The Definitaive Guide to Writing a Song for Britney Spears.
1.First off, is your name Britney spears? No, good you may continue.
2.Are you or have you been known as Eminem, Marshall Mathers or slim Shady? No? Please continue.
3.Take a subject. Remember to pick a pop favurite (I'm afraid the list isn't extensive) so look for something with the depth of a puddle in a drought.
4.You now need a tune. We have two tune templates for you to use. A dancey one and a ballady one. \par \par \'b7 Make a few adjustments to the chosen tune to fool the kids who are going to buy this.
5.Add in some "Ohs", "Yeahs" and maybe even some "Ayes".
6.Don't forget some vocoder effects.
7.Take the chorus and make a new version that is slower. Put this somewhere near but not at the end.
8.Now have both versions of the chorus sung together. This should be at the end.
9.You now should have a Britney Song. Just sit back while every kids radio and T.V show play it to death and wait for it to go in at number 1.
Coming Soon: How to Write a Britney Speech.