"Ban the Bean"

Dear Nessi

"Beans found in flat in north London - run for cover now!"

Suddenly a handful of beans becomes an "al-Qaeda poison factory." (I had to link to tabloid to show the hysteria element) Power Pack and I are shitting ourselves. Not because we think we will be attacked by t*rrorists, but because our (north London) flat is FULL of beans! so now any vegan (or attempting to be vegan) is a suspect?

And it wasn't until this morning on the radio that anyone other than my favourite news site pointed out what a coincidence it is that when the British public clearly do not support war on Iraq, this 'discovery' is made. Beans! better watch those flagelots, they might have 'properties'! Saddam will certainly be in breach of resolutions for not declaring his kidney beans.

So the year has started now. The last remnants of Christmas packed away 'til next year, apart from a few fairy lights that I may as well leave up anticipating the winter's first dinner party.

Feeling pretty good for it being this time of year. Snow is falling - which makes it slightly less depressing than prevailing greyness that is the norm. I didn't wake up New Year's Day with my head down a toilet, for a change. Christmas itself was enjoyable for the third year running - as the tradition started with Mr and Mrs Tattoo 2 years ago - friends, food and hashcakes. This time we added the sheesha pipe from Egypt, with apple tobacco. And the Osbournes on tv - and in our front room, courtesy of me and my husband, who both resemble Ozzy more than Sharon.

I feel refreshed and have launched into several new paintings. Tonight I'm going into town (beware, there might be chickpeas on the Underground!) to meet a tranny I knew 15 years ago who resurfaced during my exhibition in Dec 2001. He runs a members club - for rich trannies? Could this be fodder for the canvas?

Despite saying I was going to give up music soon, the Succulent Singles and Surf Band both have gigs coming up. Went to Ruby's 40th (yes 40!) birthday on Sunday, saw and met lots of interesting people. Got a lift home from Izzy and Crawdaddy. Feeling good about not being as reclusive as we were towards the end of last year. I'll have to see how it goes with the health thing though, see if I can be social and not smoke or drink too much.

In other news, I had a very erotic dream about this guy I met in Zimbabwe 12 years ago - shameful, I know - he was like he was then in the my dream. Nowadays he's too bald and muscular for my liking. Anyway, I thought I'd look him up on the net. I bumped into him a few times at demos over the Afghan war but haven't seen him at any for quite awhile. No wonder. He's on his fourth novel and has been touring Europe and the US promoting his work. Won awards and stuff too. Its good to know I've been out with successful people, too, not all junkie losers . No mention of his Socialist political career, though. I wonder if his book company keeping him so busy is another conspiracy - cos someone with that talent and energy disagreeing with government might be a little too dangerous. Also, the bios always say he taught in Egypt - when in fact he left Egypt part way through his year teaching and that's how we met - on a bus to Harare.

So, it looks like you are busy too, already, getting a sculpture ready for a competition in a few weeks. And busy at work which is why I'm saying that in case readers wonder...

Petra

Dear Petra

I have to say that the fact the poison found in a (local)flat was extracted from beans could be seen as funny, but as far as I'm concerned this is the first concussive bit of evidence we have that 'someone' (I won't say public in this case) in the UK is at risk from terrorism. However as I've said before as a country, and especially (London) as a city, we are used to this... it won't bring on wide spread panic.

I also doubt very much that it is Bush putting pressure on the UK media to scare us into shape, I do think that there is genuine concern over this.

Although I seemed to work hard last year I didn't actually get much done, I need, I think to set myself goals.. I tried to explain last night in an email to you what I have planned for my sculpture:

"I have a kind of master plan now, it mainly revolves around getting enough done for a website, then if its not too expensive taking out ads in certain magazines. I've discovered that there are people doing similar things... a hazy line where 'art' and 'toys' meet. It's really moving very far away from the Art Movement and its ideals, but I do actually think there is a 'market' for it. For instance there is a Chinese artist called 'Michael Tau' who started by making a series of hand made dolls.. now he mass produces them in plastic, in runs of about 500 and they sell for about $100 each. (The competition I'm entering is for a website that sells his stuff).

I'd still like to do that display in Henrys Gallery window when I have enough done, but I have a feeling he might be difficult about it, so I'm not counting on it."

Last night I had a bit of a disaster, I wasted over £30 worth of silicon rubber and two evenings work. The final date for the competition is the 20th of Jan so I now only have two weeks to make a good mould, cast and paint it.

I keep dreaming of a world where I walk each day to my own studio, decorated in my own taste, and spend the day working on my own projects, making my own decisions, paying my own wages. A world far away from office partitions, over head lighting and Grey Town Suburb.

But really who am I to complain? The girl who took the photo for my CD cover has breast cancer. It seems people are just falling ill everywhere, I know of 3 people with breast cancer, 2 of them very seriously ill, I find it hard to find any happiness when things like this are going on. Life is so fragile.

But anyway despite it all, I've just decided to try and keep working as hard as can this year, if I keep working hard at least there is a chance that something good will come from it.

ms gunn