Miscellaneous information on Zonk
(in a handy dandy format!)

Founded:
c1970's (possibly as early as the 1960's) at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Tx, USA.

Refounded:
c1997-8

Highest honors:
a handshake
being hit in the head with an open hand above the temple
being shown the stinger (the good kind)
anything else we say

Sacred items:
THE Zonk shirt (the sacred shirt)
the sacred shower curtain

Egroups category:
Top: Society: Activism: Anti-

Egroups homepage:
http://www.egroups.com/group/zonkian

Movies and Books:
The Princess Bride (the movie, not the lame book.)
Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail
The More than Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Dead Poets' Society
Real Genius
The Anti-Muffins - by Madeleine L'Engle

Games:
Jacket Golf
Risk
Messing with people's minds
Taunting frat boys
Calvinball

Allies:
Zowie
S.W.D.D.A.

There are also other organizations that are compatible with the Zonk philosophy. These are not being revealed at this time due to the secrecy of their relationship with Zonk.

Enemies:
None, in the frat game, we are Switzerland, militantly neutral. However, we oppose snobbery and fratism whenever we see it.

Meetings:
Every Tuesday in Old Main Park, Brownwood Tx. 3:00 AM, or whenever the sprinklers are set to go. If a more inconvenient time is discovered, please let us know. It was discussed that we might meet on the moon, but that was over the top. All members are required to attend every meeting.
Penalty for attendance of compulsory meeting is immediate expulsion with possible fine.
(Of course no one will admit to seeing you there or risk expulsion)

There are rumors of unofficial meetings between the members at spontaneous and random times.
These must stop as we might actually get something done (not that we are the S.W.D.D.A.s).

Dues:
$500.00 (US) per regular academic semester.
$1,000.00 (US) per summer semester.
$1,500.00 (US) per Christmas.
$1,500.00 (US) per Hannukah.
$1,500.00 (US) per Ramadan.
$1,500.00 (US) per Kwanzaa.
$1,500.00 (US) per Groundhog Day.
$2,000.00 (US) on your birthday.

Payment must be in US funds only. Cash preferred. No credit cards or Enron stock accepted.
Gold Pressed Latinum or Mithril acceptable.

Penalty for payment of dues is immediate expulsion with confiscation of any dues and/or fines paid.

Policy:
Policy is on a first-come-first-served basis.

Blind obedience to the collective:
Not required.

The three Questions:
See the three questions page.
If you can truthfully answer the three questions correctly, you can join.

Expulsion:
Offenses requiring expulsion are:
Paying of dues (we keep the dues)
Attendance of any compulsory meeting
The joining of any fraternal (pledging) organization (including "grown up" frats)
Snobbish behavior

Why we don't allow fratboys to join:
Fraternities are filled with snobs.
A person's membership in a pledging organization contaminates that person with "snob viruses."
Of course, members of non-pledging societies can join (e.g. Gamma Beta Phi).

Do I have to be a current HPU student to join?
Oc course not!
Unlike frats, we don't maintain silly little requirements.
Our membership includes students, faculty, alumni, donut shop owners, and still even more people.
We prefer that you have at least *some* tie to the university, but as long as you subscribe to our basic ideals, then it's no problem

What does our name mean?
Why did we choose it?
We chose our name to imitate the original Zonk, which existed at HPU in years gone by. We have no idea what was going through their minds when they picked the name.
It has been suggested that Zonk! was one of the sounds made when Batman hit a bad guy. (That was where Zowie! got their name.)
There has been some confusion among uninformed people that Zonk might be a reference to illegal drug activity. It is not.
The current incarnation of Zonk does not approve of drug abuse.

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Go to the Zonk unpage
Go to the unfrat page