WOULD YOU LIVE

TO TELL THE TALE?

IF YOU WERE IN A HORROR FLICK, WOULD YOU KICK SOME KILLER BUTT OR DIE AN EARLY, GUT WRENCHING DEATH?

1) You're babysitting when all of a sudden you see a maniac peering in at the window. What do you do?

• a) Assume that it's just some poor soul who's lost, and invite him in for a cup of tea.
• b) Run round the house screaming at the top of your voice and flinging doors open.
• c) Ring the police on your emergancy mobile and tell them there's a mad-man on the loose.
• d) Kill him.

2) There's a terrible storm a-blowin' and you're on your own in the house. You hear a weird banging in the garden. What do you do?

• a) Kill someone.
• b) Arm yourself with an axe (you always keep one handy) and make sure all the doors are securely bolted.
• c) Run out into the back garden to investigate, accidentally locking yourself out in the process.
• d) Get totally hysterical, scream, "They're gonna get me!" repeatedly and make your face look really pale.

3) Your boyfriend or girlfriend is always late to meet you and has strange marks on their clothing and a shifty look in their eyes. How do you deal with it?

• a) Make sure that you're never alone with them.
• b) Agree to accompany them to that deserted stone quarry on Friday night.
• c) Kill them.
• d) Make them really, really angry by getting all agitated about their strange habits.

4) You're walking down a pitch-black alley when you feel a hand on your shoulder. How do you react?

• a) Nuzzle affectionately up against their arm. Cause its just your boyfriend or girlfriend, right?
• b) Kill them.
• c) Cry like a baby and beg for all your worth with the owner of the hand to spare your life.
• d) Remember your self-defence classes, push them out of the way, then run like the wind to the brightly-lit McDonalds just around the corner.

5) Some weirdo starts giving you crank calls and asking what your favourite sacry movie is. Do you give them good phone?

• a) You think it's a friend having a laugh, but when you realise it's a maniac, you run screaming into the cupboard under the stairs, taking the phone with you.
• b) As if! You tell the creep where to get off before hanging up and calling the police.
• c) You trace their number and go round to kill them.
• d) You get talking and arrange to meet later that night.

6) By the way, what's your favourite scary movie?

• a) Life's scary enough without watching blood-splattered flicks.
• b) God, horror movies are so corny. Like, some idiot wearing a mask is really gonna slaughter you!
• c) Halloween, Driller Killer, I Spit On Your Grave, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre- you love them all.
• d) Are you kidding? Watching soaps is about as much gore you can handle.

7) Your friends start getting murdered one by one. How do you cope with the stress?

• a) Actually, you feel calmer than normal. Let's face it, they deserved it, didn't they?
• b) It ain't gonna cramp your syle, no way. You're still gonna out raging 'til the small hours.
• c) Your blood pressure may never come down.
• d) As far as you're concerned, everyone you know is a potential suspect- it's just as well the polic have provided you with 24/7 protection.

8) Who would play you in the film of your life?

• a) Any blonde dude or babe with a good set of lungs.
• b) Hmph! If it isn't the hero or heroine, then you ain't paying the ball.
• c) Some party girl or guy with good hair and a pretty reckless personality.
• d) Someone who looks great in a mask.

WOULD ANYONE HEAR YOU SCREAM?
ADD UP YOUR SCORES
AND FIND OUT...

• 1) a2 b1 c3 d0
• 2) a0 b3 c2 d1
• 3) a3 b2 c0 d1
• 4) a2 b0 c1 d3
• 5) a1 b3 c0 d2
• 6) a3 b2 c0 d1
• 7) a0 b2 c1 d3
• 8) a1 b3 c2 d0

0-6

7-12

13-18

19-24