Thursday, July 10, 2003
I really should've kept a journal like the other users I see on the net on my accutane journey. Anyways, this is like the 7th-8th week. Most of the other journal keepers start on the first week. I really meant to keep one from the first day, but I don't know...just kept putting it off. So, anyways...here it is:
Week 1-8:
Today, I had my first nose bleed! Damn, it was scary. I think up until now, I've only had one other nose bleed (back in elementary school when I was playing tag and it started bleeding out of nowhere). So, at first I thought I had a runny nose or something...so, I tried to sniff it back up, but it won't budge and just kept running down my nose. As I lifted my hand to try to stop it, some blood dripped onto my fingers...it was so scary since like I said, this is like the only nose bleed I've had since elementary or that I could remember of.
It ended quickly...stuffed some tissue up my nose, but it was really scary. During the rest of the day, I was so paranoid that it was gonna start bleeding again with no warning whatsoever.
Ok, but also up until now, I've had no other big side effect. I guess that's why I haven't kept a journal yet. So, let me just sum up:
So far, I love the fact that my skin produce only a small amount of oil...I'm tempted to write that it doesn't produce any oil at all, because it's like that good. I love it! I love it! When I run my finger on the bridge of my nose, it comes off clean. CLEAN!! Usually, it comes off so oily. My skin used to have a tank of oil on it within 2 hrs of me washing my face, sometimes less.
And my hair, too! Usually, I need to wash my hair at least once a day. No ifs, ands, or buts...gotta wash it! It gets really oily. Now, I can go at least 2 days without washing it; sometimes 3, but I don't wanna get into the habit of not washing my hair, hence, not taking a shower, hence being dirty and smelly...so, I just keep it down to 2 days. But for habit's sake, I still wash it once a day, because I must take that shower in the morning...only when I'm super lazy or if I know that I'm gonna stay home for the day do I go without a shower.
And no depression either. Even tho, I do still breakout and large ones, too. And my parents and bros are always talking about how I'm breaking out like crazy or whatever, I'm still good. I just ignore them. I guess it's cause I got faith in the medicine and just clinging on the hope that in another month or so, I'd have super clean, clear skin. Yay!
And about the acne...I really haven't seen any real clearing up yet. Every few days, I still break out, especially around my cheek and neck. Ew! I never used to break out so much on the neck. Maybe one in a long while...but damn...now, I got a whole bunch there. Also, when I'm washing my face now, I can feel my acne more; it's more bumpy. Maybe it's cuz it's drier, so it feels harder...or something.
When I first started using accutane, I noticed that my nose had a lot of blackheads on it. It was disgusting...I had to whip out the nose strips...which didn't work. But anyways...now, I don't see the blackheads anymore or at least not as much. But then again, I never really had much blackheads on my nose before accutane. So, I guess accutane gave me blackheads and took them away as well? Well, when I started accutane, I stopped using all my beauty products, so maybe that's a cause as well.
Speaking of beauty products, I have really stopped using all of them. Now, I only use the Mario Badescu cleanser and the Clindamycin liquid thing the derm gave me.
I wash with the cleanser morning and nite and apply the Clin at nighttime only. I don't use anything else. I figure Accutane will do the rest. Plus, the derm didn't say I should do anything else. The nurse even told me to just wash with water. At first, I tried that...like during the first day of accutane...it was no go... was still very oily at that time. So, I just stuck with washing with the cleanser. Now, I think it's more possible to clean with just water. I wouldn't mind anyways, but I wanna consult with the derm first.
I read other people's accutane journal and a lot of them seem to use Cetaphil to clean their face. I bought it, but I don't like it. It's not that it doesn't clean the face, it's that it doesn't foam and I don't feel that it cleans any better than the MB cleanser. Well, I guess I'll consult with the derm about this as well.
I don't really notice any other side effects, except occassionally, I find myself scratching my legs or my arms. I guess this is due to the dryness. Yet, I don't really notice my skin flaking off or anything. And in fact, don't even think it's that dry. I guess the fact that I'm taking accutane in the summer really relieves most of the dry effect. My lips are dry, though. I noticed that it can get really dry if I don't apply Chapstick. Yea, I still stick with my trusty Chapstick brand. I didn't switch to anything stronger. I find that if I just apply whenever I feel my lips getting dry, Chapstick works fine and so do my lips. Come to think of it...I didn't really do anything new with myself. I'm still using the same lip balm, the same lotion, the same cleanser, the same shampoo. Mmm...at first, I was gonna go to Duane Reade and buy a whole new moisturizing regime. But I guess things turned out alrite. Tho, I use some hair conditioner when I remember, which is not very often. And I still apply lotion on my legs, arms, and eye lids the same amount of time...sporadically.
And oh yea...I went to my first blood test since being on accutane last week. Hope everything turns out great and no worries.
Ok, I guess that's it.
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Week 8:
well...apparently, I haven't been doing as well as I thought. I mean, I know that I got some big ones popping out on my face, but I was thinking that it's ok...it's just the process to good skin. Anyways, I went to see the derm yesterday and he increased my dosage from 40mg to 60mg, because "2months and you're still like this." =(
also, I have noticed that my face was sorta getting a lil oily, too. Not too oily, tho...I don't know if I'm just getting paranoid.
I've started to use the Cetaphil cleanser instead of my MB cleanser. Derm said that it's ok cuz Cetaphil is a mild cleanser and my skin is sensitive now. I've stopped using the clindamycin topical stuff at night as of yesterday, too, cuz my derm said that I shouldn't put anything on my face anymore because my skin is gonna get very dry. So, that means that other than cleaning it with Cetaphil morning and night and taking the 60mg of accutane at night, I'm doing nothing else to my face.
I've decided to laid off the hair conditioner when I wash my hair as of today. I figure that since I always leave my hair down when I go out, so oil from the hair can get on my face and thus, make me break out. So, even if oil is not coming out from within, it'll come from my hair and land on my face externally. So, Imma stop using the hair conditioner.
I know this is an up and down process, but it's so depressing to see it getting worse than better at times. I just hope clearer days will come soon.
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