Dear Petra

Do bad and sad and terrible things always happen at once? is January is worse month for this? I learnt yesterday - through someone who works here- that a guy I used to work with at my last job died on Friday. This guy had been ill for a long time, he had some sort of blood disease that he'd had since childhood, recently apparently he also had cancer, I hadn't been aware of this.

He was also the best friend of Stalker Nick, they shared a house together with some other people after Nick was fired. I'm absolutely terrified of Stalker Nick. I haven't heard from him for about a year now. I'm dreading that now this has happened he is going to try and get in contact with me again, and I'm just not going to know what to say or do.

What to you say to someone who has been a total pest but whose best friend has just died.

He won't realise that I already know.

I'm at work terrified the phone will ring and it will be him. I've lost my appetite, I have dioreah.

He sent me a parcel about this time last year, I didn't open it and sent it back.. 'return to sender, no longer works here' When he received it he called reception asked if I was still here.. they said I was.

My usual January sadness, has increased ten fold this year, mainly because of all the awful things that have happened to people I know. Vimco planted some spring flowers in the window box, daffodils, snowdrops, pansy's... I slept badly last night, and looked at the flowers in the grim morning light.

ms gunn