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"Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast, to soften rocks, or to bend a knotted oak."

William Congreve (17th Century!)

Important quotes

Kurt Vonnegut



THE BUMPER STICKERS OF LIFE:


    1 Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
    2 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
    3 When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
    4 Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
    5 Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
    6 I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    7 He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
    8 She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
    9 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  10 I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
  11 Honk if you love peace and quiet....
  12 Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  13 Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  14 A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  15 Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I put it in Reverse???
  16 I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  17 Eschew Obfuscation. (go ahead, look them both up!!)
  18 Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  19 Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  20 On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  21 Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
  22 All generalizations are false.
  23 Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
  24 I brake for no apparent reason.
  25 Learn from your parents' mistakes -- use birth control.
  26 Forget about World Peace..Visualize using your turn signal...
  27 We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
  28 He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  29 Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  30 It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  31 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  32 Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
  33 Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  34 Born free.....Taxed to death.
  35 The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
  36 Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
  37 I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
  38 Sometimes I wake up grumpy: Other times I let him sleep.
  39 All men are idiots, and I married their King.
  40 Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
  41 Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
  42 Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
  43 I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  44 Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  45 If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
  46 When you do a good deed, get a receipt - in case heaven is like the IRS.
  47 Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
  48 NO radio - Already stolen.
  49 Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  50 Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
  51 I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  52 Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
  53 OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
  54 Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
  55 I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  56 Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
  57 IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  58 Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
  59 It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  60 According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
  61 Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
  62 Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
  63 A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  64 Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
  65 How can I miss you if you won't go away?
  66 Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  67 Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  68 We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
  69 Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  70 Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  71 Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  72 Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  73 i souport publik edukashun.
  74 There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who
  75 Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
  76 Horn broken. Watch for finger.
  77 Ever stop to think and forget to start again??"
  78 Money talks - mine always says "Good bye"

There are many quotes to inspire your day,
here are some more

LESSONS FROM WILL ROGERS


   1. Don't squat with your spurs on.
   2. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
   3. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
   4. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
   5. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
   6. Always drink upstream from the herd.
   7. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
   8. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
   9. There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
  10. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  11. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
  12. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
  13. After eating an entire! bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."  -- Thomas Edison

AND STILL MORE


QUOTES