear.
Crais wants you.
________________I coulda sworn he hadn't heard me before,
________________but he promised to make it good with Crais anyways,
________________for his own entertainment.
Sha la la, la la la, la la la loo.

SOMEWHERE NOT DREN

(Somewhere that’s green – Little Shop of Horrors)

AERYN
I know Crichton's the greatest, but I'm fighting a semi-sadist
So once I have died, and been in a bomb blast
Still, that Crichton's a cutie
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty
And I dream of a place where we could be together at last

A Marauder of our own, Command Carrier too,
A full weapons complement, and a loyal crew,
A defence screen that will work again and again
In an orbit that we share somewhere not dren.

He researches and stuff
He loves to make me guns
I train like a Peace Keeper
And I try not to look too tough
There's Erp-like types of furniture
So he knows he’s home again
In the often recyc’d air somewhere not dren.

After shooting all our enemies that we both have seen
We snuggle safely behind our big, enourmous defence screen

I'm his Erpman bride
He thinks that he knows best
The kids watch me in training
As targets finally rest
An image of the perfectly well defended haven.

In the unknown,
I dream we'll go
somewhere not dren.

Scientist

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