> Italians on the bus...
> > One day, an old woman and her young grandson are on the bus. While driving around town, the bus stops and picks up two Italian men who sit directly behind the old woman and her grandson. The men begin arguing immediately, and this nerves the old woman. One of the men says... "For the last time...Emma come first, den I come... two asses, dey cumma togetha... I cumma again... now the two asses, dey come one more time... I pee twice... and I cumma once a more!" The old woman is embarrassed for her young grandson, blocks his ears and turns to the two Italian men and says... "You two young men should be ashamed of yourselves! Speaking that way in front of a child"> > The Italians look at her confused, and one Italian says... "Hey lady, coola downa! Imma only teachin' my cousin Luigi how to spella..."> > > "M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i."
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
> -----------------------------------
>
> 1. You have a woman president without electing her
> 2. You can spell colour wrong
> 3. You can call Budweiser beer
> 4. You can be a crook and still be president
> 5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do
anything
> 6. If you can breathe calmly you can buy a gun
> 7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
> 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made
and
> nobody seems to care.
> 9. You get to call everyone you've never met
"buddy"
> 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
> 11. When you're not.
> 12. At all.
>
> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
> ---------------------------------
>
> 1. When speaking fast you can sound gay
> 2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for
the first time
> 3. You get to eat jungle food like snails and frog's legs
> 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
> 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night
films
> on Channel 4.
> 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's
countries
> 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
> 8. Germans march up and down your most famous streets
humiliating
> your sense of national pride
> 9. You don't have to bother with toilets
> 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not
>
> > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
> > --------------------------------
> >
> > 1. Guinness
> > 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
> > 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down
someone's road
> > 4. Pubs never close
> > 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the
second
> > Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend
that you
> > can't have sex with a condom on.
> > 6. No one can ever remember the night before
> > 7. Kill people you don't agree with
> > 8. Stew
> > 9. More Guiness
> > 10. Eating stew and drinking guinness in an Irish pub
at 3 in the
> > morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
> Top 10 Annoying Things About Being
Asian
> ==============
>
> 1. Piles of shoes in house make it difficult to open front,
back,
> and side doors.
>
> 2. There are only three hairstyles to choose from.
>
> 3. Getting carded when you're 45.
>
> 4. People see a bunch of scribbles on chopsticks and ask you
to
> translate.
>
> 5. Often get hernias from lifting those 45 pound bags of
rice.
>
> 6. Everyone thinks you're Chinese no matter where in Asia
you're
> ancestors are from.
>
> 7. Difficult to find gallon size soy sauce at your local
Safeway.
>
> 8. People never seem as eager to barter for cows or chickens
anymore.
>
> 9. Your relatives bring you back adorable clothing from Asia
with
> fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no
sense,
in
> great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the
ever
popular
> lime green.
>
> 10. You turn bright red after drinking two sips of beer.