Nervously the first man said fly high above the trees
the genie did so and killed the man. Even more frightened the second man whose name was Eggbert said spell my name backwards a million times really quickly, the genie did accomplish the task thus killing the man.
The third man was totally freaked out, that a large fart sped roaring out his butt .He then told the Genie "PAINT THAT RED !!!!!!!!"The genie couldn't do that so he set the wise man free.
There were three kids that went before a judge. The judge said each of them had to say their name and explain what they did. The first boy said,"My name is Mike and I threw peanuts in the elephant's cage." The second kid said,"My name is Joe and I threw peanuts in the elephant's cage.The third kid said,"Hi,my name is Peanuts and they threw me in the elephant's cage!!!
There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot. When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place. When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other. On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home. This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise that he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other. One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully sorry about your brother." The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said "What happened to him?" The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happend. The brother then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol."
ONE DAY, THERE WERE THREE BLOKES WHO LIVED TOGETHER IN A FLAT. THEY DECIDED THAT BECAUSE THEY WERE SO BORED, THEY SHALL GO OUT AND BUY A TV, BUT THEY ONLY HAD $10 EACH SO THEY DECIDED TO GET ONE SECOND-HAND.
SO THEY ALL GO DOWN TO THE NEAREST SECOND-HAND STORE AND THEY SEEN IN A WINDOW, A TV FOR ONLY $30. THEY WALK IN AND TELL THE SALESPERSON THEY WANT THE TV. THEY ALL GIVE IN THEIR $10 EACH AND PURCHASE THE TV.
AS THE THREE BLOKES WALK HOME, THE MANAGER TELLS THE SALESPERSON THAT THE TV WAS ON A SPECIAL PRICE FOR $25. THE SALESPERSON GRABS 5 $1 COINS AND GOES AFTER THEM TO GIVE THEM THEIR CHANGE.
KNOWING THE GUYS PAID THIRDS EACH, THE SALESPERSON REALISED HE COULD NOT GIVE THEM THE CHANGE EQUALLY, SO HE DECIDES TO KEEP $2 FOR HIMSELF AND GIVES $1 EACH BACK TO THE THREE GUYS.
SO, GIVEN $1 EACH BACK, IT BRINGS THE THREE BLOKES TO A TOTAL OF $9 EACH, WHICH TOTALS TO $27 TOGETHER, PLUS $2 OF THE SALESPERSON'S TOTALS TO $29, WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?
these three G.I's got a weekend pass so they all decided to get
a hotel room together to party out of. now the room costs
30.00 dollars so they split the cost between them 10.00
a piece.
Now when the bellhop takes their bags upstairs he told them that
there is a 5.00 miltary discount, so sence he couldent
split the five dollars three ways he gave each of them 1.00
back and kept the remaining 2.00 for himself as a tip.
Now with the 1.00 back to each of them they realy only paid 9.00
a piece for the room.
(now here it is)
3x9=27 (right)
plus the 2.00 dollars the bellhop kept
in that case you get the 27.00+ 2.00=29.00(right)
well if that is so
WERE DID THE OTHER DOLLAR GO??????
Three friends--an Irishman, an Italian and a Polish fellow were walking past their favorite bar. They noticed a new sign in the window which read, "Free drink to anyone who can name a drink I can't make" signed Joe, the bartender. Well, they couldn't pass up an opportunity for a free drink---so the Irishman goes in and says, "Joe, I'll have an IW please." The old bartender says, "Sure enough Mr. O'Reilly, I'll get you your Irish whiskey!" So O'Reilly pays for his drink and goes out and tells the Italian that Joe had outsmarted him. "I'll give him one he won't know," said the Italian. So he goes in and says, "Joe, I'll have an IWW."
"OK Mr. Garibaldi, I'll get you your Italian white wine!" said Joe. So, the Italian pays for his drink and goes out and tells his Polish friend that Joe had outsmarted him too. So the Polish guy goes in and says, "I;ll have a 13." Joe looks and him in disbelief saying,"Well, Mr. Dumkowski, I guess I owe you a free one---what is a 13 anyway?" Dumkowski says, "You should have figure that one out---it's a 7 and 7.
These three Italian guys were talking about their sons. The first one says, "My son, Guido---he's a wonderful son. He's a graduate from high school and college and he's a have a wonderful job as an accountant---he's a make a wonderful salary---$100,000 a year--he's a wonderful boy!" The second one says."My son Jossepi--he's a wonderful son. He's a graduate top in his a high school class and top in his a college class. He's a go to medical school and he's a now a famous doctor and he's a make $500.000 a year--he's a wonderful boy!" The third one says, "My son, Alphonso---
he's a rotton stinking no go bum. He's a forever in trouble---he's a only go to sixth grade and he can't even write his a name---but he makes 400million dollars a year as a sports mechanic!"
The other two ask, "Sports mechanic---
what is a sports mechanic?" The third one says. "I don't exactly know, but he fixes the baseball games, he fixes the football games, and he fixes the races!"
