It's too hot.
It's too cold.
We need rain.
We need sun.
It's so windy.
We need a breeze.
I hate the snow.

Why do so many people whine incessantly about the weather? It doesn't make sense to hear the same person griping in the winter that it's too cold and grumbling in the summer that it's too hot. They want rain for their flowers and lawn, but curse dreary wet days.

SHUT UP!

I remember Yul Brynner singing, "The rain must never fall but after sun down" in The King and I. It showed his character's pompous attitude, but now seems to describe the weather sentiments of many people.

Don't like your weather, then move. You need to learn that no place is perfect. Believe it or not, Mother Nature isn't going to change for you so enjoy each glorious day before you are pushing up the daisies that need rain, also.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/14/2002

. . .

As promised, BRA Etiquette

Showing your bra straps, especially in contrasting colours, is so 1999 trashy. Tuck them in or invest in a strapless bra or new shirts.

Don't wear a bra that is darker than your shirt colour. Everyone thinks you get dressed in the dark.

Peekaboo bras went out about the same time as inside-out T-shirts.

The only person the Wonder Bra has fooled is you!

Less than 1% of the female population can successfully wear the tube top and that's probably airbrushed anyhow.

Contrary to advertisements, the only person who notices and cares that your bra and panties match is you! Translation: I don't want to see your panties either.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/12/2002

. . .

I thought this was common knowledge. I thought this was something EVERYONE did. I thought you were brighter than this.

I just saw someone SNEEZE without covering their mouth/nose. GROSS. While I'm on the subject, I've seen people cough without covering their mouth, too. And what's with the people who use the restroom, then don't bother washing their hands??? GROSS.

If you don't do it for yourself, jeez, think of those of us around you who don't want your snot or any other of your bodily projectiles.

If your parents didn't teach you to do these simple things, they were wrong. So, take this time to learn from ME now: Cover you mouth/nose when you sneeze or cough and for goodness sake, wash your hands after using the bathroom (or after you sneeze or cough into them!).

Bwitchy-Brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/9/2002

. . .

Grocery store etiquette lesson

Don't get into line, then expect to be able to run off to grab "one more thing," while I hold your spot. I will move your basket.

Have your coupons and form of payment ready, instead of having to dig and decide. You don't look rich with all the credit cards, the reason you aren't using them is probably because they are maxxed out!

If you expect a store to price-match other stores, then YOU need to bring the correct sales papers and mention it to the cashier before she starts scanning your order. It's not their job to read your mind and memorize every other store!

Give me room and quit pushing your basket into me. It won't make me hurry.

Don't load your items onto the belt until mine are completely up.

Control your kids and quit blaming the store for having candy and junk by the lanes. YOU need to teach them to behave sometime, why not start now?

Hang up the cell phone, so you can concentrate on your order and get your payment ready.

Be courteous to the cashier and bagger. It won't kill you!

Don't ram your basket into my car or block my car with it. I move pretty quick and you just might ram it suddenly when I push it back to you.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/6/2002

. . .

Ladies, please take the time and get fitted for a properly fitting bra! Not only do you look ridiculous in one that is two sizes too small, but it is a terrible strain for your back, shoulders and neck.

If you can't find a lingerie boutique to assist in a proper fitting, Fredericks of Hollywood has a terrific primer on measuring for their line here: www.fredericks.com/Salon_Measure.asp?

Here is one from Yahoo! for buying a Sports Bra. shopping.yahoo.com/guides/sports/fit_bra.html

You should never just buy a bra off the rack in your "usual size." Not very many women are willing to return an ill-fitting bra, and many discount stores won't take undergarments back without a fight, if at all.

Remember that cup and under-bust sizes vary from manufacturer to manufacturer. Weight loss or gain can change your bra size, too. Some features may make a bra more or less comfortable, like wide straps and underwire. A sports bra might be a good choice.

Put some real time and effort into measuring and trying on different types and sizes, and your body may thank you!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/5/2002

. . .

FridayFive.org again.
1. What is your lineage? Where are your ancestors from?
75% from Europe
2. Of those countries, which would you most like to visit?
Ireland, I like the castles.
3. Which would you least like to visit? Why?
Germany.
4. Do you do anything during the year to celebrate or recognize your heritage?
I have a birthday and like St. Patrick's Day.
5. Who were the first ancestors to move to your present country (parents, grandparents, etc)?
That mostly has not been determined.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 8/2/2002

. . .

Dear Mechanic, Oil change guy, car wash folks.

I like my radio station. I like the CD that is in my player. PLEASE do not CHANGE it. You can turn it down or even off, but changing the radio station is RUDE.

Bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/30/2002

. . .

Chiropractors are NOT real doctors, they do not attend traditional medical schools.

DON'T substitute them for professional medicine.

DON'T believe the ones who claim they can cure almost any ill with adjustments.

DON'T believe the ones who claim they are Sports Medicine Chiropractors, the fancy title means nothing.

DON'T buy the purification products they try to hawk. Those toxin removers are a scam.

Cracking your back and rotating your ankles won't cure asthma or allergies, but relying upon alternative medicine could drastically harm your health. Chiropracty is not a long-term treatment, necessary for many years. In fact, it is just the opposite: the back and neck should not be forced to crack, especially repeatedly, since the risk of permanent spinal cord injury or stroke is always there.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/29/2002

. . .

If you tell me I'm too skinny and need to gain weight, are you ready for my answer?
You are too fat and need to lose weight!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/29/2002

. . .

When you see someone who is reading a book or newspaper, don't interrupt with small talk. And if you DO feel the need to interrupt, if that person gives you a quick reply and goes back to reading immediately, CATCH THE HINT!!!
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/25/2002

. . .

Darwin Award possibility?
Factory worker dies after being submerged in chocolate vat: how long until the chocolate ends up on EBAY?
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/24/2002

. . .

Million $ ideas I should have had (after reading about them):
1. Authoring the book, "Why Your Life Sucks"
2. Advertising for funeral homes in New Jersey
3. Finding partners for publicly trading a 5-star brothel with 18 themed rooms in Australia for A$120 per hour.

A bit more interesting than a typical workday.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/22/2002

. . .

This is our first Friday 5 here, so back off!
1. Where were you born? Third rock from the sun
2. If you still live there, where would you rather move to? If you don't live there, do you want to move back? Why or why not? Living here until the ozone or oxygen is gone. I like it, I like breathing.
3. Where in the world do you feel the safest? My grave.
4. Do you feel you are well-traveled? No, I still need to cross a few oceans.
5. Where is the most interesting place you've been? A courtroom.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/19/2002

. . .

YAMS - yet another meme survey from Kristiv, borrowed from Bitchen.
Which song:
reminds you of an ex-lover: Into the Night, Benny Mardones
reminds you of an ex-friend: Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone, Glass Tiger
makes you cry: With Arms Wide Open, Creed
makes you laugh: Roxanne, The Police
makes you wanna dance: 1999, Prince
makes you wanna sing: I Feel Like a Woman, Shania Twaine
reminds you of the one you want: More Than a Feeling, Boston
reminds you of the one you love: More Than a Feeling, Boston
do you wish you wrote: My Heart will go on, from Titanic
do you never want to hear again: Get The Party Started, Pink
do you want to get married to: theme to Chariots of Fire
sums up your teenage years: Against All Odds, Phil Collins
do you like to wake up to: Freeze Frame, J Geils
do you like out of your parents' record collection: Benny and the Jets, Elton John
do you love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
do you love the video more than the tune: Land of Confusion, Genesis
reminds you of your first crush: Jack and Diane, John Mellencamp
do you love which is from your favorite movie: How Do I Live by Trisha Yearwood, from Con Air
makes you think of the moon: NONE
makes you think of stars: Lucky Star, Madonna
makes you think of the sun: Walking on Sunshine, Katrina and the Waves
makes you think of the night: When the Night Comes, Joe Cocker
makes you think of sex: What's Love Got to do with it? Tina Turner
makes you think of being alone: She's Gonna Make It, Garth Brooks
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/18/2002

. . .

Hard to believe these celebrity couples didn't last, NOT!
1. Angelina and Billy Bob - Angie was "the other woman," what goes around, comes around.
2. Mariah and Eminem - Not too long after "recovering" from her mental breakdown, Mariah dates a guy who writes songs about murdering his child's mother. Add another year of therapy or a "Lifetime" movie.
3. Britney and Justin - Her phony "virginal" image, nuff said.

Not much longer predictions
1. Cruise and Cruz - she's virtually regulated to being his "event date," supposedly too "busy with their careers" to spend time together...Rock Hudson was married, too.
2. Pamela and Kid Rock - How shallow can it get?
3. Liza Minnelli and David Gest - They want a "reality show" about their lives. Yep, Liza, 4th time is a charm!
4. Julia Roberts and Daniel Moder - Yet another "the other woman," what goes around, comes around, Julia.

Can you believe?
1. Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora - married more than 7 years
2. Arnold and Maria - married more than 16 years
3. Lisa Hartman and Clint Black - married more than 10 years
4. Connie Chung and Maury Povich - married more than 18 years
5. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward - married more than 44 years
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/17/2002

. . .

What if sunscreen causes cancer?
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/16/2002

. . .

I'm at a red light. The light turns green. Before the bulb in the green light even has a chance to fully luminate, you beep at me. Guess what? You just earned yourself another 30 seconds at a green light without moving. And...if you beep at me again, we're sitting through the whole thing.

It's one thing to politely honk if it's been green for a second or two and I haven't noticed...but not the moment it turns green.

Also, don't be angry with me when I actually slow to a stop at a yellow light. Guess what...that's what it's intention is...for you to slow to a stop, not for you to hit the gas pedal and zoom through it.

Bwitchy-Brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/13/2002

. . .

STOP EATING WITH YOUR MOUTH WIDE OPEN!
I don't care to keeping seeing what you have shoveled into your mouth
STOP SLURPING/SMACKING!
You may sound like a cow but this isn't a pasture!
USE A NAPKIN!
Slop on your face and hands is disgusting.
AND TEACH YOUR CHILDREN!
Unless you prefer displaying the messy mirror of you.

Would you find it appetizing if I walked past your table and let loose a stinky and squishy loud fart? Then asked to borrow your napkin?

Table manners: they aren't just for kids anymore!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/11/2002

. . .

What is it with the neighbors who think they are lawn and gardening gurus?

Yes, your large and blooming with color flower beds are spectacular, but that is no reason why they need to be covering the sidewalk.

Lawn ornaments are tacky after 5

Strewn household items, like toilets, bed frames and bathtubs, across your yard as flower pots are always tasteless.

Nobody, except maybe dethroned Martha Stewart, is impressed with your golf course-like diagonal mowing. It's a waste of gas and obsessive-compulsive. Seek help. Or go get a job at a country club!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/10/2002

. . .

Think about it:
1. Why do I have to pay to keep my phone number unlisted? It's not taking up space in a phone book.
2. Meteorologists are as credible as psychics.
3. If a man makes a decision and there isn't a woman around, how could it possibly be right?
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/9/2002

. . .

Good God people...watch where you're going!! If you suddenly stop your pace of walking and I bump into you, DO NOT be pissed at me. YOU should apologize, not pause and wait for my apology. Crowded places are hard enough to manuever without you stopping in the middle of a populous area to do nothing. Walk to the side. Slow your pace. Do something other that stop dead in your tracks!

bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/7/2002

. . .

Are we really supposed to believe that someone with a college degree cannot find ANY work except flipping burgers or in a convenience store?

I have several theories behind this whine:
1. They can't apply where there is a pee test (drug test.)
2. They haven't learned to read, especially Classified Ads.
3. They have inflated resumes and expect to start at the top.
4. They want to keep their college lifestyle with flexible work hours.
5. Mommy and Daddy are still footing the bill.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/5/2002

. . .

Today's "Unpopular thoughts"
1. Ever notice how many severely obese people there are at a buffet restaurant?
2. Ever wonder how many of these "cancer" cases in celebrities are actually face-lifts and tummy tucks?
3. Ever think how fewer "news" stories there will be when opening lines are not, "In the first (insert holiday here) after Sept. 11--"?
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 7/5/2002

. . .