Ungrateful bwitches: a ranting blog

wednesday, july 3

Today's "Life Lessons"
1. Don't take Martha Stewart's stock tips.
2. Don't ask Liz Taylor for marriage advice.
3. Remember that supermodels are airbrushed in photos.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/20/2002
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thursday, june 27

Read the damn signs...if it says, "STOP" then STOP.
If the one behind the counters says, "ONE PERSON AT A TIME," then do NOT try to push me out of the way, when it IS my freakin turn!
And I am not going to turn when the sign says, "NO TURN ON RED." I don't give a damn how many times you honk and flip me off, you are NOT worth the cost of a ticket or my insurance increase.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/20/2002
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tuesday, june 25

If you work out at a gym or public area...TAKE A TOWEL WITH YOU. It should not be my responsibility to wipe down your gross sweat. I wipe my area off, you should too. And yes, if you're a woman, you DO sweat...not glisten...when you're working out!
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/20/2002
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thursday, june 20

Responsible dog ownership.
It's simple
1. Leash or teach boundaries and keep a watchful eye
2. Spay or neuter
3. If they won't be quiet, keep them inside
Stupid dog-owning nit wits
But this is typical
1. Let their dog roam, believing their dog is friendly
2. Are too cheap or lazy or both to get them spayed or neutered
3. Leave their barking dog outside because the animal is too loud
4. Let their young kids out alone to walk their dog
5. Don't clean up after their dog on their walk
6. Are too cheap or lazy or both to get them licensed.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/20/2002
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tuesday, june 18

Try to fix something, work it out, do it yourself, BEFORE you ask for help.
I don't mind helping you out, not at all, but I expect you to give it a try before you come asking me for assistance.
(Of course, I am never guilty of this.)
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/18/2002
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monday, june 17

One of the most successful movies this summer is going to be 4 nit wits "talking" with a computer-animated dog (who seems more intelligent than the 4 of them put together) that was inserted into scenes during post-production. If it wasn't for the money, would any of them, besides the dog, put "Scooby-Doo" on their resume?
Queen Elizabeth's knighthood list in the last 10 years looks more like the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and the Blockbuster Awards. Shouldn't she save a few, besides Hugh Grant and Boy George, for Harry to consider?
Two great mysteries that may never be fully solved:
1. Who was "Deep Throat"? The latest theory is Patrick Buchanan.
2. What exactly is a White Castle burger made of? Didn't they go through an advertising black-out during the "Where's the Beef?" era?
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/17/2002
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saturday, june 15

Please report the freakin' idiots who don't reciprocate their Blogsnob link. I know I'm sick of it!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/15/2002
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thursday, june 13

"Secrets" to being a great boss:
1. NEVER expect your underlings to do anything YOU would not do and DON'T make them do YOUR job;
2. Let your underlings have their days off, DON'T habitually make requests to monopolize their down time;
3. Give credit where credit is due;
4. Be properly prepared and punctual for meetings, appt., pay periods, start time, etc.
5. Be courteous, respectful and have a good attitude.
"Secrets" to being a great employee:
1. Be properly prepared and punctual for meetings, appt., start time, etc.
2. Be courteous, respectful and have a good attitude;
3. Don't repeatedly call in sick or request days off, unless they were agreed upon during hiring;
4. Do your job;
5. Learn other tasks when given the opportunity.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/13/2002
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wednesday, june 12

Why why why must you slam on your brakes when you see a police man? If you can see him and if he's got a radar gun, it's too late. You only draw more attention to yourself if you suddenly slow down. Why don't you just follow the rules to begin with, then you won't have to deal with covering up your wrong-doings.
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/12/2002
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Poor Woody Allen had to sue his former best friend (and probably the only other person to actually enjoy his endeavors) to get publicity for his pathetic and self-absorbed movies that rarely break even. That's an all-time low, even for him. What's next, divorce Soon-Yi and sue HER for alimony? Did I mention that I have never been able to watch more than 10 minutes in any Woody Allen film? He's no different than any other insecure, neutoric geek with a bit of money: he is still annoying!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/12/2002
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tuesday, june 11

Oh, Bwitchy-brunette, I completely disagree!
Today's children are not unruly, they are ADD/ADHD/pick-yer-label. They need to be given drugs as powerful and addictive as cocaine, so we parents and teachers can control our little zombies. Discipline is cruel and unusual punishment.
If you want "personal responsibility," then maybe YOU need to look in the mirror, because I am standing behind you, pointing my middle finger back at you for blaming me for my poor parenting skills . This is not my choice, my child has been DIAGNOSED. Say what you will, the 20th doctor afixed the label to Johnny, so I am NOT responsible!
OOPS! Gotta run, the pharmacist just called my name over the loud speaker. Johnny's Ritalin is filled and so is my Prozac!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/11/2002
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If you have unruly children, take a look at yourself. Stop blaming everyone but the person/people ultimately responsible responsible for their wellbeing and behavior...THE PARENTS!!!
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/11/2002
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People change and so, hopefully, do you!
Maybe last week, you positively despised someone, but NEVER count them out as a potential ally and NEVER believe they will not end up your friend. Former spouses, previous romantic ties, siblings and other relatives may re-enter your life, but don't forget, you have the power to shape the relationship, too!
Even if you do not like the person, you do not have to make it well-known. Grit your teeth, smile and keep the time spent together short. Who knows, one day, it might not be so bad and you might decide to make even more of an effort to be friendly.
Not everyone will end up buddy-buddy, but even a cordial acquaintance relationship is much better than cold hostility.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond, A Second Wife

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/11/2002
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friday, june 7

Why do doctors get mad at patients for diagnosing themselves, yet chastise when the same people do NOTHING about their symptoms? And, why do doctors get indignant with patients for waiting so long to see them about their symptoms, yet these same people call the office and are told they will need to wait a few days to see the doctor? Or better yet, the doctor has a nurse call back and tell the person to watch their symptoms "over the weekend." Make up your freakin' mind and quit blaming the insurance companies for putting you in the poor house - you don't HAVE to drive a new BMW, Jaguar or convertible every year! You don't NEED to belong to an exclusive country club and pay those outrageous yearly dues. Hey, Doc, try to remember that your patients pay for your lifestyle and quit seeing them as dummies interfering with your round of golf.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/7/2002
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thursday, june 6

"Soul mates." This phrase is like nails on the chalkboard to me. I hear WOMEN using it all the time, but never men. It's simply a buzzword, not unlike "Whatever!" Nothing more. It does NOT guarantee "happily ever after." Those of us who don't use "soul mate" are accused of not "really being in love" or "not knowing REAL love." Yeah, OK. I know a gal who is on her third "soul mate." End of relationship, end of soul-matedness, I guess. So much for that superior pedestal!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/6/2002
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wednesday, june 5

Listen. If all of your family and most of your friends think that you might need help, whether due to alcoholism, family problems, personal issues, maybe you should consider asking for help (therapist, minister, trusted friend). Accept the humility of asking for help and most likely you'll be glad you did (and so will the people around you). Stop being selfish and stop blaming everyone but yourself.
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/5/2002
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tuesday, june 4

Weather forecasters depend upon too much "hi-tech," and evidently, must never look out the window!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/4/2002
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monday, june 3

I beg to differ bwitchy-blonde. When I have a flat and someone asks me "Hey, you got a flat?" I prefer to tell them. "No, I was driving along and suddenly the other three just SWELLED right up!"
bwitchy-brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/3/2002
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saturday, june 1

When you get a flat tire and are busy changing it on the side of the highway and some idiot stops to ask you, "Hey, you got a flat?" Just tell the moron, "No, I always stop to rotate my tire every 3,000 miles, no matter where I am!"
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 6/1/2002
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friday, may 31

Why (oh why!?!?) can't the rest of NSYNC go into space with Lance Bass? I think the world would be a better place if they all went and took Brittany Spears with them. Oh yeah, that wouldn't look good for her "virginal" image: five guys, one chaste girl (sing-along: ~~Oops, I did them again!~~) Beam them up, Scotty!
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/31/2002
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OK OK OK OK. You are important enough to have a cellphone. I hate to tell you this but even broke, no one knows me, nonexistent me has one. PLEASE do not shove your conversation in our faces when you're on the elevator, or in a restaurant, or on the street. Can't you move out of the way, or at least LOWER your voice when you get a call?
Bwitchy-Brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/31/2002
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thursday, may 30

I take it your fancy car does not have turn signals. If that is truly the case, did you not learn in grade school (like *I* did) that you have hand signals you can use to change lanes? And I do not mean the ones that include extending your middle finger at me! I am more than willing to let you in front of me in traffic, but by God, if you try to squeeze in without signalling, don't be pissed at me when your precious back bumper is no longer attached to your car.
Bwitchy-Brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/30/2002
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TRUE IRONY: An organization for people with disabilities that does not have any type of "handicapped parking" or accessible restrooms. Sidewalks are in horrible disrepair and their doors are too heavy and uneven with the sidewalk, dangerously tripping up their crutch-using employees and forcing wheelchair-bound clients to readjust after the rough ride.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/30/2002
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wednesday, may 29

Bob Hope turned 99 today. A few of us were discussing it when a guy in his 60s said, "I don't see the point of living that long. He can't be healthy or happy. It's disgusting." I couldn't resist. "Hey, just wondering, but at what age do YOU want to be killed off? You sure aren't a spring chicken, either."
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/29/2002
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What's the deal with people on elevators? Get on, push your button and go to the back of the elevator. You don't need to push the button and stand IN FRONT of the panel so that the rest of us have to maneuver around you to push the button for our floor. Next time I'm just going to squeeze my big body in between you and the panel and let you deal with it!
Bwitchy-Brunette

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/29/2002
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tuesday, may 28

There is a guy at work who is always telling me not to use his phone because "it is infectious." I never use his phone, I have my own. I realize he is obsessed with me not touching it and I would not have a problem if he just came right out with it. So today when he said it, I laughed and suggested he get checked by a doctor with all diseases and germs that plague his phone day in and day out. I hope he realizes how stupid he sounds.
Perdition: bwitchy-blond

posted by ungrateful bwitches - - - 5/28/2002
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