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Silly Ficlet: Dear Harvey

Dear Harvey,

I have been trying to lose weight for the past five years, but instead of it coming off, I keep gaining weight. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Hippy

Dear Hippy,

Eat less.
                        ______________________________

Dear Harvey,

There are people in my head that take over my body. They make me do strange things. They talk to me. How can I get rid of them?

Yours truly,

Norman; what? *I’m in control now  – Bob here*; ** Oh NO you’re not! - Nancy

Dear Norman/Bob/Nancy,

Live with it.
                        ______________________________

Dear Harvey,

I have a big wedding planned and I have invited my father, but not his wife. I hate her. He won’t come without her. I want my father to walk down the aisle with me. All my relatives on my mother’s side are up in arms about this and won’t come to the wedding if my father brings his wife. My own mother won’t come. What am I to do? Please help me, I’m

Desperate
Dear Desperate,

Cancel the wedding.
                        ______________________________

Dear Harvey,

I am a junior in High School and I am hopelessly in love with my chemistry teacher * who has NOTICED me *. He wants me to see him after school and promises I will pass chemistry if I do what he says. All my friends are telling me not to do it, that I’m just prostituting myself for a grade. Should I ignore my friends and see my teacher?

Torn

Dear Torn,

Yes.
                        ______________________________


“John, I’m done with my advice column for today. You can go back to work now.”

“It’s about time.” John said.
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