Upon Razor's Edge
There, in the corner, the black-haired girl sits.
She's pondering her life and what it means.
How did she end up in here? How could he have let
this happen? She thought he LOVED
her...she thought he cared.
The walls are thick and meaningless, no room for
frivolous mourning. The cracks in the
ceiling go on forever. Nothing matters....
A rat skittishly crosses to the corner as she bangs
her head upon the padded cell wall. Such
dingy darkness in a place certified to be fit for
humans, yet the light is blinding, flashing into her
bloodied retinas. She sits, still staring blankly
into the musty air, and still letting her head fall
back, with a loud thud, upon the wall. The pain
doesn't matter, nothing does, that's why she's
here. She keeps flashing back to that awful
night...
As the hazy memory floods into her throbbing mind,
she curls her pale knees tightly into her
hollow chest, letting the memory come into full bloom
within her withered consciousness, taking
her deep into dementia.
The lights flashing blindlingly. Music so loud, yet
barely audible, fills her space while she lies
motionless on her bed. The candles are no longer
burning, they went out hours ago, leaving
waxy trails of black and blue down the walls. She
leans over to her desk and lights another cone
of incense in her laughing Buddha. The scent of
opium fills the air, spiraling smoke into the
darkness. And she lights another cigarette.
The memory stops there as it always does and she
screams, trying to force the answers out from
her battered mind. But of course it never works.
She is now curled into a ball in the corner trying
not to think about the rats. Their sharp teeth
chattering in the cold...hiding in the
shadows...hiding with HER truth...They know, they
always have.
She sighs loudly as she begins to feel the rush of
insanity pounding at her mind. The voices
won't stop. There is someone in there, but she knows
it's not her. She screams, the sound
echoing inside her mind. No one hears. No one
except the rats, and she wishes they would just
go away.
There is a knock on the door as one of the servile
assistants fumbles with the keys to padlock
that secures the chain to her cell. But the girl in
the corner just laughs, and slams her fists into
the window. Nothing shatters, except the inside of
this fragile being.
"Why?!?!" she screams. "They know! Leave me be
demons! Do you understand?!!!??!!?!?!?!"
She is now rambling incoherently, crying out as she
grips the bars, yelling into the soapy pane of
glass.
The numbness begins, and she doesn't even feel the
prick of the needle as the doe-eyed nurse
shoots the venom. "Rachel? Rachel honey, wake up."
Speaking as if she actually gave a damn.
"Are you all right? Talk to me sweetie," she says as
the girl drifts further into oblivion. She
doesn't hear that awful nasal voice seeping from that
fat woman's mouth; she doesn't hear the
door slam shut, leaving her in the darkness. She
hears nothing except the ringing in her ears
and the pounding of the blood in her veins as it
flows so freely, and drenches her insides.
The colours start....The walls move...And the girl
smiles as her pale being reflects dimly upon the
razor's edge...
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