Tragedy by Love

by Adam Roberts

Bob was first cousin once removed of Queen Amidala. They ended up being at about the same age, (give or take 10 months and 25 days), because Bob was born of the eldest son of the eldest daughter, and Amidala of the youngest son. They had both liked each other for many years, but traditional moral values and the fact that they only saw each other every 2 years at the family reunion barred them from having a real relationship.

Bob was a shrubber by proffesion, although he was still only an apprentice. His family had had high expectations for him in politics or construction, as he won many 'bright future' awards in those categories as a child back when he was excited about them, but he now found those boring. He hated shrubberies, but it was an easy job, and helped to fund his postcard collection. He didn't care much for postcards, but that was the only way he could get pictures of podracers, as they were banned as barbaric on Naboo.

Bob had loved podraces for half of his 16 year long life. It was only half his life, because he didn't discover them until he was 8. One of his unwitting grandmothers from Tatooine, (she was really rich and so could make the journey) had made a podracer cake, thinking that he, like all other 8 year old boys she knew, loved podracers. Well, the cake made Bob curious, so he did some investigating on the COM-link network library, and got hooked.

Of course, underground podracing had been going on in Naboo for ages. Bob snuck out to them regularly. There wasn't much of a crowd, as the penalty for being involved in a podrace was lifetime inprisonment. But Bob couldn't help himself. The podracing was too exciting. Naturally, he felt extremely guilty quite often, and many times resolved never to go back again. But he did anyway. It was like an addiction.

Now his grandmother had died. (a different one, Amidala's aunt) Most everyone was coming out to her funeral. She had been killed by a man, ironically, returing home after an underground podrace. His grandma had been jaywalking, and was half drunk at the time, but the way the press reports things, the incident was used to promote global campaigns devoted to shutting down podracing once and for all.

Most would think that Bob would be sad. He was; kind of. But Grandma was sick and would have died in a week or two anyway. Everyone was already prepared for her death. Besides, Amidala would almost certainly be at the funeral. It would be the first time he saw her in over a year.

The viewing was a simple one, but elegant. Amidala was not there. Perhaps she had other engagements, or maybe she got held up in traffic. Bob thought for sure that she would be at the funeral the next day. No one would miss their aunt's buriel.

The funeral was held at a beuatiful cemetary only a mile or two outside Theed. Amidala was there. She stayed over by her family and this one guy with faggish long braided hair and a long dark cloak. Bob decided not to make any moves on her until after the body was at least lowered, just out of respect for the dead.

After the buriel, everyone went over to an old air taxi depo then used as a meeting hall for such events for refreshments. It was sort of like a mini-reunion. After downing a few Gungan Bagels, (made by the Gungans, not of them!) Bob went strolled in the direction of the table she was on. She was sitting next to the guy with the long hair.

Then Amidala saw him coming. She started out giving him a loving smile, but then it vanished to normiality, and they just stared in each others' eyes for a while. Then Bob started walking again, and his eyes caught Amidala's lap. Amidala's and the queer's hands were intertwined upon it.

Bob stared at the guy's face. He was getting some fruit from the table, and wasn't yet aware of Bob's approachment. Bob recognized him from somewhere; then he remembered. In the tabloids a few months ago, it was this guy, listed as Anakin Skywalker, who had reportadley helped Amidala have twin children. Bob had kept a copy because it had a good photo of her. He never read the article, but it must have somehow subliminally etched itself in his mind during his looking at it constantly.

Anger consumed Bob. He turned around abruptly, and left. He walked out of the depo, and summoned an air taxi. He paid the fare, and headed home. On the way, he saw a practice pod race. He strolled over, and inspected the pods. One of them was empty. He got in.

The practice went rather well; Bob made 3rd place. That was pretty good, considering it was his first time and that he was a human. The aliens complimented him, and asked him to join them in the big race next month. Bob consented.

When he was heading back to his house, a royal speeder speed (duh) over him. When he got home, his parents were there, and had found out where he had been. He got in alot of trouble, and got grounded for a month. The cops got word, and put him in a restraining bolt until a hearing with the courts could be scheduled.

Bob was brought to the court the following week. Amidala was there, as podracing was a high crime. So was her hippie boyfriend. He was carrying a lightsaber. After a few hours of bickering between the appointed lawyers and the royal prosecution, Amidala gave Bob a pardon, and he was escorted by the blaster-armed guards back home.

During the next month, a many things happened, not the least of them being that Queen Amidala managed to get the anti-pod racing law revoked. This naturally brought a gigantic boom to the pod racing world on Naboo, and the big race Bob was in got re-named the First Annual Naboo Classic. New entry standards were set in place, and the best racers from around the galaxy entered.

Since Bob had already entered, he didn't have to worry about qualiying. His parents got really proud of him, and invited everyone to come see him race. And with a grand prize of 3,000,000 credits, who wouldn't show up?

Bob geared up his pod, and rotated the engines. In only a few minutes, the race would begin. He scanned the crowd for anyone he knew. In the royal box, was Queen Amidala. She smiled at him. Next to her was the long-haired guy now wearing a pony-tail.

"Ready!" boomed the announcer. Bob got in his pod, and started up the engines. "Set!" Bob sat up in his seat. He glanced over to the stands. Anakin had his arm outstreched towards Bob.

"GO!" All the pods started in a furry of sound. Anakin's arm made a fist, and then swung to his left. Bob's pod also swung to the left, and collided with 2 others in a firy explosion. The crowd shrieked, as a slab of metal fell towards the royal box. It hit Amidala in the head, knocking it off and sending her hairpeice flying off. The stands burned up quickly, killing most.

Bob was flung from his pod about 200 yards. He had a terrible pain in his leg. He tried to get up, staggered for a bit, and then fell back down. He turned his head to the left tirerdly. He saw Anakin standing up over the burning wreckage, with his arms held up. His look was triumphant, yet saddend. Then Bob closed his eyes and went to sleep.