Something About the Rain
PART II
Billie woke when he heard the engine of the Mustang in the driveway; thought it odd when he didn't hear car doors slam. He looked at the clock; saw that it was only ten. He pulled back the sheets, puttered out to the front door, debated with himself on what was worse: the fact that Sharpshot and Kenny were back early, or that he fell asleep before three. He parted the blinds just enough to see his friend still sitting in the car staring at the steering wheel. Kenny no where to be seen. His first thought was, Oh, shit! He's killed him! then Sharpshot finally exited the car. He walked out onto the porch.
I stopped just short of the steps when I heard Billie come out, "Awww, you didn't have to wait up for me."
He snorted, "I didn't, Bitch. Your loud ass car woke me up," he paused, observed the fish and animals I held "I take it you guys had fun?"
I unconsciously rubbed my chest where I was still feeling--I dropped my hand, "I guess," started up the steps.
"Mm-hm. So, where's your other half, then?" Anger flashed through me when he said that, making him take a step back.
"I took him home," I said, then moved to go through the door, ending the conversation.
As I passed he muttered, "You know, it wouldn't kill you to admit you like him." I stopped and stared at him. D-a-m-n. Did he have ESP, or something? Kenny skittered across my mind. My shoulders dropped. I surprised him by putting the animals inside; stepped back out. I leaned against the porch railing, arms crossed as I looked up at the night sky. It was getting cloudy; I figured there'd be rain.
"I never met anyone like him," I said calmly, "I don't understand why he wants...me."
Billie looked at his childhood friend, speechless. He had known there was something between the two the day Kenny first walked into the house, but figured it was better to keep quiet about it. Especially since the way FK had reacted when he heard Kenny's name...kind of made it a little impossible for him to bring up in casual conversation, 'Hey, I think the guy you just tried to kill and your brother might have a little somethin'-somethin' going on.' Good thing Kenny was...understanding, to say the least. The boy was a little odd, but...they got used to it. Didn’t seem like he’d be going anywhere, anyway...
"He makes me--he makes me want to be better." I said.
"Figured that much," he said in confirmation, "You haven’t been hanging with us as much since he got here."
Had it been that bad? "He's just a kid. How can I--I can’t--won’t get mixed up in that, but..." I stopped, "no matter how hard I try, I can’t...get rid of him."
Billie settled on the porch railing, "Maybe that’s because you really don't want to get rid of him," then as he played with the peeling paint of the railing, he asked quietly, "Ever thought you might--you know--love him?"
I didn't say anything as the memory of the coaster swam through my mind, "I think..." I tried to tag it, gave up, "I don’t know--and that's the problem."
"Problem? What problem? Kenny loves you, you love Kenny..."
He didn’t finish ‘cause I offered him one of my trademark stares, "I didn’t say I loved him," I said pointedly, "and it’s not that easy. In case you haven’t noticed I’m not exactly the type you bring home to mother," I looked away, "He's just so damn...innocent."
Innocent. Billie had thought that himself as he had gotten to know Kenny. They were the same age, but it was hard not to think of him as a boy, a kid, "He is a bit naive-"
"That’s the understatement of the--" I caught myself. Damn. Was I going to start talking like him too?
"But," he continued when I didn‘t finish, "if he wasn‘t that way...would you still want him?" seeing that he was getting no where with that question, he explained, "Look, he’s over here so much it’s like he doesn’t have a home of his own. If he’s not here--he's calling. You guys go out so much it’s like you’re dating, anyway. He's obviously in love with you...so don‘t tell me ‘It‘s not that easy’" he said dropping his voice, mocking me, "You‘re already doing it! Besides," he leapt off the railing, "if you really didn‘t want him around he woulda been gone a long time ago," he walked to the front door, "Just a little advice though," he paused to yawn before moving through, "you might want to hurry up with that revelation, ‘cause he might not be willing to wait for you much longer."
I looked at him, "Like you’re not willing to wait for FK?"
He stopped, surprised, then flashed a sad smile, "O-k. That was fair," he sighed, scratched behind his head, "I envy you, man," dropped his arm, stepped just inside the door, "Just...don’t fuck it up, ok?" then he left me to stare at the door as it closed behind him.
* * *
I got back in the car just as it started to rain; drove till I found something that caught my eye. I didn't feel like staying home after talking with Billie; too many questions, too many thoughts echoing in my brain.
‘Ever thought you might love him?’
I passed the bright neon sign of Hazin' and did a quick U-ee. I found a parking spot, and managed to get in easy ‘cause the bouncer recognized me as a regular. Tonight I was at least going home with a buzz. The music bombarded me as I entered the familiar darkness and headed straight for the bar. I downed a few before finally turning around to survey the crowd. The usual mix was there: hip-hoppers, ravers, wannabees, then that special breed of freaks that just didn't fit into any category. They were all out tonight, either passed out, grinding on the dance floor, or hugging the walls. I smiled, satisfied that there was already a few trying to get me to notice them. I turned back to the bar, a buzz already kicking in my brain.
"Hey, you looking for some company?"
That didn't take long. I turned to the girl. She was cute, a little taller than I liked them--but hey, I wasn't gonna be picky. She had been one of the few trying to get my attention, but was the only one with enough balls to approach.
We weaved our way to the back of the club. She must have done it before, ‘cause she lead me to a small room that was away from the main area that I had never noticed before. Once inside it didn’t take long for her to start what I had come for.
I stood still as she jerked on my belt to loosen it. This was exactly what I needed to get that purple-haired freak out of my head, I told myself. Me? Love him...? She finally freed my belt, unbuttoned my pants. Her hand slid in smoothly and I sucked in my breath; moaned as she stroked me.
"You like that, huh?" she whispered in my ear. I grabbed her, pulled her hard against me as I kissed her to shut her up. I wasn’t interested in conversation.
She broke away, "You’re a good kisser."
Her words triggered the memory of him telling me that exact same thing. Fuck! Go away! I said to his ghost. I grabbed her ass, jerked her skirt up, I had to hurry--had to make him go. My lips traveled across her neck, her shoulders, whatever was in reach, but she pushed away and smiled. Never taking her eyes from mine she went to her knees. I didn’t try to stop her as she pulled me out, encased me in her mouth. My fingers tangled in her hair, my body automatically started its own counter beat to her sucking. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back as the edge came closer...closer...It didn’t take long, but when I finished I pushed her away, disgusted.
Although it was her I watched as she wiped the back of her hand slowly across her lips...all I could think of--had been thinking of the whole time--was that purple-haired bastard.