The doctor says, "Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and then put your head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."
Ajay takes the bucket, goes into the other room, shits in the bucket, pisses on the shit, bends over, and breathes in the fumes for ten minutes.
He comes back to the doctor and says, "It worked. I feel terrific. What was my illness?"
The doctor says, "You were homesick."
A skeleton walks into a bar and walks up to the bartender.
"Gimme a beer," the skeleton says, "and a mop."
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, which says, "Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with rat poison."
So the kids run off and make up their own sign, which they post next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next day to look over his field. He notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives over to the sign and takes a look.
It says: "Now there are two."
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers."
"You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey!"
A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him.
As she sat by him, he said, "You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asks gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle.
The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to
make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something
seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off
even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist who offered to help. NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. "Tilt the
rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Pakistani scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.
"Bring it back to vertical position" the Pakistani said.The engineers did."Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our CD70 motorcycles in Pakistan".
Three guys, a scotsman, an englishman, and an irishman are in prison.
They find a magic lamp and rub it.
A genie appears and grants them a wish each.
The Scotsman wishes to be at home with his girlfriend.
The englishman wishes to be at home with his mother.
Once they are away, the irishman says: "I wonder what I should wish for, I wish my friends were here to help me make my choice"...
Three stupid people were in a car on their way to Disneyland.They saw a sign saying 'Disneyland left',so they all went home
3 men, a pakistani, an american, and an indian sardar are walking in the desert. The american says to the pakistani "what did youbring."The paki guy says "I brought some water in case I get thirsty." Then the american asks the sardar what he brought. The sardar replied "I brought a car door so if I get hot I can roll down the window."
There once wuz three guyz,american, mexican,and a pakistani, stranded on an island. one day they found a telescope and looked through it. they saw an island 20 miles away. the american went 10 miles and drowned. the mexican went 15 miles and drowned. the pakistani man went 19 miles, got tired and went back to the island.
An Italian, an Irish man and a Chinese man all get jobs at a construction site. The boss of the site walks up to the three men, points at a pile of sand behind him and then pointing at the Italian says "You're in charge of sweeping". He then points to the Irish man and says "You're in charge of digging". Finally he points to the Chinese man and says "You're in charge of supplies." He carries on speaking "I'm going to be gone for a while and when I come back I expect to at least see you guys have made a dent in that pile".
The boss comes back two hours later to find the pile of sand untouched, and the Italian and Irish man standing by. He walks up to them and shouts "what the hell have you been doing for the last two hours, and where's the Chinese man?" The Italian tells him "you put us two in charge of sweeping and digging, but we don't have a broom or a spade. You put the Chinese man in charge of supplies, but he's disappeared." The boss looks round and searches for the strange Orient. Suddenly when the boss approaches the pile of sand, the Chinese man jumps from behind the sand and yells "Supplies!"
