Birthday: It was a dark and stormy night... October 2nd, 1978, a child was born....

Height: He was destined to be the supreme ruler of the free world... He grew and he grew, becoming a dense 5 foot nine inches...

Weight: and weighing nearly two hundred and twenty-five pounds.

Major: But the exalted child left home to get an education. Now he is doomed to spend the rest of his life attached to a computer.

Secret desire: He sits in front of his computer, dreaming of one day breaking these chains and becoming a Harlem Globetrotter.

Secret shame: But, his past haunts him, because he used to live his life in shame, a shame so great not worthy of human words.... he used to support the other Oklahoma school (dun, dun, dun)!!!!!

Pet peeves: but now he has seen the light and is now on his crusade to rid the world of stupid people...

Favorite color: wearing his passion red cape and yelling...

Personal quote: "FREAKING EL NIÑO!!!"

Favorite beverage: Now he is the man of all men, drinking Tropical FusiaBerry Koolaid

Favorite food: and eating Taco Bell

Favorite music: while listening to Bohemian Rapsody

Hobbies: and playing the sport of all sports, fishing.